Second Kid

rajisarvan · Oct 7, 2015

Hi,

I wanted to vent my feelings here. Pls advices needed very much.
I was married in 2007.and conceived in feb 2011 thr folicular study and tablets. I know the pain of trying to conceive very much in all means..

Baby Boy Delivered in oct 2011

Now I wanted always to have a second kid, but felt to have only first kid is old enough. I think I made a mistake in that... So was bit cautious while having sex.

In 2014 April again i conceived naturally ( totaly unplanned).. I was not knowing whether to be happy or sad. Becos My kid was only 2.5 yrs old that time so actually i would feel guilty when i see him Sonno this was my feeling at that time. Now i regret for it.
And i was workin and my mothr was taking care of my first son itself
so i felt it will be too much burden for her to again take care another baby so early. But main concern was my child. So always i used to think i conceived so early. Biggest mistake in my life . The pregnancy got aborted naturally in 45 days.. I always felt guilty becos of this as i tht i dont want the baby, it went away
Now feeling very depressed. i wanted a baby now and now i feel that would be the crt age differance. and my son is now 4 yrs, so i feel now teh age difference wil be too much. But i cant conceive for another 1 .2 yrs. My hubby has gone on an prt assigmment to abroad. This is itching me. I feel very sad abou t this always.
1 st thing donno when i can conceive afte 1.2 yrs, how long will it take ?
second the age difference will be too long for my both kids.
3 rd thing not sure whether i will conceive again or not ..
I feel that as i felt that i dont want teh baby at that time it went away and that was my biggest blunder.
My hubby came for a vacation of 2 weeks in sept. the chances of fertile days were very less.
so am waiting if i can become preganant thi stime. sep 13 was my last period date.

The chances r very less and i feel already periods pain..
Now i feel very guilty as days pass. feeling very sad about this allways

chandrakiran · Oct 7, 2015

I completely understand your situation. It is always a dilemma whether to go for second child or not, whether we can handle child-care support & manage etc.
I know of couples who have two children with 5-6 years age difference, and they are doing perfectly fine. Op, your post doesn't mention your age, if you still have time, you can still manage two with a slightly larger bigger age difference and plan to conceive once your DH is back in town.
But take a calculated decision as you should be able to bring them up with all energy and enthusiasm. It depends on your age, and keep a cut off age beyond which you wouldn't want to still try conceiving.

rajisarvan · Oct 7, 2015

Thnx a lot. I am right now 32 yrs old. Thank you for replying. I tht i wil be getting scoldings only for feeling I badly wanted a second one . I always think that it will be teh greatest support for my first kid.
Even i am ready to take a brk for 1 yr to manage teh second one.. All i can plan only after atleast I am conceived . But i started thinking only about this now adays
Its fully in my mind. Donno Y . this is actualy painful.

rcvmegas · Oct 7, 2015

Dear OP,
These days I am seeing lot of people having kids with 5-6 years of age gap. Its all in your mind....we dont have to be carried away by others judgement. As Chandrakiran mentioned, you should be well prepared to take care of both the kids since you are also working. Get your body prepared for the second pregnancy, eat healthy and take good sleep. Our parents will be at our help always, don't worry all mothers would be happy to tc of their grandkids. My best wishes..

chandrakiran · Oct 7, 2015

Yes, I too felt the same and went ahead with second child, and am happy that I took that decision, although i do have a gap of 5 years between them, which is a little big gap. Ideal gap is 2-3 years, but not every one gets to live ideal lives.!

So you can try until you complete 35 years. Beyond that don't try, for your health and the child's.