Do u discuss everything with ur husband?

Nope..I dont discuss every detail in day-to-day life.He knows my daily routine and i know his.ANy thing special or different happened then we share.After my son was born..our conversation revolves around him...Now-a-days he is too busy that we hardly talk for totally 1 hr a day.. I feel free to discuss about movies,jokes,rumours,gossips etc to my girlfriends than to my hubby.

Nice thread.

I would ideally love to share everything with my husband but I don’t. There is some part of me that is careful. My husband is a nice guy, no issues there. But he used to be a very “this is right and this is wrong” type of a person. Much to my relief he has mellowed down quite a bit in my company of 10 yrs! But he is still a much more “go by the book” person. This is right, this is what society thinks so we must do it etc. I am a little make my own rules type of a person. So many times my nature could be interpreted as not following the rules (which may be true in some cases where I believe those rules are no good), thereby causing unnecessary conflict between us. So after the “honeymoon period” (as Ria has aptly put it), I started maintaining some space of my own.

Also, as someone here correctly pointed out, it also depends on the spouse. My spouse likes to internalize things. He is very talkative but does not like to talk or discuss much of his inner/deeper feelings. He likes to deal with them on his own. So somewhere I started to do the same. Somewhere I expected that he too would share as openly as I did but when that didn’t happen I tried to talk to him about being more open but ultimately let him be his usual self and found other options (mainly girlfriends) to share with.

Of course, there is always this little part of me to which only I have access.

Although, my idea of the most romantic time with my spouse will still be chatting all sorts of things with him, anything that comes to my mind, any topic under the sun – without the fear of being judged. I guess this will probably happen only in my next life! J

For now I should be happy to be able to talk some and keep some to myself..

SS

Hi Kavya,
Every relationship has its highs and lows, we have to be gods not to.I am sorry that you are going through a tough period, eventually it will ease. Just think of the nice times you had with your hubby, the loving words he said to you, or the gifts he gave you, or the time he defended you,maybe like meditation, just think of the happy times, you might feel good about him. Worst sitiuations, can bring out the worst in a person.Sometimes, atleast psychologically,sitiuations are'nt that difficult as they seem to be.Wishing you happy times again.
Love
Nivedha.

Hello Ria

I have been married four yrs n I am sure that I am not in a honeymoon phase and we had lot problems from both sides but we always deal it in a smooth way and I am pretty sure that we will like this forever.

We have a daughter n nothing have changed.

Thanks for responding everyone.


-Dhivya

Thanks for your wishes Nivedha. I also hope I come out of this dark episode.

Kavya.

Originally Posted by nivedha

Hi Kavya,
Every relationship has its highs and lows, we have to be gods not to.I am sorry that you are going through a tough period, eventually it will ease. Just think of the nice times you had with your hubby, the loving words he said to you, or the gifts he gave you, or the time he defended you,maybe like meditation, just think of the happy times, you might feel good about him. Worst sitiuations, can bring out the worst in a person.Sometimes, atleast psychologically,sitiuations are'nt that difficult as they seem to be.Wishing you happy times again.
Love
Nivedha.

Dhivya,

I dont intend to offend you. But that s my general observation for majority of couples. You may have been extra fortunate to have this worked out this way. But normally , I do hear so many times spouses using the infromation in times of arguments. And when things go bad between the couple, normally parents and siblings are dragged in verbal arguments.

Thats why extra caution for saving every dear one an unpleasent experience.

I apologize if i had caused any hurt.

Cheers,
Ria

I agree with Ria. And I have to admit that I am also guilty of the same offence. Generally when we become angry we want to do something to hurt the other person. But now both me and my husband have realized our folly and we try not to do it.

Kavya.

Originally Posted by ria2006

Dhivya,

I dont intend to offend you. But that s my general observation for majority of couples. You may have been extra fortunate to have this worked out this way. But normally , I do hear so many times spouses using the infromation in times of arguments. And when things go bad between the couple, normally parents and siblings are dragged in verbal arguments.

Thats why extra caution for saving every dear one an unpleasent experience.

I apologize if i had caused any hurt.

Cheers,
Ria

Ria

I know u didn't mean to offend, plz don't apologize or feel bad.

U didn't hurt my feelings.

I totally agree with that once we have a child, problems will be big. For me its coz of my mom(trust me like annoying mil, annoying mom is also out there[but I luv her no matter what]). When she came to my delivery she used to create a big problems because of that we will have big fight and for the very first time we didn't even talked for more than a week but once she left we discussed everything and we said lot sorry for not talking we were back on track. Now she will be coming again n we know how to handle whatever problem it is. We learned our lesson.

But I totally agree that every thing depends on the individual character.

I wish everyones problem gets resolved pretty soon.

Cheers
-Dhivya

Hi Friends

Myself n my Husband discuss everything we encounter daily . Though we have a kid n married for 3 years i dont think it all makes any difference.....He takes time to even read my posts ( though i'm not a good nor frequent writer) when i tell something abt it.
I think i'm more comfortable when i discuss everything with him rather than any one else.

regards
santasekar

hi, I have to admit, that i do not discuss everyhting with my husb....it's been that way for a long time, i know that if i tell him eveything, we will never stop fighting!