What lessons have you learned in marriage?

Hi ladies,

I was wondering what lessons you have learned in marriage and would like to u to share with the rest of us so that we may grow and improve too.

Here're some of the lessons I learned in my marriage:

1) Treat husband like a best friend so that good or bad they will know about it and will help us with the problem. If he doesn't know about a bad situation like anger or sadness, I saw that I tended to vent out my frustration on him but he wouldn't understand why I was frustrated at him. So, instead of making him think why I'm like that, I talk about everything so he can help me through the phase.

2) In times of fight/arguments, try to have open communication. For instance, the minute I feel like cursing him out or something, I warn him that I need time to cool off and I go and do something relaxing like funny tv, or cooking. After fight and relaxation, we talk calmly about it and tell how we FEEL about what happened instead of going into accusations. In the end, we resolve the argument by seeing each other's point of views, compromising, or correcting our behavior or thoughts.

3) Be aware of changes that happened in our personalities and adjust to it if we like it but if we don't like the behaviors, then tell each other so we can change ourselves to improve the relationship. One thing I really learned is that we should always be willing to change ourselves for sake of improvement so that we don't get stuck in bad behaviors and continue them on for years and years, impacting negatively on the marriage life.



These are some of the lessons I learned. I'm wondering what lessons you learned. :D

Hope you will share w/us.

Sere :D

Very Interesting Topic.
It so happened this weekend I attended a bridal shower.
All the ladies present were given a heart shaped paper to write a word of advice to the bride. Later each heart of different colors were stuck on flower wire and presented to her in a vase.
Instead of just adressing the bride I thought my advice should be to both the bride and the groom.
Hence, I wrote Prayers, Patience and Positive Attitude.
Later after hearing all the funny advice others had given. I fely happy about myself for giving a very sound advice. I got to thinking why I wrote those words. May be my own experience... which I was not aware of till now.

hi serenity,

very nice topic, thank you

before marriage i was a free spirit.not taking anything seriously just having fun.

but after marriage i am taking life one day at a time .for me marriage is not happily ever after

learned that anger will not make any difference or bring change to any situation.
communication is the most important key. husband will not just understand what i want.
we have to make sure to maintain happy environment at home for the growth of the family
forgiving and forgetting each others mistakes
another way to make a man happy is to keep his parents happy

this list goes on
i am learning each day

manju

Hi,

Interesting one... Here's what I learned:

1. Patience is virtue.. When there are some misunderstandings, instead of trying to solve it right away, give it sometime and wait for both to be in a better mood and then try to work it out. Its always better that way.
2. Forgive and try to Forget.. This would help you not to remember bad things from the past and quoting them all the time resulting in a hurtful memory again.
3. Keep doing small nice things - This would keep your marriage healthy and enthusiastic. Like cooking his favourite dish as a surprise or giving a back rub or a massage when he is tired etc.

Of course all this would be better if its mutual.

Things I have learnt from marriage:

- You need to compromise on certain things... Prioritise on what is important and take a firm stand. If you take a firm stand on everything, it does not work.

- Home is where everyone needs to have their space and do their own thing... it is good to have ALONE time every once in a while.

- Anger does not resolve anything.. like the others have mentioned, talking calmly about the issue helps.

- There will always be differences of opinion between two individuals. The important thing is to accept and respect even the other person's opinion... as they say... agree to disagree.

- Peace at home is the most important thing... making the home a welcome place to be, lies to a great deal in the hands of the lady of the house. Home is where the spirit gets recharged to face the troubles of life. Creating a welcome atmosphere is very important.

- Lastly, happy marriages and ideal couples do not automatically get formed. It takes a lot of work... like everything else in life.

It is very nice topic and quite brain storming also.

There are some lessaons I have learned are

* Give adequate time to your partner

* Do communication openly

* Try to understand your partner as per situation & emotions . This will help to both to come on same platform

Hi Serenity,

Very thought-provoking topic. Here is my tentative list :

1. It takes time for someone to love you the way your parents do/did.

2. Some things are better left unsaid. It is not necessary to say everything that crosses your mind.

3. Do as many things as you can yourself - you never know when you will need them.

4. Do not bring in-laws or parents into the picture when there is an argument. It helps no one, and hurts all concerned.

5. Do not belittle your spouse in the company of others - it gives them fodder for gossip.

6. Do not compare your spouse to others - every one has his/her good and bad points.

And I am still in the process of learning the rest

Cheers,
Sowmya

Wow! These are all really good lessons that we can learn too. :D

Keep them coming guys!!!

Sere :D