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Options for childless couples

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by aamrapali, Jun 16, 2014.

  1. Jun 16, 2014 #1
    aamrapali

    aamrapali Gold IL'ite

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    This thread is not about Trying-to-Conceive or Adoption. Neither is this about enjoying life without kids in terms of travel, hobbies, careers, etc.

    What are the options for childless couples to invest in long-term sustaining relationships? When I see couples with kids versus with no kids, I think the most significant difference is you ALWAYS have someone in your life to care about you, call you, share with you, think about you until death (in addition to your spouse that is).

    My question is also focusing on average middle class couples who have ordinary simple (you can call mundane) lives and not big achievers with a zillion friends, contacts, network, social support system. An ordinary middle class couple who work, cook, eat, watch tv, sleep, wake up, work, cook, eat...............

    Parents, siblings, in-laws, extended family all have their own kids, jobs, lives and move on and really don't constitute a "life-long relationship" even in the most well-knit families (I think).

    One can donate for orphans or sponsor education for a kid - but I think it is anonymous and not really a long-term "relationship" you have with these kids. In the sense, they do not call you, write to you, or visit you or go out with you.

    I am really interested in knowing options for such couples.
     
    aamrapali, Jun 16, 2014
    aamrapali, Jun 16, 2014
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    3 people like this.
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  2. Jun 16, 2014 #2
    ammulur

    ammulur Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Aamarapali,

    According to me one can go for adoption of an orphan child or legally adopt less fortune child in the known circle..........!
     
    ammulur, Jun 16, 2014
    ammulur, Jun 16, 2014
    #2
  3. Jun 16, 2014 #3
    aamrapali

    aamrapali Gold IL'ite

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    One other option I have observed among christians abroad is the concept of god parents for a niece or nephew. I don't think our culture understands or accepts that. If aunts and uncles take too much interest in their nieces and nephews I think it can create problems down the road and jealousies and such.
     
    aamrapali, Jun 16, 2014
    aamrapali, Jun 16, 2014
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  4. Jun 16, 2014 #4
    aabcii

    aabcii Gold IL'ite

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    is the law of adoption is hectic in india
     
    aabcii, Jun 16, 2014
    aabcii, Jun 16, 2014
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  5. Jun 16, 2014 #5
    god2014

    god2014 Gold IL'ite

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    Yes nothing best than adoption. Though we may donate feed buy clothes etc. They are still parent less children who don't know what mom and dad means. The life we give them by taking to our home is worth countless times than giving birth to a baby. If your baby is loving you affectionate on you cares you, no wonder at all its your blood. When your adopted kids show the same its truly a different one, its like god bestowing his love on you. No orphan at all, all children born on this earth would be somebody's kids
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2014
    god2014, Jun 16, 2014
    god2014, Jun 16, 2014
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  6. Jun 20, 2014 #6
    pantu

    pantu Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, adoption is better than donating goods. By adoption you are giving a child food ,cloth and most importantly love.
     
    pantu, Jun 20, 2014
    pantu, Jun 20, 2014
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  7. Sep 22, 2014 #7
    Grihani

    Grihani Gold IL'ite

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    Do not expect the generation next to be like we are to our parents. They are all extremely independent, and most would probably move out when they are 18, and would not believe in living with parents, especially once they have their own families.

    The parents with kids too will have to think of their social life, and the way to spend their retired life without having to see their kids till a Deepavali, Christmas or Thanksgiving happens.

    Yours is a good question, but childless couples will only be thinking about how to take care of themselves when old, which in fact even those with kids should be thinking about as they cant depend on their kids..
     
    Grihani, Sep 22, 2014
    Grihani, Sep 22, 2014
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  8. Sep 22, 2014 #8
    KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi OP,
    you said thread is not about adoption or trying conceiving. If kids are not there ,other than ur husband, the next closest is only your parents, who can't walk with you till end.

    Do you want to try and see foster parenting? How it works for you?
    Do you have any long term, time tested, same town friends?
    do you want to see surrogacy egg/sperm/embryo donor thing works for you?

    but I don't know how I handle in my old age but now I am thinking being related to some spiritual ashram in my old age. Can you think about those lines.?

    hi grihani,
    i agree with your post, but small thing, being independent and leaving home at 18 doesn't mean the girl/boy doesn't love or care for parents. I understand in what context you said this.
     
    KashmirFlower, Sep 22, 2014
    KashmirFlower, Sep 22, 2014
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    1 person likes this.

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