Anti Brahminism

DEAR ALL,
IAM SORRY TO DISCUSS ABT THIS..BUT I WANT TO SHARE MY FEELINGS THATZ ALL,AS THIS IS ONLY SITE IN WHICH I CAN DISCUSS & SHARE MY FEELINGS..
HERE IN UK IAM FEELING VERY BORE,EVEN THOUGH LOTS OF INDIANS R HERE.
ONLY 2 TAMILIANS R HERE..SO I WANT TO MAKE FRIENDSHIP WITH THEM,SO IWENT TO HER HOUSE & SPOKE WITH HER...INITIALLY SHE SPOKE WITH ME FRIENDLY,LATER WITH MY LANGUAGE,SHE GOT TO KNOW IAM BRAHMIN,AFTER SHE STARTED TEASING ME ALSO TELLING ME THE JOKES ABOUT BRAHMINS & JOKES WHICH WILL COMES IN FILMS & food habbits,,WHY THIS SUDDEN CHANGE OF HER???
ITZ NOT MY FAULT AS I BORN AS BRAHMIN OR FOR MY LANGUAGE,EACH & EVERYBODY WILL HAVE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES & WAY OF SPEAKING...
EVERYTIME WHEN SHE MEETS ME IN SHOP SHE'LL START TEASING ME,ALSO SHE TOLD THIS TO HER FRIENDS ALSO,SO EVERYBODY IS TEASING ME OR THEY NOT EVEN TALKING WITH ME...IS THIS GOOD BEHAVIOUR OR GOOD MANNERS???? SHE IS ONE WHO SCOLD INDIA VERY MUCHABOUT GOVERNMENT & CLEANINESS IN INDIA,SO I TOLD HER PLS DON'T COMPARE INDIA WITH THIS COUNTRY,AS INDIA IS THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN THIS COUNTRY,I THINK MAY BE THAT REASON ALSO FOR HER TO START HATING ME..
ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME IN THIS???????
I KNOW THIS WILL BE HURT OTHERS IN IL,BUT IAM SORRY I WANT TO SHARE MY FEELINGS WITH U ALL WHICH HURTS ME BAD..
WE WILL GIVE COMMANDS ABT OTHERS WHEN THEY NOT AROUND US,BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH I FEEL..IF SHE GETS HAPPY BY TEASING ME,LET HER BE HAPPY ...

My dear,dear Viji,

Please do not take all this personally. We Indians (I am speaking very generally, do not have any one person or community in mind) have a different sense of humour. We say Sardarji jokes, Gujju jokes etc. It is not meant to hurt them specifically.

I know that it is different when you are teased one on one, rather than in a movie. But ignore your neighbour's words, taunts. She is reacting in her own way. Please do not generalise this as being against a whole community.

I have lived in London, where in spite of all the Indiannes around, we still feel alienated. You will get over that soon. Make other friends. Try telling your friend openly that her remarks are hurting you. Tell her politely, do not stoop to her level. If she makes the comments in public, please ask her softly not to do so. If she persists, ignore her.

I know this is easy to say and difficult to live by. If it is any consolation, I have been thru all this and still go thru this now. My 'friend' always scoffs me when we go for a dinner and I ask for vegetarian. She tries to push me to keep her mince beef in my freezer. If I refuse, she publicly calls me names. I tried telling her gently, strongly,rudely-nothing worked. I can stoop to her level and offer her bush meat. But who is that hurting? It only showing myself to be without grace and sensitivity.

Ignore these people. Leave them and their actions to God. I will not ask you to bless them or curse them, just ignore them.

love
Vidya

hello vidhya,
thanx for ur reply,s,ignored the person...as i want to gain friends not enemies..
iam sure i'll get more friends...

Dear Vivbass,

I felt sorry to know your plight. And I pity that lady who not recognising the common country of origin teased you because you were a brahmin.

My suggestion is that you should not assume from now on that all non-Brahmins are anti-Brahmins.

Brahmins are a minority here in India. So they are teased against. But if we are to return hatred with hatred then we will be failing as human-beings.

So my practical advice to you is stay as far away from that lady as possible. And dont go on looking for Indians to make friends with. Meet an English lady and try to befriend her.

All the best,
sridhar

Dear Viji

My comments on this from a different angle:

I am a non-vegetarian Keralite Nair.I am married to a Tamil Iyengar.Can you see what the problem is already?

Well,my FIL made it a point to tell me after my marriage that I should immediately stop eating non-veg.They even made me go thru' a ritual ,I don't remember the name of that now,where the image of Lord Vishnu's shangu and chakra are 'stamped' on the upper arms.By stamping ,I mean this-there is an iron block with the symbol which is shown over fire and that is stamped on the upper arms.It is quite painful.I went thru' it silently.My parents were furious when they heard this,but I asked them to keep quiet.Right after,my fil said you should stop non-veg.I am not a very avid non-vegetarian,I can be without non-veg food,it really does not matter to me.But this way of drilling it into my head only irritated me further.He went to the extent of saying that all meat eaters are dumb people,they don't have brains.

Before my marriage,I never used to think anything about this Brahmin-non Brahmin divide.Now,because of all this,I have also developed a dislike to some extent...but I don't show it out.It is all bottled up within me because I just can't do anything about it anyway.

Dear Sunthia,

I am sorry that you had to go thru that pain. But isn't this the 21st century. I can't believe you were put thru that ritual by your inlaws... in this day and age.

Love,
Jothi.

Dear Vivbass,

Sorry about your situation here. My best friends are Brahmins. I know a thing or two about brahmins. I agree with Varalotti and Vidya. You have to let her know how you feel and say good riddance to her. She is not worth your effort to befriend her.

Love,
Jothi.

Dear Vivbass,

I agree with everyone here that you should just ignore her. Seems like she is a very mean-minded and confused person and she is not fit to be your friend....why should anyone from any community degrade the other? We are all human beings and we have every right to live the way we want. I too hate people who start saying bad things about India like corruption, politics etc. We have our problems but we all are still Indians....just going to a different country does not make us any superior....we will still be same as we were.

Next time you meet her...I think you too should mention casually (like how she does to you) that you can sue her for harassment or something like that since you are in an advanced country and not India, and see what her reaction is? That might shut her mouth.

Good luck!
Sihi

Originally Posted by jothi

Dear Sunthia,

I am sorry that you had to go thru that pain. But isn't this the 21st century. I can't believe you were put thru that ritual by your inlaws... in this day and age.

Love,
Jothi.

It is the 21st century for you and me but not for them.Infact,most people in their own caste have done away with that ritual.In my case,it was only to prove to the outside world that their DIL has become a complete Brahmin-by hurting the DIL physically and mentally. Anyway,I am trying to forget all that ..that is the only way I can be peaceful.

Hi Viji,
I had the same experience from a friend when I was in college. All my friends were Namboodiri and Nair girls at that time. Only two or three were vegetarians. This girl used to tease as your friend done, and I mentally separated from her because of this. All other friends were very nice and we respected each other. As others say, just ignore her.

Sunitha, really, felt very sad reading your post. I have noticed from your posts, you are very candid and brave character, still you suffered this. Why didn't you oppose them?