How to judge people

hi IL,
i have a friend who is married for 3 yrs,she came to US thro..
h4 visa and now applying for h1b, she is in US for past 2yrs.
i met her in US she told me that all her visa processing are
done by her dh spending money etc..i told her your lucky
to have such a nice husband spending for u,immediatedly
she told me that he is a fraud do things to show of .i felt
sorry for her initially .but later when me and my husband
moved with them closely i came to know all this , in our talks
abt our inlaws she used to tell that they're fraud people.
i don't know what they did but came to understand that initiall
problem which every girl will under go even i undergone those
type of problem later everything got solved,her mil was sick so her
dh asked her to help his mother she said she won't do keep a servant
they did that,she is a very bold girl don't bother for anyone she told me
but to my point of view her dh is a caring, loving person won't let
his wife infront of others he does thing that how a modern girl should be to his wife,
like make her to go for work,drive a car etc...one more things if any friends
come to their house he used to cook alone with her to minimise her work load
when she got her exam he used to do all household work at home after work
but my dh is not like him sometimes i used to fight with my husband
for not helping me,he wants me to be an homemaker,if i say i am going to do this
etc..,he used to say ask ur amma to send money iam not a fool like my friend's
husband to spend for his wife.i bitterly cry for this type of statement.i know
my husband is a male shawnist i go according to his way but when i come across
this type of girl i change don't know how to judge her b'coz of comparing
my life with my husband is very terrible,i know that is wrong

i want to know whether she has any complex and talk abt her dh ,
or her dh doing things for fame.

with regards,
Rupa.

don't be a fool lead ur life happily don't compare urself with others.
bye,
florist

hi Rupa,
nobody gets a happy life enjoy with what u have .
pls don't compare urself with other,life will become a hell
there will be more holes in all our house try to close it
don't keep it open .
bye,
florist.

How to judge people?

Nothing. You dont judge anyone. Thats wrong.

About your issues. Dont compare you, your husband or family with others. Thats not healthy for a relationship.

Hi,

I can understand that even you want ur hubby to become more flexible...
But one thing is don't try comparing him with ur friend's hubby.....Everybody in this world have their weakness and strength...So what you free as good in others may be not for some body else...So try thinking about the good qualities of your DH .That will make you more happy and you will start feeling that you are more lucky than anybody rather than comparing..Such comparision will gain nothing but only tension in your personal life..

So take care,
Good Bless,
Saraswati

Hi, there

You dont know exactly how your friend's husband would be in actual scenario?? Did you live with him?? NO. There are tonnes of people in this world who spend their life by faking around. I have seen people around me where both the husband and wife show they have great understanding and love in themselves, but one fine day we saw the true colors of the hubby when the wife spill the beans.

So, my advice would be dont compare your hubby with others unless you become too sure about the other person.

Instead, if you want some changes in him try your own way by stating to him what are your likes and dislikes.

Hi.
I feel it's a natural instinct to compare. But its definitely not healthy when you express it to your husband. It'll hurt his ego and he would not help you with your duties if you approach him this way. Instead, try to make him understand your desire and see if that helps. If he doesnt oblige, go a step further. Do something that he likes, and then retry expressing your wishes.
Cheers.