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Shy toddler !

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by flysauc, Jun 16, 2014.

  1. flysauc

    flysauc Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all ,

    my my daughter is 3.5 yrs old, usually she is a very very active child bubbling with fun and energy. But she is very shy in front of people outside immediate family , she will just withdraw herself and will be very quite and even will not utter a word.

    People complain esp eps my parents that she doesn't talk to them and hides her face, I try encouraging her but she doesn't even utter a word . I usually skype with my parents and siblings back in India and they tell me that I am not encouraging her which will result in she not recognizing her relatives.

    Please help in how to encourage kids to be more open and proactive ?
     
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  2. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    You are expecting a 3.5 year old to talk to your parents on skype? Don't you think this is far fetched to worry about it.

    Don't worry about it. Everyone is different. In this day and age, particularly with internet, people spread all kinds of mis-information.

    Think about how out going kids were while we were growing up.

    Today, everyone lives in far off places, with no people contact, yet we want kids to adopt to all kinds of situations. Give them freedom to be whoever they are and they will turn fine.

    Don't force them or push them against their wishes. Actively seek real life interactions and activities if you want them to improve in certain areas.
     
  3. nikitamjain

    nikitamjain Silver IL'ite

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    I think u just need to give some space to your child and she will open up on her own. Just continue your skype talks, conversations with relatives, etc without paying attention to her and let her Just observe. As time passes she will soon realize how much importance any given relative holds and she will adapt to it.
     
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  4. DrPreetha

    DrPreetha Gold IL'ite

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    Flysauc!Every child is different. This is with majority toddlers living abroad.Even my son refuses v- chat.We don't force him too much as may be they would feel like addressing audience!!! But regarding recognizing close relatives was not at all difficult with him.We show him our parents and other close ones of family photos almost everyday and ask him who they are for him,he tells them and claps himself! By this he did not feel any distance even when he 1st saw them.Train her mingle with all ages,gradually she would get used to.Don't worry as she is otherwise active.
     
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  5. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    I don't think you should be much concerned about Skype chatting if your child interact with others in neighborhood or real living. My DD is very social and loves to play with everyone but she never talks to any one in phone/Skype , I should say she hate coming in Skype other than for my nephews that too for few minutes..
    If she doesn't play/interact with others, hide her face etc in social gathering then you definatly need to encourage her. I had a friend whose DD was too good in Skype chatting, talking to family but was never interacting with other kids. She was too shy even for her age group kids. Once she started school it took her long time to get adjusted. For her reason was no interaction other than parents. She was always with her parents, no third person. Though she wanted to play with kids but she was very shy to go and say hi to other kids. Now she is 8 year old and started becoming social after her mom's huge effort.

    Please analyze your kids social interaction and act accordingly.
     
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  6. flysauc

    flysauc Gold IL'ite

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    FromMars,

    you got me wrong , I am not here expecting her to talk to my relatives, but to find out how can I encourage her to talk to people outside her close family . Anyway thanks for your Input .
     
  7. flysauc

    flysauc Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks nikita , yeah I will just let her be meanwhile keep my interaction going so she will catch up soon.
     
  8. flysauc

    flysauc Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks preetha, I was just little concerned that maybe nuclear family and being far away from family is making her behave this way . Though I observe she is more shy with elder people than kids of her ages . I loved your input of showing family pictures and making them more involved .

    Thanks for your input .
     
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  9. flysauc

    flysauc Gold IL'ite

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    Priya, it's good to know the other side of a coin, yeah I will keep encouraging her and let her be comfortable in her own way .

    Thanks for your input .
     
  10. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Role play! Role play!

    My DD (3yr) has bouts of shyness and boldness - sometimes she refuses to leave a shop because she wants to chat with the guy at the till and sometimes she hides her face even from her dad when he returns home from work.

    I try to do quite a bit of role play with her to prepare her for where we are going or who we are talking to. Also about what to speak to people when we meet them. For instance I try to chat about the weather or what she did or where she went. I pretend to be her preschool teacher and ask her questions; she gets to pretend to be my mum and talk from behind her laptop while I pretend to be my dd. I pick times when she is fresh and playful and receptive. We also stand in front if the mirror sometimes trying to talk to the reflection.

    As for video chats, I remind her when the phone rings that the polite thing to do is say "hello" and exchange pleasantries. After that, I let her be; turn on the back camera I'd the people on the other end want to see what she is doing.

    We do have blips. She does act up but I am keen that she exchanges pleasantries with people she meets. Of course the new neighbours only get a pointed stare and an embarrassing question directed at me "oh no! he is saying hello. isn't he a stranger, mummy?"

    Perhaps role play will help.
     
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