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Originally Posted by moonlightpath1  Thank you very much Mrs Adara for your timely reply. The issue is that this lady cleverly asks my son about our evening plans and then knowing very well I cannot deny, asks me to do things for her.This talk with my son takes place when my son comes home from the bus stop. Sometimes I do not go to the bus stop because I want to train my son to be little independent ( in a safe environment ). It angers me that I am not ble to parent my son the way I want to because I have started going to the bus stop to monitor her or put an end to this talk. I also feel guilty for doing this. |
I agree with pavarun on this.
My strategy would be....Let her ask your son ,very cunning and clever way, and even if your son tells her we have absolutely nothing to do this evening and when she comes and tries to drop off her son or calls you and says since you don't have any plans this evening can I drop my son blah!blah!....Tell her point blank...."Yeah, you are right. I don't have anything to do this evening but it is not possible for me to say yes to your proposal just because it is not convenient for me".
Just because your son is small and cannot understand this manipulative lady's tricks doesn't mean you give in to her demands. You having no plans for the evening should not give her the liberty to use you as a baby sitter.
You are free and you want to spend this time just staring at the wall....so what? From where does she get the audacity to tell you what to do in your free time? Just be straight forward and be sure you will lose her "friendship" (like I did)...can we use that word with this kind of lady?
Adara
. I am a stay at home mom with a son in elementary school. Since I can do my work in the morning in a relaxed manner I usually try to go out of my way to help my neighbors/ others. One of my neighbor constantly asks for help. She has a son in elementary school and another one who is 2 yrs old. She fixes Dr appts during her kid's nap time and usually asks me to stay at her house for that hr or so till she returns from her appt ( it is hard when the kid wakes up in the middle ).I do that always even rescheduling mine thinking she needs help . This started spilling into taking her son to other classes or even dropping him at classes etc. If I am dropping him she always rushes me to start from my house etc ( I think she wants to control everything and I usually go atleast 5 min before the class time). She tries to get things done from me instead of trying to co-ordinate with her husband.She always sends her kid to play with mine saying that she has to take a nap,or kid will wake up and off late the reason being that she is working from home. I do not have an issue with kids playing together but the problem here is I try to fix play dates for my son with his classmates and those kids do not like when my neighbor's kid joins them. I can only parent other kids to an extent. My son is happy playing with everybody.But bcos of the frequent fights he is neither able to play with his classmate nor with my neighbor's son. She never asks before she sends her kid and hence I am unable to say no. I always feel that I am being treated like her servant maid. When the kids were playing at her place she called me and asked me to call my son back bcos she wanted to sleep etc. I ask for help very occassionaly and only after exausting all the options.I'd like to help others since I have the time but do not want to be treated like a maid ( very true ) or taken for granted. Kindly advice me how to handle this situation.I think I allowed it 
in the first place and now do not know how to come out of it.Excuse me for the long post.
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