Is 3 yrs ideal gap between kids

Dear friends

I am a happy mom to a 2yr old girl child , last week she turned 2 from tht day on my husband keeps telling tht we shd go for the 2nd child and 3 yrs is the ideal gap .
many reasons are pulling me down
1. will my first be possesive ( she is soo attached to me now )
2. still i am not out of fear of my first delivery
3. already i have taken 3 yrs gap in my career will be able to restart my career
4. my in laws are eagerly waiting for a baby boy


even i was in a thought like one child is enough but after reading some threads here i feel i shd go for the second child but shd i go for it now or can i postpone next child 2 or 3 yrs
still lots of confusion and stress please advise , waiting for some comforting words thanks priya

priya

Hi Priya,
Yes, three years is an ideal gap between kids.i know time just flyes away very fast.My kids have 31/2 years gap. My daughter is older than my 2month old son.but she take cares of her baby brother.When i was conceived with my son from then it self. we have been explain about the baby.She used to talk about the baby in her day care. When she first saw the baby in the hospital she was all excited. I think explaining the kid about the unborn baby makes them not to be possessive.

we have looked the chinese calendar before we planned our second one. Because we wanted a girl and boy.They say that chinese calendar is not 100% correct.But in our case it was correct for both my kids.

Hope this helps. Good luck

love
subba

Ultimately,the decision to have a second child is yours and the age gap should also be decided by you.Some feel 2 yrs gap is enough,some feel 3 is good,some feel 5 is good and so one.
Me and my sister are just 1 yr 3 mnths apart and we are thick friends.My sons are 5 yrs and 3 1/2 mnths apart.My eldest is turning 6 this Nov and my second one is completely 7 mnths on 15th Sep.Even though the age gap here is more,they are very close to each other.My elder one adores his small baby brother.Even if he shouts or shows his anger on any one else in the family,he never shows it on his brother.Sometimes,the small one hits or kicks him by mistake,but the older one just laughs it off and instead gives him a kiss!The younger fellow loves to watch whatever the elder one is doing and shows his excitement by trying to jump and smiling.Infact,if my younger one starts crying,the older one tries to comfort him and immediately he stops crying.
Like Subba said,always tell the elder one that the other one is a baby and that he loves you,then all will be fine,whatever the age gap.

Hi Priya,

this is my two cents:

There is nothing called an ideal gap - kids will get used to one another what ever the difference and most parents feel comfortable whatever gap they have for their kids. We as siblings had just a year or so gap but my kids have a difference of 4yrs. Now going by points ....

1. Your first one will be possessive - of the baby. It is unbelievable how kids bond and you can always reinforce that in your kids. I wouldn't worry about it.

2. This is something you should really work on - look at the whole thing in a new light.

3. This is a very imp decision and only you can make it - think about it properly and be honest and say if you can take break again, or if you want to leave the second one in day care...you need to work this out and be clear.

4. This is definetly a wrong reason to get pregnant - what if you have another girl? Are you and husband ok? So please don't get pregnant just with the hope that you want to have a boy.

There definetly is nothing to get stressed out about - just take it easy enjoy your first one and work your thoughts out and if you want another child - it should simply be for that reason. Good luck.

Originally Posted by lepriya

Dear friends

I am a happy mom to a 2yr old girl child , last week she turned 2 from tht day on my husband keeps telling tht we shd go for the 2nd child and 3 yrs is the ideal gap .
many reasons are pulling me down
1. will my first be possesive ( she is soo attached to me now )
2. still i am not out of fear of my first delivery
3. already i have taken 3 yrs gap in my career will be able to restart my career
4. my in laws are eagerly waiting for a baby boy


even i was in a thought like one child is enough but after reading some threads here i feel i shd go for the second child but shd i go for it now or can i postpone next child 2 or 3 yrs
still lots of confusion and stress please advise , waiting for some comforting words thanks priya

priya

Dear subba

Thanks for ur words
sorry for late reply

really i will be soo happy if both kids bonded well , one of our neighbour had a daughter when her son was 1.5 ys old , Her son was soo possessive and started hitting his sister and behaved so badly this was the reason behind my fear

now i have taken my decision to conceive ,may be 2 or 3 months later and now in weight losing mode to shed as weight as possible b4 next baby

I too checked out this chinese calender but have doubt in checking it
how did u checked it ? mother age +1 yrs ??

thanks
priya

Dear sunitha

Thanks for ur reply

I got ur tip , i was confusing seeing out neighbours kids
After all we have to teach and train our kids

I am planning to go for the next kid

bye
priya

Dear srama

Thanks for your reply

Atlast i got out of all this confusions and planned to go the next child
whether its boy or girl i am going to have it . may be after few months i will tell you some good news

thank you so much for ur supporting words


bye
priya

hi priya...

other frnds have given good info and tips.. all the best... here is the chinese calendar for pregnancy... even one of my frnd tried it worked for them... they just surfed thur the net only ...

Chinese Pregnancy Calendar this is one info... just go thru...

Dear vahee

Thanks for the info

I have already checked this chinese calender

but i have a doubt about selecting the row ( age )

in few it states "age of mother while giving birth" and in few (the link which u have send ) states just "age of the mother "


can u clarify this


thankyou
priya

Please don't rely on this calendar and wait only for a baby boy..what if even after all this,it turns out to be a girl..are you ready to accept her?

After I conceived 2nd time,I checked this calendar and it said girl,but I ended up with a cute baby boy...so this calendar is not accurate.