Is it ok to let kids watch bollywood item songs?

hridhaya · Aug 27, 2013

Would like to hear your opinion on this.

DH and I enrolled our DD (5.5 years) in bollywood dance class as she likes dancing.
Off late, she is addicted to watching / dancing movie songs. for eg, she goes on humming/dancing "fevicol se" song so many times in a day.
She even wanted to dress up like the dancers in the song for which I told her such songs are not suited for her age.

yesterday DH shouted at her because she has been constantly watching the song and later I intervened and told him to explain it to her.
He then showed her some western dance clips and told her to watch them rather than dances by poorly dressed women with no good dance steps.
After a while, I asked her what she understood she said those songs are bad because the ladies were not dressed well.
I tried to explain a bit further saying there are better dances that what she was watching. Don't know if she got the message.

Do you allow your kids to watch item songs? I personally feel they are nothing but vulgar and am not comfortable when my kid watches it. Any tips to make the kid understand?
How to stop kids from getting addicted to something? for instance, she is more interested in movie songs now than watching cartoons.

Dinny · Aug 27, 2013

Hridhaya
I am not surprised.....
Honestly speaking there are times when i have switched the channels when an item song like "sheela ki jawani" is shown.
The content they show might not be as vulgar but some of the catchy words are really vulgar.And kids might sing them without understanding.
I am just as confused as you.

Shanvy · Aug 27, 2013

Aww hridaya dear,

you put her in a bollywood dance class and what did you expect, shantaram and sandya style dance... seriously hip hop, catchy beats are in and you cannot do anything. if you ask the instructor, he/she would say that children and parents ask for these numbers.

if you are so particular or feeling uneasy switch to classical dancing.

be it any language, double meaning, sleazy, and vulgarity sells and so does item numbers..

i know kids who dance for daddy mummy veetla illa, thadai poda yaarum illa..(it means daddy and mummy are not at home, nobody is here to restrict us.) i give a strict no for these dance..reason being not just crossing the line of vulgarity, but the repetition of these songs could invariably make them think differently afterall children learn watching,hearing and emulating..

Srama · Aug 27, 2013

Hridaya,

personally I feel as parents we must take care to expose our kids to age appropriate material. It applies to music and dance also. So it is a good idea perhaps to send her to some fusion dance classes if she is or you are not interested in classical dance. The music seems to be catchy with some/most bollywood music and I am sure she does not understand much, not even the dressing part, just that she might begin to believe that is all normal.

You can of course slowly try to wean her away from the material you don't want to expose her perhaps by introducing her to other activities for now and trying to eliminate TV mostly. Then after a few months, you can of course re introduce with cartoons. We as parents constantly do that, not watching certain TV programs etc. I am sure she will get over it sooner than you realize.

Rakhii · Aug 27, 2013

Oh honey, if you dont want her to like those kind of Bollywood songs, then your best bet is Ballet/Bharatnatyam types. You will only confuse her if you let her in Bollywood dance class and prohibit that kind of dressing. Just my persona opinion.

coolwinds · Aug 27, 2013

no, i don't let my kids watch bollywood item songs. they are derogatory and offensive. children might not understand what it means exactly but the message is internalized over time. the term item itself in context of such numbers is to objectify women. our moral brigade is busy pointing fingers at women and victim blaming. but everyday in their living rooms they watch these numbers, let their children sing them and reinforce a dangerous subliminal message about women.

Mahajanpragati · Aug 28, 2013

i have a no TV ban in house on weekdays & let kids listen to radio.
so they know the lyrics of many songs but not the dance sequences or so on.here in SA radio we get to hear all language mixed songs ,so my kids end up singing some other lanuage songs too like now days my 5 yr old sing 'Maar Kuttiyee........(we are northies & I think Kutti means girl but am not sure)

recently,they saw 'Ya jawani..........'movie with me & were surprised with the clothes Deepika was wearing for one of the dance numbers.I told them when actresses dance ,they sweat a lot so they wear less clothes........ha ha

hridhaya · Aug 28, 2013

I thank everyone for responding to the thread.

I was in two minds since I started observing my DD and did not know where it was heading. Now I realize that I am better off sticking to my beliefs rather than feeling sorry later. We have decided to talk our DD out of bollywood dance and consider other forms of dance or yoga. I am also thinking to compile a list of songs & videos which she can use to dance at home whenever she wants.

Shanvy,
I didn't look at bollywood classes for a long time but somewhere down the line I got the feeling it is ok to send her(might be her friends joining the class??).

Its my wish that you should become a parenting author Love your writings.

Srama,
You said it perfectly. I loosened the grip a bit and let things happen as per her wish for a while. Seems like we need to keep adjusting the degree of freedom we give to our kids (tough job to do). DH and I do not watch TV or go to movies. Instead we prefer sitcoms that can be watched as a family. Hence she was not exposed to movies until she joined the dance. Many kids of her age know all latest movies/actors/actresses. I wonder how some parents take their kids to mainstream movies.
yes, I will make sure she watches less TV and divert her. Thanks for the reply.

Rakhii,
yes, pulling her out makes sense as of now. I think the objective of enrolling her is sidestepped. Thanks for dropping by.

Coolwinds,
your point is so valid. In fact, I didn't even think in that perspective. I will be more alert here onwards.

pragati,
I am glad you brought up TV ban. Combating TV time is another battle going on. since her school is just for half a day, she watches more TV during the day when I am at work.
How do you resist the pressure from kids if they want to watch during the weekdays? how long have you been enforcing this?I think it is a very good move because they need more time to study as they grow up.

Nice joke that was lol

Thanks again...I was losing direction, your responses helped me.

Mahajanpragati · Aug 29, 2013

H,

its nice to see that you are taking steps to educate your daughter better ...........personally,i would have talked to the Bollywood dance classes people & asked them to teach the child age appropriate dance moves & use such songs.after all yours won't be the only 5-6 yr old who comes to learn dance.

as for TV ban I put it last year but I talked to both my kids & put my point of view like if you see TV there is less time to play outside or you will miss having fun with your friends or when will you ride bikes in estate so on.............
when my younger one comes back from school at 12.45 pm I play with him,give him lunch & put him to sleep.
by the time his big brother comes from school at 3 pm they both are ready to play with each other & there friends.the schools here has no HW policy so they usually have no school work to do but I try to keep them busy in other activities like walking with me in evening,helping to set there book shelves & so on.but as I am SAHM it is easier to keep eye on them & keep them busy by suggesting activities myself .

as to you as you are working I suggest you try to make her take afternoon naps(my younger son is 5 yrs old)...........and tell her what you want her to do before you come back from office like 1 page of colouring or make zoo with all plastic animals she has or car park with her car collection or pick up clothes from outside.

you have to think about activities to keep her busy & make a note of them so that if you call her from office you can remind her about the activity she had to finish.

hridhaya · Aug 30, 2013

Hi Pragati,

Dance class is conducted for mixed aged groups and as such the instructor does not let them dance for the item songs. Kids dance for the latest hit songs in the class but it sort of provides way for DD to know other songs also (for eg, via youtube). She is getting exposed to movies which I think is unnecessary for her age.
My DH wants songs from Taal movie or "Chaiya Chaiya" to be taught but I don't know if the instructor would accept such proposal.

you can given good ideas for the activities. Since I am not at home and DD is with her grandfather, it is tough to discipline her (yet I am thinking about it). On days I am home, she has some routine. Let me enforce a time limit on TV for some time. Actually we don't have cable connection at home but there is youtube on TV. She used to watch different programs but off late there is a digress. May be if I talk to her, she will understand.

Appreciate your reply a lot. Thanks