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I think my husband is not who I thought he was....

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by asuitablegirl, Feb 8, 2010.

  1. hamsa23

    hamsa23 Senior IL'ite

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    ASM,
    M really happy for u M following ur posts and Felt sad when u opened a thread reg your prob, I really donno what to say and became a silent reader, after going through all the posts , hats off to ur courage and ur confront is great. take care dear be careful in every step , this may be beginning Ur IL may plan something if not this, Never loose courage, faith and confidence in any part of life,
    take care dear
     
  2. SR09

    SR09 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi, As I told in my earlier posts, whatever your faith is please go and consult a priest of your faith --only priest/holy man can give cure(if any BM is there). You surely can get lots of response in this forum but things like BM you --need physical expert to remove it. Go get it done. I am not sure in USA the accessibility or availability of a priest , but do get help in this.
    Once confirmed NOTHING-then you can live peacefully.
     
  3. Renu1999

    Renu1999 Bronze IL'ite

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    As everyone said I am also suprised to see your thread. Still cant believe its real ASG or someone else using ur a/c. You are matured, intelligent girl and highly educated girl please engage urself in your career now. sorry sorry to jumping into conclusion I think he is not right match for you. After all fighting with inlaws and even if he is upsetting you it is not worth it.
     
  4. ProReal

    ProReal Senior IL'ite

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    ASG
    I never used to believe in BM but I have heard that diamonds itself could bring extreme good luck or bad luck if it does'nt suit you. But that is valid only if you wear them.

    Do one thing, where your diamond earrings one day and see how the day goes. Like if you are feeling very down, irritated, things going wrong etc then dont wear it too much. If it does'nt suit you, you will apparently find it out within a day.

    They can remain in your house, just dont wear them... :idea
     
  5. dblakshmi

    dblakshmi Junior IL'ite

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    Hi ASG,

    Thank God. you are out of the problem now.
    I am happy for you.

    Cheer up,
    Lakshmi
     
  6. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Ok, I will try to see if there is priest around here to help with BM stuff.

    One other thing... some of you are saying he is not the right match for me. Probably, you guys are right. On paper we are not a good match... age difference, family problems, personality difference... list goes on and on.

    But the only problem is I really love him... so although we are too mismatched, it's hard for me to just dump him and move on. I guess my problem is I have so much hope for the relationship.... but maybe I should start thinking how much is too much hope, and how long should I continue to hold out hope believing that things will get better.

    It's not like I'm meeting him for the first time today and can think "Oh, we are opposite let's go seperate ways." I've been with him now 5 years, so there's a lot of emotion involved.

    Age difference doesn't bother me. Neither does his nasty family, so long as he doesn't let them into our life. The #1 problem is his off and on anger problems. I don't even know if it's an anger problem, or if it's just that he's very bad at handling stress (i.e. like at work) and can't cope with pressure.

    I really believe in trying to make a marriage work. Because there's no guarantee that the next person I marry would be flawless. Could have just as many problems as my current dh. But at the same time I feel like I'm reaching the end of my rope dealing with the interference from his family... probably my dh won't confront them about this Shobana thing because we don't know which one of them exactly did this. Point is... enough is enough already! I cringe to think next ten years of my life will be filled with more Shabanas and more name calling and abuse from my inlaws. Seems like every year they think of some new way to interfere. My love for dh is a lot... but the pain caused by his family (and occasionally him) is starting to outweigh the love... and I hate to blame my dh for this Shabana thing when I know it's his family behind it... but if he were to take a stronger stance with them, wouldn't they think twice before pulling these pranks? So really, he is allowing this nonsense to happen. Imagine if my family did that to him... he would expect me to never talk to them again.

    But something inside me is making me feel that he will have a talk with his mother in private, because he was really angry that day he found out that the Shabana thing wasn't a spam and was an intentional break in of his account. That is my gut feeling. I believe he will straighten them out and give a firm warning. I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE!!!
     
  7. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Hey ProReal... that's a great suggestion. Will try it out on a neutral day when I'm expecting neither a great day nor bad day. That way I will be able to clearly evaluate how I feel wearing them. :thumbsup
     
  8. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    ASG,
    I am glad your are doing well and it was only a confusion.
    Coming to Diamonds I think you should get it checked by a jeweler, meaning get it appraised. They will give you the color and clarity.
    Most of the indian diamonds which are good that means without any dosha is F, G Color and clarity will be VS1.
    So, without any dosha falls from D to G and from NO imperfections to VS1.
    Good luck and I am glad for you. Prayer, Patience and Positve thinking will make all your dreams come true.
     
  9. Renu1999

    Renu1999 Bronze IL'ite

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    But the only problem is I really love him... so although we are too mismatched, it's hard for me to just dump him and move on. I guess my problem is I have so much hope for the relationship.... but maybe I should start thinking how much is too much hope, and how long should I continue to hold out hope believing that things will get better.

    Asg I can understand how much you love your husband and now you are in desperate need for some emotional support to cope up with his situation better.

    Do you know when I write that I was so upset about men for not understanding the women's feeling . I think if he sit and talk to you for few minutes you will feel much better
     
  10. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Sometimes my dh does pooja at night. Sometimes he does it at dawn before the sun comes up. Sometimes in the morning with sun up. And recently my mil said he needs to start making some milk mixture with kokum and pouring it over his face while he does a chant.

    ASG, This is an indicator of BM. I told you in my earlier post right. If pooja is done after midnight and before sunrise its BM. My FIL shamelessly told me to do the same once,thinking I wud be dumb enuf to do it and make trouble for myself.

    Be careful with the milk on your husband's face thing. If recently maybe it was adviced with some intention. With the recent developments , I am not sure its a good thing. Besides I have never heard of pouring something on face to do puja.If you go to temples or know some pandit . Do ask asap. Do it before it brings results its intended to bring.


    Dont worry about the pictures they sent you. Just put it in a packing box and seal it.Also put it in the corner of your house where you and your husband go very rarely.I did the same when my FIL sent something. Our then family pandit adviced me to do it .

    About clothes.... what about clothes from my sil? I will happily ditch everything from mil and sil, but my dh likes two Lacoste shirts from my sil. Is there any purifying thing I can do to spare these two shirts?

    If you can find similar Lacoste shirts get him that and see if you can convince him to let it go.My SIL and IL's send some rotten clothes for my husband. Initially I brought it but when I did I saw my husband hated to even look at my face and started abusing me for anything and everything. BM can be done on clothes too. One reliable person whom I consult told me not to get anything from IL's and SIL especially as they dont have good intentions.

    Does broken jewellery signify anything? Remember... for my wedding my mil gifted me a broken imitation jewellery set.

    Get rid of it. Broken anything can drain energy out of the house. Maybe the broken set signifies something to them. You never know until it accomplishes what it is given for. Dont let it go so far.

    Pooja items... some are of legitimate Gods. Are those safe or can even those be infected? About the demon picture... it's of what looks to be an angel in soldier outfit hovering at gates of hell to fight with the demon who has flames all around him. But, it's a very scary picture and there's no clear depiction of demon losing the fight or anything. I don't know what it means.

    It can be done on legitimate Gods too. My IL's gave my husband an idol of God before I got married. Me like a fool did puja to it too along with rest of the puja. Then after my husband suddenly turned abusive , I consulted our astrologer who has been a pillar of support to our whole family. That person told that the idol was brought here with the intention of keeping my husband under my IL's control always.Unless we get rid of it , my husband wud turn into a demon as they went and when they want. So after torturous 3 yrs I did . It brought little good effect .

    Get rid of the demon picture. If you have a river nearby you can immerse it there.I always do it to all my IL's little parcels. I dont even bring it inside the house if they have posted it or sent it with somebody coming to US. Of course that person posts it and kudos to US post I dont have to bring it inside .You never know what effect it will have. After immersing it come home and clean the place where it was originally placed.

    About the diamonds you can put it in locker. Diamonds are not for everyone. For some its lucky and for somebody its unlucky. Ask someone before you wear it. But try to keep it in locker.


    Thats the knowledge I have on BM,thanks to my rotten ILs and demon SIL.
    Once you remove everything ,clean the house and throw the trash immediately. It will clear all negative forces.Good Luck.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2010

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