I dont like these habits of my husband

Originally Posted by rajirocks

Hi Charu,
My hubby is actually the cleanliness freak (better of the two) and he actally helps me a lot in meeting his expectations. Like, he sets right the pillows and bedcovers in the morning soon after he wakes up, before even heading to brush.

But two things about him really irritate me.

1.He expects me to stand right in front of him the second he calls me. Doesn't understand that I would be doing some work, I need to set that aside. At least I need to walk over to him, not sprint.

2. Whenever the phone rings I should be the person to pick the phone. Whether I am feeding my child, working in the kitchen, doing some important work, I need to come running and take the phone. He would be sitting right next to the phone and watching TV, but even if the phone rings to full and stops he won't pick up. If I ask him why he didn't pick up, he would say 'where were you all this time?'

Regards

Hi Rajirocks

i believe men have such habits coz their mothers have been behaving this way with them & they expect the same from their wives.

Well, although i might be too young to be commenting on your situation, but whenever my husband calls me and i am busy in the kitchen etc, i simply ask him back whats it about. He has come to understand now that he would get immediate attention only if his issue demands it...

And about the phone - why dont you get a cordless set - it might be easier for you to keep a handle on it. And if your husband asks the reason for this expense, simply state that it gets difficult running from the kitchen to grab the phone receiver

I hope you get through your share of difficulties soon.

Cheers
Charu..

My husband and kids can't seem to learn how to open:

Cereal boxes......once opened by them , they can never be closed.

bag of chips.......rip right through the center vertically

resealable frozen stuff.......they wont be resealable any more

I think its all genetics passed from generation (old) to generation (new) and no matter how many times attempt to show the correct way ...it is all in vain

Hi Charu,

Thanks for your understanding. I've tried replying from the kitchen or wherever I am. But his voice is so soft that I can't hear properly from a distance. I've seen that in his family of birth, the men usually sit at the same place. Even water is brought to their place by the ladies. That's just the habit, I guess.

And we have a cordless too. And that's not solving the problem. Anyways, I am trying not to get irritated about this.

Regards,
Nandhitha

Hi Charu,

Nice thread. "Husband woes"

My husband is a cleanliness freak too...he dosen't like the house to be unkept. Which happens at times when i have lot of guests or overloaded with work at office. So on weekends one of us takes the initiative and the other helps in straightening the house.

Even though i have a full time maid and a part time one as well, the full time dosen't find time to do anything other than what she is supposed to do....mainly cooking. Coz our afternoons & evenings are spent in watching TV.No one at home so full control on TV.

One thing i disliked most was whenever he is at home...his priority is sleeping He can sleep for hours at a stretch. But now he is changing little bit.

Roopa.

Originally Posted by Blondie

My husband and kids can't seem to learn how to open:

Cereal boxes......once opened by them , they can never be closed.

bag of chips.......rip right through the center vertically

resealable frozen stuff.......they wont be resealable any more

I think its all genetics passed from generation (old) to generation (new) and no matter how many times attempt to show the correct way ...it is all in vain

Hi blondie

I just couldnt stop laughing reading your post
Men seem to be blessed with such habits... but i guess if mothers are strong with their sons, they would be better in their later lives..

Enjoy and have a nice day!
Charu..

Originally Posted by rajirocks

Hi Charu,

Thanks for your understanding. I've tried replying from the kitchen or wherever I am. But his voice is so soft that I can't hear properly from a distance. I've seen that in his family of birth, the men usually sit at the same place. Even water is brought to their place by the ladies. That's just the habit, I guess.

And we have a cordless too. And that's not solving the problem. Anyways, I am trying not to get irritated about this.

Regards,
Nandhitha

Dear Nandhitha

I really appreciate your patience and the sweetness in your character
But i would still suggest, that giving up to this unreasonable habit of his would be too easy... try out ways by which you could prompt him to be more active.
Wish you all the very best

Charu..

Originally Posted by roopadadia

Hi Charu,

Nice thread. "Husband woes"

My husband is a cleanliness freak too...he dosen't like the house to be unkept. Which happens at times when i have lot of guests or overloaded with work at office. So on weekends one of us takes the initiative and the other helps in straightening the house.

Even though i have a full time maid and a part time one as well, the full time dosen't find time to do anything other than what she is supposed to do....mainly cooking. Coz our afternoons & evenings are spent in watching TV.No one at home so full control on TV.

One thing i disliked most was whenever he is at home...his priority is sleeping He can sleep for hours at a stretch. But now he is changing little bit.

Roopa.

Hi Roopa

I completely understand the backlog of household chores/cleaning to be done on weekends. And mismatch in the sleeping habits is another concern of compromise in a marriage

Thanks for writing in. By the way, your maid seems to be luckier than most of us

Cheers
Charu..

HI Charu,

Its a nice thread in the sense that how two individuals live/ adjust each other inspite of others short comings or unfulfilled expectations.
according to me nobody is perfect. If we ask our husband they will have their own listings about our habits that they dont like. So my humble opinion is it is better to discuss it with the concerned person rather than discussing in forum.
Pls dont take it hard.

Hello Charu
A good thread dear. These things happen in everyones life. No person is perfect. When I got married even I use to get very irriated as always want all the things in the house to be in its place, everything neat and tidy. he use to remove his shoes and just keep outside the shoe rack, his office bag someway on the way. Tried to improve but of no use, even today after 17 yrs he is the same but there are some really good things too in him, he will try and help me but will not help himself.........
So now 5 days I keep the house the way I want and weekends
if you see my house is just horrible both father and son are the same. I don't invite anyone on weekend and allow them to stay the way they want, and I too become one of them. So now just enjoy the way it is. One of our friend here has told house is not a museum, so lets live as it is. They will learn slowly as for me now during these 5 days he sees to it he keep his things in place, but will never tell about the weekends ......

Hi,

Im married for the past 5 years, and no, the habits still not changed. wrappers lying where there were opened, pista shells all over the place when its eaten.
Dishes lying right next to the sofa.

AND gosh.. it is IRRITATING. but ive learnt to deal with it.. (yeah right..!). I just tell myself to cool down and its a good exercise for me,
Shoes lying like show pieces in the drawing room when hes back from office.
Socks like antique pieces.

I tell myself i wont pick it up.. but it lies there, 1 day, 2 days, 3 days, and I just cant take that!!!!! so i end up doing the friggin work anyways.

And the list of such things n habits goes on.... and on.... and on..! ha
Good luck to u if u can change ur husbands habits.
Gosh some guys can be so much work!!!! my husband is definitely!!

P.S: barbie, i got cracked up seeing ur mail, my husband has those traits too.. the chips and cereal boxes can never be opened correctly. WTH R SCISSORS FOR..???!!! LOL, i m jus getting all bubbled up thinking over all these things again..

Also charu, interesting post, speciallly to vent off our basic frustrations ;)