Feel so used right now...

Soni

Its very natural for any woman to feel this low, but remember those hurtful words he said and you have to develop some self control. If you want to treat some stub born disease what would you do,, they use chemo therapy, strong medicines, nutritious food etc...this is also like that ..think that you are curing the disease of your husband..i.e his behaviour.

Everytime it hurts you, switch on nice romantic music, sing away...initially its gonna be tough, but remember this..do you want to be treated like trash every day??? is that ok with you to use your body and then dump you like you are nothing? that too by your own husband? NO...that hurts more than what you are going through now...

See the brightside of it. You are growing up mentally. You are practising self control. You have a husband however you are working on betterment of your marriage so that this short span of pain would give you lot of happiness , if there are changes in him...isnt it??

Isnt this short span of hurt, pain worth of life long happiness? We women tend to push things and want everything at the blink of an eye..thats the reason for our unhappiness. Everything has its own time and place. change needs lot of time both for you and for him.

Cook and eat nice food. Make some wonderful desserts. SEe our IL forum for recipes. Practise those recipes cook something new everyday. Make a time table for yourself...study for an hour or two..now that you are going to have a PT job, be busy with that. Give your best..who knows it might turn out to be a FT even if not..the references would always help for future job isnt it?
Also...have you ever tried gardening???? just start in a small way...get some soil, seeds, pots and plant your fav. flowers or veggies..takes away lot of time and its good exercise for mind and body

STOP trying to fix everything at one go..Give time..Time heals lots of things and also mends people. GIVE TIME and this is the time for you to give time to your relationship. If you push hard, you might not even be with him...what if it becomes more unbearable and you have to separate??? you cant even see his face or see him in the house...so think of the other side and be happy with what you have...

Get your son dressed, take him for a nice walk...take pics..do some needle or knitting work ..take up some hobby classes..Totally divert your mind...for atleast a month..one month..can you do that??? 30 days!!! with out you crying/worrying/wanting to go back to him/ just be normal self, happy, taking care of yourself, and your kid, cooking tasty food and working on your job! can you do that???

 

dear soni

i too suggest u 2 ignore him n concentrate on u n ur child........ listen 2 good music and try 2 dance atleast 4 a song in a day.............its a good exercise also relaxation 2 mind..........2 reduce ur tummy aerobics really helps..........try it out

 

Soni

In other thread you said if you divorce your husband, he would surely get married again. So cant you get married again if you happen to separate from him?

I know this discussion of divorce and separation sounds quite annoying and its not easy also there is lot of emotional attachment involved here.

But thats what I was warning you about, if some X no. of years of being with this man made you so attached to him , how about down the line??

Is this not one type of cheating if you dream about actors and sleep with them in your dreams? Is this not a type of cheating if you want to be with a man, but that man is not the husband you are living with? Think about it.

Anyways, I was thinking how about you going to a therapist for couple of sessions? might be talking it out clearly to a certified specialist might help

 

Is it possible for you to take a break or holiday and go to a diff. city to a friends/relatives place? atleast for couple of days...with your kid.

I want to understand what would be your husbands reaction at that time. Would he call to atleast see how you are doing? or wouldhe ignore thinking you are the one who went for vacation and as you are enjoying he would be more angry.is this the behaviour going to be?

Soni I am not telling you to go for divorce..NO. but there should be some seirous steps which would give both of you that jolt to understand where are you both standing in your marriage. there were some of our Ilites who are 40+ yrs old who posted that inspite of 15 or 20 yrs of their marriage still the husband treats them this way...so tell me is that all worth???

Your husband clearly understands that you wont leave him and that you wont take serious steps. thats the reason why he has this indifferent behaviour. If you think its easy to get married again for him...i am sorry to say NO...its not that easy even for a man/woman to get second marriage...it takes lot of time and preparation.