Depressed

Hello,
I m very depressed.Right after marriage I found my husband being very friendly with girls.He is very much influenced by his friends(who are girls).He always instructs me to do things as he says in public.The reason he gives is "----(his friend's name) will feel so bad if u do it etc etc".I also found that he does not have any fast friends who are boys.In a party,instead of being with me,he just goes off and remains talking to his friends(girls.)Even though there might be guys around whomhe knows,he doesn't tak to them.

I also see that the girls have their own husbands,who never leave them alone at the party,like my husband does.His friends(girls) frequently send him emails after which he just behaves as a person might do if he is homesick.Whenever he meets any of those 3-4 particular friends,he behaves as if I am a stranger and does not even come near me.I have lost my sleep over it,especially since we r marriedonly 8months back.

Can anyone helpmeout?

Hey Harshita:

Cheer up girl!! Don't let his behavior depress you. 8 months is a long time to be married and time for you to have an open conversation with him and tell him what bothers you.

Also, you need to figure out why you are feeling so insecure. Instead of wasting your energy and feelings over this, I would suggest you get yourself busy.

Take classes in a local community college, make friends, prepare for a job that you can start when you get your work permit, look for local volunteer work, go to the gym....get a hot body , check out some cute guys (nothing wrong in looking) and when you have a life of your own, what he does will not become the center of your world. Guys need to know that you can have a life of your own too.....with or without a H1

Work and money are important, but are not everything in life. Instead of treating the time on H4 as a vacation, do some of the things I mentioned above. And when you make friends, dont just look for indians, look for good people. Americans are nice to be friends with too. You will learn a lot about their culture. Go to the library.

One thing to keep in mind.....when you are depressed and still don't know him well, please dont make the mistake of getting pregnant. Then that will dictate your whole entire life.

Have fun and enjoy America