Vegetarian... why?

Hi moms (and dads too!)

We are vegetarians... sort of flexible in the sense eggs in cake allowed but no hard-boiled, omelettes...

We live in Germany. It's a very vegetarian friendly country but yet traditionally they're hard core sausage eaters. No blaming them at all!

My son, 4 yrs old, has been taught that he's a vegetarian and so far does a good job of checking wherever he eats about what he eats. His pre-school is very good in making sure the 'banned' things don't enter his mouth.

Generally i take him through the meat, fish counters in supermarkets and show him these are things we don't eat as vegetarians. I do tell him that we believe it's bad (well i would love to use some other word here but this is the best he can comprehend) to kill animals and eat them. And I don't want to argue about this theory here.. period.

And I have told him never 'yuck' if his neighbour at school eats meat or other food that we don't eat. so the point of this thread is today he asked me 'why are we vegetarians'. I cannot tell him it's because of religion as that would start him off on a wrong intro to liberal Hinduism. And caste etc.,... not right now. I simply didn't know how to answer this question. because he asked me 'G eats meat does that mean he's bad'... so i realised i have been giving him wrong messages.

How do you, if you are a vegetarian and trying to keep your child too have the same belief, handle such questions? I don't believe in fabricating stories because my son is not that type. He'd be happy if i gave him proper, true answers. Okay let's roll the discussion...

Latha

Latha, the path to raising a child is strewn with such mines .
I was born a vegetarian, became a non-vegetarian and now am vegetarian by choice. My venture into eating meat was based on what you called liberal Hinduism... and my retreat to vegetarianism started with my shunning any animal product, mainly because of cruelty to animals.
DS is being raised an ovo vegetarian. The school only allows vegetarian food. So, when we go to restaurants and when DS wants those yummy looking skewered meat that's hung up for display, I talk to him about how we are raised (our cultural milieu.)
I tell him some people eat meat because it is a part of their daily diet and is a part of how they are raised. Others, like us, don't eat because we were not raised to eat meat. I am not suggesting you were judgmental, but keeping that tone out of this kind of conversations is very difficult.
The pitfall in this theroy is that he WILL ask why should I not be raised differently and eat meat. In my case, I am alright with it. vegetarianism or liberal Hinduism will be a choice he makes.

hmmm Latha,

Kids and their curious minds and our trials (wanted to say woes but i don't think of it that way..) of parenting...never ending i think...

Ok coming to vegetarian, I follow the same things as you say about never saying yuck when others eat, that we need to be tolerant and also that we are vegatarians by choice. Though we are not strictly vegetarians when we are using dairy products according to some of my non-vegetarian friends.

the reasons, I have given my children,

I love animals just like I love other fellow humans, so i feel that I should not kill or harm them.
I am able to replenish the food chain easily. I am using easy substitutes, that are found in abundance, and all the waste from these vegetables go back to the nature and i am helping in balancing the environment.. (DS being particular about nature, accepted the reason..)
It is a choice of living i have adapted, even a life saved because of me, gives me the satisfaction of having done a good deed, at the same time, we cannot condemn or ridicule somebody who eats meat because they would have their own reasoning for the same.
We also told them, that they can venture into non-veg if they feel comfortable and want to try it..they have not done it so far..

Just pitching in...

Latha,
I too don't want to get into controversies...But just as to answer your query.
You can tell your son that G's parents are probebly innocent and that they may not know killing animals and eating is a sin...you can also give him an example of the god that you worship at home . You can probebly tell him(for eg. if god Krishna) that Krishna doesn't like meat, we worship Krishna so we don't have to eat that...just to please him. You can say G worships another god at home who is ok to eating meat.
You can tell him that this is the way we are raised in our families, you can example him with the other children of the same community, not to add, religion or community to him, just say that like us they too don't eat meat.People who eat meat are ot bad , it is that they don't realise that they are not suppose to do so.You can tell him they will also stop eating meat the day they realise or thier parents teach them.

regards,
Kavitha.

Latha, I don't have any other answer than what most others have said, however here it is. I have to say that at this age (4-6) kids do not understand where meat comes from - so explaining that may not be the best of choices alone. When mine was 3 - 31/2yrs old, he was given a snack at school and he told them that he will not eat it if it is meat and added like a wise kid becos only pigs eat meat (my apologies everyone) - yes, you can imagine my embarrassment. It was not what I had taught him but his interpretation of "this little piggy went to the market......" and I didnot even know he had paid attention and tried to understand the rhyme and interpret it as well and an insight to the fact that I cannot just state something and assume he will just take it. This is an example of how explaining something is very important. So I know it is important to give explanation to a certain extent and you are right on track.

Right now, I feel the right way to say that would be it is not our background or culture. And when the question comes as to why he can't follow a different culture, say absolutely you can follow but when you are a big boy, say 16 or so............this definetly made my son feel he is going to get to make a decision and now he needs to listen to what I say and yes, when he older and is on his own, it absolutely is his decision. Thankfully he now clearly tells people that he doesnot eat because of our culture and if anyone asks him teasingly, he does say he will make a decision when he is older. Hope this helps.

This reminds me an incident that happened to me also. I took my daughter to my friends house for play. After playing for sometime, my friend asked me if she wants to eat anything. Immediately my DD asked her, "What's there for lunch??". She replied it was chicken or mutton briyani and boiled eggs etc etc. The first word that my DD spelled after hearing her menu was "Yuck". I was totally red. I didn't know how she came up with it though I have never used this term infront of her. All that I told her is we are vegetarians and don't eat meat. She also knows the fact that they cut an animal to prepare the food. It was probably something she might have pictured when I convinced her why we don't eat meat.

While coming back home, I was a challange for me to explain to her that its because of practise some people eat meat. I know her next question would be "why can't we do it???" but to my surprise she didn't ask me anything of that sort. She nodded her head as if she understood but was constantly in some thought. This is what I told her, that "In Old times people didn't know how to cook. They didn't have homes (this was taught in her school anyway). They didn't have proper clothes. They were all living in forests. So whenever they were feeling hungry they ate whatever they wanted. Some people ate the leaves, fruits and roots. Some went for hunting animals and ate. Everyone who followed the people who eat fruits, vegetables, roots became vegetarians and the people who followed hunters became meat eaters. But both are God's creations. So its not something you should feel bad about". So far there are no issues with her and she doesn't change her face or rather utter a word about eating meat. I hope she stays so. In circumstances, rather than telling some weird truth that kids can't follow, we have to create stories to make them understand.

In our home I'm a strict vegetarian (just milk only, no eggs, no cheese). She and my husband follows it very well till date, though at times they tease me.

-Uma

Hello all,

Being a Veg, Its really useful to read all the posts here, please do visit thread :

Vegetarian or Non-Vegetarian?

and give ur opinion.

Dear Latha,

There never seems to be an end to the troubles of a mom while trying to raise a good human being. Your little one seems to be a very alert and inquisitive young man, good for him.

You too are a thoughtful mother and I like it that you do not want to associate the word 'bad' with non-vegetarianism. If that were so, the world would be a very Big Bad Place.

Our friends here have given very good advice and I am sure, more will come this way.

It is important that we keep an open mind. True, we are what we eat. But then, bad comes in many forms and shapes and I wish it was restricted only to what we eat!

L, Kamla

Dear Advitha,

I came to read your reply here which has been nominated for the FP of the month by Custard and enjoyed reading it.

I am so glad that you have put so much thought into the matter and gave that very appealing reply to your little daughter.

It is so easy to say that veg is good and non-veg is bad. But that would be a big lie. If that were so, we would be living in a very dark world. Not all vegetarians are humanitarians or vice versa.

Food habits are formed because of the families and the cultures that one is born into. As one grows up, one can opt to be a vegetarian or non-veg, it is upto one's own preferences. Whether one is eating healthy depends on how we consume the food we choose. Deep fried sprout fritters in excess cannot be healthier than say, a poached fish.

What is most appealing about vegetarianism is that one does not kill animals to eat. But that does not stop the animals from being killed either.

I find being tolerant and doing what is right is the most important factor in life, never mind what one eats. We should not look down upon each other just because of the habits we follow, as long as these habits do not bear ill will to others.

All said and done, I am a vegetarian and love being one.

This reply has turned out to be longer than it was intended! Got carried away.

L, Kamla

Hello Kamla,

Well.... I enjoyed reading ur reply here......
Words are beautifully put in.....
The final note : "I am a vegetarian and love being one" made me jump with joy !!!