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How To Teach Children Discipline;

These days it seems, it is easier to have spoilt brats as children rather having well behaved disciplined ones. No matter how hard we try as parents, all are efforts go in vain.
The number of parents hoping to make their children more disciplined is becoming increasingly high.

If you are one such parent then perhaps you will have to look at completely changing your approach to discipline your child. Read on the following points and find out how.

• Instead of being strict and tough with him, try dealing him with softness. At the same time however, be assertive with him.
• Do not scold him all the time. In an attempt to be tough with children we often give them the impression that we do not love them. Show your affection and love to them more than you show your anger.
• Have an open and smooth communication with your child. Do not just concentrate on what you have to tell him but also be approachable to him and listen to what he has to say too.
• Remember that criticism does not help anybody. If anything it will only harm your child's self esteem. Rather than that, concentrate on positive methods of improving him.
• Do not compare him with other children in a negative manner. Instead, acknowledge what he does well and appreciate him.
• Set clear limits and be firm on them. Consistency is also important, once a rule forever a rule.
• Both the parents should be on the same page when it comes to discipline.
• Assertiveness and not aggressiveness should be your key. Silence rather than scolding is a better option.

In the end remember that there are some lessons only time and experience can teach them. Do not force and teach them such things, they will only learn it when they themselves go through it. Accept the fact and just be prepared to be there for your children when they go through any such learning experience and need you.

A little understanding of your child's psyche, love, support and a lot of patience can still change things and your unruly child can calm down and become the best one! Just reach out to him and try in a positive manner!

How To Communicate With Children:

The way we communicate with our children is extremely important as it plays a decisive role in building up their personality. We communicate not only through talking but also through our body language and looks. Our communication could be warm or cold, encouraging or discouraging and it leaves a huge affect our kids either in a positive manner or negatively.

These are ways in which you can have an effective communication with your child.

• Let your child feel absolute acceptance. Let him know that you accept him completely the way he is and love him for what he is. This will enhance his confidence and he will interact better with others. You can do this by a positive body language, appreciative looks and of course verbal motivation.
• Readily listen to your child and let him know that you're interested and want to know all about it. Keep the conversation going by asking him questions and being a part of it.
• Make it a point to address your child personally before telling him to do anything. Take his name and make sure he has taken you seriously and not just as somebody rattling off in the background.
• A very important key to effective communication is eye contact. Not just when you are giving him some command but at all times, even when he's narrating his playground experience to you, it is important to look into his eyes and talk.
• Use a polite language with kids. Using words like please, sorry, thank you etc will not only make them polite but will also make them feel important.
• Always use motivating words. Do not ever discourage your child by telling him that he is not good at something. Always tell him that you have absolute faith in his capabilities and know he can do wonderfully.

Communicating effectively with your child will make him perform better and try hard to achieve his goals. It will make him grow into a positive and matured person with the right approach towards life.

Communication With Adolescent Child:

Adolescence is perhaps the most critical phasein once life. The experiences, adjustments and compromises one has to make during this time can leave a life long impact on the child's life. It shall not be right to impose your own expectations on the child during this time and unnecessarily burden him.

It is a time of contradictions. Your adolescent child might at one time crib about being neglected and at others create a fuss about your over indulgence in his life. Contradictions happen at parent's end also at this age of their children. Sometimes they would ask them to behave like a responsible grown up and at others tell them to be out of certain things as they are not meant for kids. Due to being worried for their child's security also they might just resist his independence.

Generation gap is another reason for a communication gap between parents and adolescent children. It is not true that the difference of choices between parents and children would always be taken as a thing to rebel about by the kids. However, they would certainly see it as a change in tastes and time and would perceive their parents' choices as outdated. This may also include their values and morals. The only way out is to communicate with them effectively.


You can try the following to smoothen your communication with your adolescent child.

• Effective communication happens when both the people understand each other's point of view. Parents should be able to communicate their fears and concerns to their children and in turn try and understand their needs also.
• From parents' side their concerns should be communicated not as a compulsion but as an expectation which if the child would understand and choose to follow, would make the parent happy.
• If you are not satisfied with your child's company then try and talk to him about the harm that it is causing to him. Do not humiliate him by calling him a weak person or somebody who easily gets influenced by others.
• Try not to land up into unnecessary arguments. If a discussion is going no where and is turning into a heated debate, cut it then and there. You might want to start it later when it has cooled down and there is an appropriate cue.
• Do not always give in to your child's demands. Sometimes is good but do set limits and never cross them yourself. Make your expectations clear to your child and let him know what you would never agree to.
• Entrust in your child by showing confidence in him but make it clear that you are as much a parent to him as a friend.

Good communication, assertiveness and right dosage of friendliness would soon take care of most of the problems that you're facing with your adolescent child and you will have a smooth fun relationship to cherish!

How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry:

Isn't it painful to see two of your own children being jealous of each other? Don't you hate it when they fight because one of them is feeling that he is being treated not as good as his sibling is? It could be the worst nightmare of a parent and if not treated well in time, could grow up into a very big problem which could last a lifetime.

If you are a parent facing such kind of a problem, read on and act now.

• Recognize where and which one of your children is feeling left out and give him that extra blanket of security that he needs.
• Such kind of a feeling usually starts as soon as your second baby arrives. Since you need to spend more time with the new born, your elder child naturally gets into an insecurity of not getting enough time from you.
• Taking care of such a thing not happening should start even before you go to the hospital.
• Make sure you have left your elder child with somebody responsible who will not beforehand tell him things like after the new baby you will not have time for him and be busy with the younger one all the time.
• After you are home, make sure both of you take out time for your elder child and sit and talk with him too.
• Even when you are busy with the baby, do not ignore him. Give him importance if you see him around.
• Involve your child by making him understand that the younger baby is small and can not do anything on his own. He would therefore need all of your help, including your elder child also.
• Take his help in doing baby chores sometime as he will feel responsible enough to take care of his sibling and get close to him also.

Although see to it that you never leave two children alone and also do not over indulge your elder child in the younger ones work. It is fine if he wants to be there, if he does not and wants to play instead, then leave him alone. He might feel left out when everybody coming home gets a gift for the new one and nothing for him. At such a time you can keep some gifts from your side for him and make him feel equally important.

These were the things to do. The things that you should never do to avoid such a problem could be that you never compare both the children such as it leaves a negative impact on the other. Also, never, be partial between your children. Always have equal set of rules as equal expression of love for both of them.

Just take care that your behavior towards him does not change just because of the new child. You and only you can work towards making all your children feel equally secured and loved. If your elder child keeps getting such kind of security from both of you he will never feel left out and therefore never be jealous of his sibling.

Helping Your Child Cope With Fear:

Fear is a perfectly normal emotion. It can either be taken positively or negatively. A negative approach to fear would be by being scared and escaping from the problem. A positive approach however would make us confront our fear and work out a mechanism to work out a solution to the problem that is making us afraid. This is what needs to be taught to the children - to deal with their fears in a proper way.

Your child could be going through a lot of fears as a part of growing up. He could be afraid of anything - from nightmares to animals to illness to even losing the proximity to you that he enjoyed when he was younger, it could be anything.

A child's instant reaction to fear could be either ignoring it or coming to his parents for security. At this moment, how parents react or make them feel plays a very important role in their coping up with fear.

There is yet another thing to remember while dealing with a child's fear. You should not use his fear as an instrument to punish him. A lot of parents treat the police as a fearsome thing. For instance, they'll say- "If you don't stop making noise, the police will come and take you away". In this manner you're doing two way harm to the child. One, it is quite possible that he is already curious of the police and might be even scared of it as an unknown thing. You are not only re- enforcing that fear but also taking away the correct knowledge of police as a security and trustworthy thing from him

Parents should also remember to not obsessively force their own expectations on the child. Maybe you want your child to perform well in something and he might actually have a fear of it. Say, for instance swimming. By ignoring his fear and just pressurizing him to excel in it might have an absolutely contrary effect. He might start hating the sport all the more and worst still, for a lifetime. Therefore you should always try to know and understand your child's fear and not be indifferent to it.

It is extremely wrong to humiliate your child regarding his fear. There is no particular age to overcome any particular fear. It is not right to compare your child with some other kid and let him down. Rather than taking his fear as a normal thing which he can gradually overcome, he will always be ashamed of it and never be able to confront it.

The last and strict no - no is encouragement to fear by false imagination. For the purpose of mere entertainment, the family might get involved into fear provoking discussions or go for an occasional thriller or horror movie. If at the end of any such thing the kids are explained that this was purely for entertainment and has no relation to reality whatsoever, then it could be fine. However, if it is left at the child's disposal to imagine, then it will really harm his psychology badly.

Along with taking all these precautions, you as a parent can handle your child's fears by a positive approach. Giving him a sense of security through soothing words and your body language can go a long way. However, if you realize that pampering is not helping then you can be assertive with him and confront his fear along with him. He will soon learn to overpower them and his approach will become more reasonable.

How To Check Your Child's TV Time:

There is a censor board for the movies, which regulates what should and what shouldn't be shown to the viewers. It also decides which movies are suitable for the kids and which are not. However, what about the television? The most easily accessible mode of entertainment? Who checks on that? As parents, you must've definitely observed that television these days is becoming more explicit and harmful for the children. It remains totally on your discretion to check on what are your kids watching.

The first thing that helps the most is open communication between the parent and child. Instead of just forcing your children to obey your choice of TV programs and time for them, it would help more if you discuss their likes, dislikes and also what is good for them. Making them participate in what is right for them will make them feel responsible and also respect your mutual decision.

The other thing that should help is finding other recreational activities that you can share with your child. Spending time with your child in activities like cleaning up, working together in the kitchen or just going out with them will keep the away from TV and involve them in other things.

While watching TV, if you come across awkward programs or scenes, depicting sex drugs or violence, you can take them as an opportunity to discuss it with your child not only decide suitable viewing habits but also let them know how harmful certain things can be in real life also.

It is not so though that there should not be any rules at all. Being a parent it is also your duty to be a little strict with the child to teach him some discipline too. You can decide on the number of hours and what hours are allowed to kids to watch TV. You should also watch their favorite programs with them and later discuss how they have interpreted it with them in a normal, fun way.

In this way, you will not only regulate and know what your children are watching but also give them a good critical and analytical ability. He will be able to understand what he is watching better and you will also become a closer friend and confidante to him!

How To Have Fun With Kids:

Who doesn't look back at his childhood fondly? It is full of vivid, colorful memories for everybody. You as a parent can make this time for your child a lot more memorable. Simply by having lots of fun with him by doing a lot of enjoyable things. These things will not only make both of you have fun but also enhance his creativity and learning skills. You can do the following activities with your kids.

• If you have a fish tank at home have a painting competition with the theme of fish and put the winner's painting as the backdrop to the tank.
• You can have a fancy dress competition by assembling the old clothes of the house.
• Let their creativity bloom. Give them all sorts of paint colors and ask them to do finger painting on various objects.
• Give them some practical learning of science by making a soda volcano erupt. Make a small mound of mud, create a hole in its center and put 2 teaspoons of baking soda and vinegar in it.
• Have an obstacle race at home with different sizes of boxes to crawl through.
• Do things like watering the plants, feeding flour to ants etc with them.

You can think of similar such activities to spend time with your child. The idea is to just have fun and do new things. Look for activities that would interest your child. It will add on to his creativity and let him have a really fun time to remember.

How To Teach Kids To Handle Bully:

We meet all sorts of people in our lives - good and bad. The same thing happens with children. As soon as they set their foot out from the protective environment of home, they start interacting with all sorts of other kids. Some of them might not be too nice and targeting other (sometimes younger or milder) children with teasing and bullying might be a part of their play.

It would hurt you if your child becomes a target of such an act. More so, it would be very insulting and demeaning for your child too to go through such an experience. Therefore it becomes a necessity to prevent any such situation from arising.

It might be difficult for you but you need to hear the full story. Find out who was involved and what all happened. You also need to know how your child reacted and resisted to the bully. This will make you find out what kind of reaction did not help in stopping that person and what is required.

Teach your child to be assertive by using the right voice tone. He should learn to overcome his fear and speak up. He can ask direct questions to the bully why is he doing something that's so wrong or why would he unnecessarily want to hurt somebody else's feelings by saying mean things.

Many a times agreeing with the other person also makes him give up as nothing remains to fight about. If the bully teases your kid about something like his weight, he can respond normally by agreeing to it - " you are right, I am overweight?but then what?" Questions like these will stop the teaser as he will understand that your child is not getting affected by it at all.

Give your child the confidence to not get intimidated at any cost. If there's no way out, tell him just to ignore the bully flat. Pretend that he's invisible or that your child is just not interested in what he's saying.

Once the message is sent across to the bully that here is a kid who does not get upset or affected in any way he gets teased, the bully is sure to leave the child alone and walk out for good!

Teaching Kids To Eat:

Speak to any mother of a toddler and she would tell you that she is a victim of the monster problem of her kid not eating food properly. Singing, playing cajoling?nothing help. It only results in calories burnt by the poor mother and an ever more agitated child.

If you too are one who identifies with the problem, then try these methods to make your toddler eat. You will sure notice a change soon!

• Find out how his taste buds react. If he likes sweet then make his necessary nutritional intake complete by making two three different varieties of sweet tasting dishes that balance out the requirement.
• Add flavor to milk. If he likes carrots then boil some carrots in the milk. Make shakes of different fruits like apple, banana, mango or other milk dishes.
• Do not think that he is a kid and should eat whatever you give to him. Remember he has taste buds too and thus his own preferences. Sometimes, make him food of his choice too.
• Make him a part of family dinner. Let him sit with everybody and have his food. He will enjoy it more, feel important and eat like a responsible adult rather than throwing tantrums.
• Since an early age, let him taste a variety of foods so that he is open to any new taste.
• Before introducing him to junk food like chips and toffees, introduce him to healthy food and let things like roasted snacks, dry fruits etc be a part of his munchables.
• Make him rotis/breads in different shapes like birds, flowers, cats, his favourite fruit etc.
• Make colored rice by adding food colors. Put it in moulds of flower, stars, and other shapes and other shapes and then into your kids plate.
• Do not force large quantities on him. Give him small quantities and in a creative manner.

Try these simple things and he is sure going to love food and crave for more!

Teenage and Involvement In Household Work:

A household functions smoothly only when all its members contribute to the work. Loading only a single person with the entire responsibility will make him tire out very soon. Involve your kids in the housework by following ways:

• Make the cleaning time as much fun as possible. Music comes in very handy in making the environment pleasant and fun.
• Do not make the housework time boring by enforcing unnecessary discipline on them. Housework can be fun, if the kids want to do it dancing or singing, let them enjoy it.
• Work can also act as a fun way of learning basic things also. Like tell them to make pairs of the socks of same color or count the number of clothes to put into the laundry basket.
• Work along with your child and not just order him. It teaches them a lot of important lessons of life like teamwork, good leadership and ownership of work. Also, you can learn a lot about his way of working and together might come up with some great new ideas of doing the same old boring work.
• Teach the kids that by doing housework, they needn't become servants of the house. It is their own work. You can also exchange your chores with there's. If you clean up there room for them, exchange it with them doing something for you. Remember; do not ever give them a chore to do as a punishment. They will start hating it for ever.
• Give your child work that he is capable of doing. Making a task hard for him or not keeping in mind whether he will be able to do it or not is going to make things worse.

It is not a difficult thing to have an involvement of the entire family in the work. It is just the way you teach them to look at it. They can look at it as an unwanted task and hate it or they could see as an important responsibility which is fun to do.