Husband's behaviour ?

hi Roo,

i just saw ur post it's really sad heart breaking, but u can come out of this situation . don't worry at all, first u make urself feel relax u think that u can do best to get ur husband on line, only ur strong thinking and belief can make u strong and support u as u r alone, even if u have any friends please don't involve in this matter situation will get spoiled. Never leave ur husband for a single, be with him whole time and don't stop him doing anything. Once u leave him situation will go out of ur hand as u said he tells u to go back to india forget this thing, once u do this he will be free and u don't know what all he will do in ur absence. What i am telling it's tough but to get life on track it's must, when he is watching net u be with him watch and don't say anything. Make ur daughter talk to him sometime teach her to give something to give it to hr daddy and may be if she comes again and again to papa he may get attached to her sometimes u teach her when papa is at home play eith him talk to him. u keep an eye on bank acct but before doing that make ur heart strong to face anything or else don't so. never let him sleep alone bcoz of his night activities u get disturbed but neglect for time being, that time don't tell him anything, make him to feel ur presence with ur love slowly he might forget his activity. now u try to start again and slowly try to reach his heart the way he likes. Leaving him now for few days is like breaking this relation which seems as he wants. so try handle his way only, if u go against him u can't do anything. please try and rest leave in God's hand ur daughter will get her father's love very soon.

take care
padma

Hi,
Just one question.....do you or have you fought with him,put him down for watching porn like mostly women do?How about when your child is asleep,you go to him and tell him lets watch it together! Maybe if you show interest in this,he might lose his enthusiasum slowly.....or if you both feel aroused,even end up making love!

Hi,

Read your problems. Its been sometime since you have put up your problem on this forum. Have things changed? Or still the same.

If same. Dont lose hope. Lots of men have different bad habits, Some are drunkards, some chain smokers, etc. Men dont give up their bad habits even after wife nag or fight with them. They will only stop when they see the bad consequences of it.

That doesnt mean you have got to lose hope. You sure could help in leaving his habit. Watching pornography happens with men, only if either they are not satisfied in their marriage or if they are bored and looking for other women to try new adventures.

I guess your nagging or having a baby has put your sex life at the back of your mind. Sex is just essential in marriage, as other things in life. Women can be motivated in sex if they are happier with their partner. While men needs sex just to even vent their anxiety.

Try bringing sex back in your life. Wear sexy clothes at home, just not only in the night. Sex should not be only for the night. It should happen anytime. Try different positions which also makes sex exciting.

Stop nagging or pointing out mistakes. It is notice that most often when wife cling to hubby, hubby try to run away from them. If wife try to keep distance, tehy trun around, as they wonder why no attention is give to them anymore.

Try to be happy all the time, keep distance from him, give more time to your child. Take you child for a walk in the evening. Once you be happy, happiness comes in your behaviour and appearance. If women are too open in their life like they tell everything to their spouse, spouse get bored of them. If women appear suspicous, men get excited and want to know the reason of their wife being happy all the time.

If all is well, life gets well to. Try it out and let us know, how thing turn up. You may not lose anything but just gain.

all the best
Diana

Hi Bharati,
just came across ur post..I think many Indian men r pampered by parents...they treat wives/any ladies like doormats

u noticed how they pee on streets..cant wait till they reach home...wot about females

I t is difficult to change somebody..think how difficult it is to change urself
keep on writing we would like to hear more from u that is wot friends r for

Hi,

Watching porn films or porn web sites is not that a big crime.

These days even girls watch porn stuffs. Ladies hostels in some reputed colleges have such habits.

At some houses husband & wife watch together.

So, as long as understanding is there between husband & wife, there is nothing wrong

If he was just watching porn you might be able to let it slide, but the fact that he was looking for ladies to meet in your area, well that is a sign that he was planning to cheat, and who knows? maybe he has.

For this reason only I advise you to think about divorce.

We should also find why he is looking for other girls. Any problem which needs to correct at home itself?

hi
Roo few are telling so sad to hear u but thats common my sinerce advise is u take time to look attractive and beautiful speak some romantice thoughts..
My sinerce advise to Ladies who are staying in ABROAD please dont stay alone at home watching TV.. browsing NET please try to make friends( i mean indians whatever state they are if north, south but beleive we are indian) we cant make foriegn pupil as friends bcoz of culture barriers.. make friends as if u call them or met them at home or go out with families.. that all makes lot of difference to our loving husbands.. defenility he thinks my wife is mingeing with friends even they will be scared to tell anything... chat with our old friends keep in touch with them.. If ur working women plz schedule time to met friends take ur husband to ur friends ... lot of changes will happen
Regards
Veena