Vegas Problem

Hi ILites,
Have a problem. Planning on a trip to vegas along with some friends. This is the first time me and hubby are going tp have a chance to go around Vegas as a couple as friends have kids who my daughter loves and will stay with them for on night in the hotel. As my hubby was looking for shows in Vegas he had made a small list of show that we could see. When I saw the list I saw that the one of the show he wanted to see featured topless women. I knew that that was common in Vegas. I told him that I didn't want to see any naked people and that we could go for some other show. He said that most shows were like this. I said that I know that most shows may have adult content, but didn't want to look at a show that has nudity or sex as the main theme. That's it. He was totally upset. Said that maybe he will go with any of his friends and watch such shows and when he comes with me we will go for something else.

I am now confused because this actually made him upset. Watching these things in movies is different. Even then I feel very uncomfortable watching it with him in the room. I know why. I don't like him watching ( gawking ) at other naked women. He dosen't watch porn or anything. Just the regular sex / nude scenes in TV. But I've learnt to just brush that aside. But this is real women, in flesh and blood. Why is he so intent on watching them! I've seen the strip lined with pimps with women's photographs handing them out to men. Last time they even gave one to my husband. I was so angry. I didn't like Vegas then. I still don't like it. But wanted to give it a chance. Still have some fun with my husband.

I am feeling bad that my husband wants to watch a show with nude women and is actually upset that I wouldn't go with him! SHouldn't I be the one who is upset that he actually wants to see naked women! Am I making too much out of this! I don't know how to react ! I am not going to stop him from going out for these shows with his friends. But I would like to stop the confusion in my mind that is nagging me so bad.

He is a good man, good to me, a great dad. He takes care of the family very responsibily. Maybe I should just give him a break. Go with him and block the things I don't like.

Help ladies!

Hey Shanthi

Dont make yourself so tensed and frustrated as this is a simple issue and common with every men. Even wives also accompany thier husbands to such places. If your husband want to visit such places and you dont wnat to accompany him let him go with his friends and u stay in hotel. They will forget that the next moment they left that place. It is such acraziness in men anddont make this a great issue.

Enjoy your vegas trip

Love
Lakshmi

Hey Shanthi
I don't know if this is going to help. But here is my experience during my vegas trip.
Last time when we went to vegas with other couple all of them except me wanted to watch a topless show. Although I was not for it I could not say no because all other women in the group were acting all excited about it. I was surprised by their attitude. Then one friend adviced me that men are going to be men. If I show my displeasure towards it then they might have to do it behind my back. Instead just accompany him and try to enjoy with him. and let him be surprised with your sportsmanship. That way they will enjoy without guilt and you know whats going on.
My suggestion is to accompany your husband. Rather than him watching with friends it is better he watch it with you. May be it will help spice up your sex life. Thats how I convinced myself.

Maybe some senior ILites can give you more help.
Good luck

Hi Shanthi,
Lighten up! Go with him to these shows. And if you feel uncomfortable go to the Bellagio and cool down with their awesome dancing water fountains.
Atleast your husband was honest enough to show you the list!

Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Good Luck!
Gayathri

Yes Shanthi,I too would have felt the same way like you...there are so many better things to do there that we can avoid these shows if we want to.

I was there just 3-4 weeks back and everything you have written is true..probably you are like me,that is why u feel the same way like I do.

When I was there,I saw our own people behaving worser than the Americans there.Their style of dressing,their behaviour everything put me off! I couldn't believe my own eyes.Most of them were doing things which they would never do otherwise and it was so awkward and so obvious.

Like Gayathri said,what happens is Vegas surely stays in Vegas,but does it go away from our memory...no way!

I have never been to such shows. But I remember my ex-neighbor saying that she went to a show along with her husband and she said like though it is a topless show, it is very decent and won't look vulgar at all. There won't be complete nudity because they wear some long chains etc. It's just like any other show in Vegas. I don't know how true it is or does it applies to all the topless shows there. Hope this information gives you peace of mind.

Hmm.. Here is my take.. Having gone to Vegas twice.. I dont think all shows are abt topless gals ans sex themes..
We saw wonderful show in MGM .. Its called "Ka". Its very esthetic and it s about family story. and it 's one of the best shows in Vegas.. May be u suggest this one.. My SIL last time went to Venitian's show.. She was telling it was wonderful. I am surprised, your husband wants u to go to such place.. None of my frends have gone.. neither they encountered this.. I am also surprised by other's suggestion here.. That some of them they know have seen such shows..
My advice.. Dont force urself to see something which ur heart says No.. U dont hv to.. It doesn't make less adorable wife.. I guess people have to draw line where they compromise their belief to please spouse. I clearly wont do that.
You can always mention ur displeasure about the same. And let him and others do what they want. You can stay at hotel or you can just stroll with ur kid in Paris casino or other such nice casino..
If I were you... I would sweetly say no.. and say I am old-fashioned.. But wont let hubby feel he's doing something odd. I will allow him to go with a smiling face.. And just have sometime of my own.. May be get some nice spa treatment or something..
I hope this helps.

RIa

Hi Girls,
Thanks to all of you who took time to reply to me. Each one of you have given me your experience. I will take a little bit of everything each one you have said. I am glad that I am not the only one who feels that this is wrong. I am not sure what I will do once I get there. But whatever it is I just plan to take it lightly. Thank you for suggesting the other shows we can look at.

Glad that I could talk about this issue before going to Vegas.

Thanks.

Agree with Ria,there are a number of good shows which you can go for.That too when we go with kids,our priorities change automatically and we start searching for shows that we can take the kids to.That is what we did.Thankfully,my hubby is not interested in any topless shows and so,I was not under any stress to see any such show.Infact,in LV,one day I got up a little early in the morning(while the dad and son were snoring away!) to check out all the show listings and prepared a list then and there of the shows and events that we did not want to miss.

Based on that list,we planned everything.