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Future Role of Grandparents

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by PadmaMohanKumar, Jan 24, 2016.

  1. PadmaMohanKumar

    PadmaMohanKumar New IL'ite

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    Grandma and Grandpa--- These two words conjure up a world of love and bonding. Who does not

    cherish childhood memories of grandpa’s tales or the mouthwatering goodies served by grandma?

    The arrival of a grandchild is an eagerly anticipated event. The grandparents lavish all love and care on

    the newborn, cheerfully spending sleepless nights in a row if the little one happens to fall ill. The other

    minor inconveniences would be laughed away. A not-so-agile grandparent can never hope to compete

    with a three-year old if the child decides to play catch-me-if-you-can during bath time. The elder’s

    attempts to scold will only be met with chortles of childish glee. This in turn becomes a source of

    amusement for the grandparent. Of course, it’s hard for a sixty-plus grandparent to run after toddlers

    but such playful interactions lead to a deep bonding between the two sides.

    Grandparents generally enjoy the role of playmates for their grandchildren. The happy laughter of the

    little ones stimulates them no end. Story time becomes a pleasure as it takes them back to their own

    childhood. They lavish all care and love on the little ones, providing them with a feeling of comfort and

    New Challenges for Grandparents

    However with the passage of time the scenario in countries like India has undergone a change. This

    article is an attempt to depict the role of Indian grandparents in a different situation. During the earlier

    decades it had been a given that, grandparents who stayed in the same home or even city, would look

    after the grandchildren, giving their sons/daughters the freedom to manage their professional lives so

    that they could reach the top of their careers. Even if they stayed in a different place, office goers could

    count on their parents to help out with the children.

    But now with the present generation of professionals working or even settling either in the States, the

    Gulf or in Europe, it has become difficult for grandparents to babysit for the grandchildren. The

    prohibitive cost of air travel is probably the least of the challenges that they may have to face. The very

    inconvenience of having to lock up their homes in order to spend a few months abroad with their

    children would make them hesitate. They would have to relocate to a different country and adjust to

    Elders who were hitherto used to a hectic social interaction back home look to their ever-busy children

    for all their entertainment. There would be no convenient form of transport if they want to step out.

    Hence they are forced to depend on their sons/daughters to return home to take them out. This is in

    contrast to the social life that they used to enjoy back home.

    Then, there are a few instances where the elders may not always have a happy interaction with their

    son-in-law/daughter-in-law. The latter may resent their bonds with the grandchildren. They may even

    feel that the grandparents are an undesirable influence on the little ones. This is a situation that the

    elders would be more than anxious to avoid even at the cost of depriving their grandchildren of their

    love and companionship.

    New Mindset of Grandparents

    However, there has lately been a change in the outlook of the senior generation. There have been

    instances of the elders feeling that after having done all they could to give their children a decent

    upbringing, they are entitled to enjoy the golden phase of their lives. They no longer feel obliged to go

    hop, skip and jump each time their children send them an SOS. “Let them sort out their parenting issues

    themselves, it’s their headache,” is their attitude. They prefer to spend time in indulging in their favorite

    Of course, viewed from a certain perspective, they could be right. They are entitled to lead their lives

    the way they wish rather than ending up as unpaid nannies or domestic helpers in their children’s

    homes. However, this attitude would have its own negative consequences. A major one would be the

    lack of bonding in the family. The grandchildren would grow up with a totally indifferent attitude

    towards their grandparents. This could be heartbreaking for the elders if they do live long enough to

    reach the super senior stage. Even if they are fit both mentally and physically at this stage, they would

    feel the need for emotional bonding with their children and grandchildren. Their contemporaries would

    have passed away leaving them feeling isolated. It is in such situations that they would realize that they

    had let go of a golden opportunity to build up a lasting relationship with the younger generations.

    The hobbies and other pleasurable pastimes that they had pursued earlier can never fulfill their need for

    love and security. Hence elders should do all they can to build up strong familial links even at the cost of

    some inconvenience to themselves. It is an emotional investment which would prove to be most

    enriching in the long run.
     
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  2. vani098

    vani098 IL Hall of Fame

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    U have made my day in remembrancebof my grand mother I love her a lot but she is no more.
    She use to care for me the way u said. Tq very much .
     
  3. PadmaMohanKumar

    PadmaMohanKumar New IL'ite

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    Thank you Vani for your kind reply. The bond between a grand parent and grandchild is very special and unique.
    Padma
     
  4. shobhamma

    shobhamma Gold IL'ite

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    It is not necessary to live together to have bonding with grandchildren.
     
  5. Harini73

    Harini73 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    What you said about grandparents taking care of their grandchildren before few years was correct and even I was bought up by my grandparents.

    Those days everybody was married at a early age.Hence they become grandparents also at a early age.So they had the energy and inclination to take care of the grand child.And as they were in joint family,their main responsibility would be to take care of the children.But now most of them are getting married between 25 years to 30 years.

    Hence they become grand parents by 60+ years.Also most of them are not in joint family.At 60+ we cannot except them to cook and run around a energetic child for more than 8 hours with out any support.

    Hence we need to make sure that we spend quality time and we should also make grand parents spend quality time with the children.

    Bonding between Grandparents and children is very unique and we need make sure that our children are getting that experience by supporting our parents.


     
  6. PadmaMohanKumar

    PadmaMohanKumar New IL'ite

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    You are right. It would be very helpful if working parents could arrange for a nanny for the little ones so that grandparents can enjoy their grandchildren without undergoing the strain.
     
  7. PadmaMohanKumar

    PadmaMohanKumar New IL'ite

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    Yes especially in this day and age when facilities like mobile and skype make the distances seem insignificant. We can now bond with our grandchildren even across the seven seas.
     

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