Who makes up and how?

Srama · Dec 13, 2008

Hi Ladies,

I have been raking my brains about happy things in a marriage - it is not easy. NOt because there aren't any, but we all are so busy dealing with every day life, I think we forget to look at what is it that we like about marriage. So instead of going into thinking and explanations about our married life, here's what I think we should do - try and answer these questions :hiya

1. Who makes up after a fight usually you or your other half?

2. Do you share a habit with your other/better half that is so you two?

Let me start by answering first.

1. Me, me mostly me and some times hubby too. I usually sulk for a day or two and on the third day, when he is leaving for work, simply hug and say "now I know why I really love you" (yes after all the dialogues with myself in my mind) - there is peace after that.

2. Hubby is crazy about travel, so we have this deal - wherever we go, he needs to give me a kiss, atleast a peck - doesn't matter where or who is watching! Ofcourse hubby thinks it borders on harrassment now especially after a decade of marriage and two kids but follows it anyways.

I look forward to hearing more from the other ladies. Happy 'Marriage' thoughts!

cheerful · Dec 13, 2008

Dear Srama,
So nice to see you here.
Let me tell you mine.

1. It used to be me. Because it used to be very difficult for me not to talk to him/ or being unpleasant for long time. So I used to initiate for each thing. Later on i got bored doing this/nothing changed him/ and took a vacation from saying sorries. My DH picked it up from there and its been a long time since I said sorry. Still there are certain things that I can not change. So I keep my mouth shut and go to IL happily.

2. Oh yes, this is one what comes to my mind first. It we go for shopping, happily go and browse the clearance section.We enjoy shopping together.Though we both had different tastes,favorite food etc before, now I notice that we order same sandwich at least.

I feel our marriage is getting better each year. To me first year was the worst.

Cheerful

Rihana · Dec 13, 2008

1. Who makes up after a fight usually you or your other half?
If it is a fight over something now and happening right now(small issues like he returning really late & we have guests coming over), we just semi yell, express ourselves, and in an hour or so, it passes, and we don't bring it up again. Our kids also don't take these seriously.
If it is bigger ongoing issue(most often upcoming trip to India Rant), then, we are extra extra polite to each other, don't talk more than needed for 2-3 days. Then, 80% of the time, I send him an email or I bring it up briefly after the kids have gone to bed and before he goes to watch TV. Sometime, if I am playing it cool and not in a hurry to resolve issue and he needs a resolution(like he has to get back to his folks about something), then he brings it up in the night when we are finishing final cleanup of kitchen. Issue gets resolved, and next morning all is normal.

But, of late, we seem to have less and less that we disagree on. :confused2:

2. Do you share a habit with your other/better half that is so you two?
Watching Hindi movies that are a little different. Like Manorama 6 feet under, Outsourced, Delhi Heights, A Wednesday, mrs. & mrs. iyer. What else do we share? Hiking and camping. And a strange one: by mutual agreement we don't do cakes, cards, presents for each other's b'days, anniversary, valentine's day anymore. we just pick a fancy restaurant and go out for lunch or dinner on the closest weekend to that date.

Nice thread to reply to on a Friday evening just before start of another weekend!

Rihana

Aadhusmom · Dec 13, 2008

Nice thread Srama - knew you would come up with something "different'!

1. Who makes up after a fight usually you or your other half?

Whoever was in the wrong. I lose my temper more often so thats usually me saying "Sorry" more often too but if its his fault then I am very very stubborn about him making the first move. We always make up with a kiss.

2. Do you share a habit with your other/better half that is so you two?

Ok this is very personal but I'll still tell you anyway - neither of us can sleep at night unless we are holding hands (we have been known to hold hands across the space between train berths!). If we arent together then his has to be the last voice I hear at night (over the phone) before going to sleep and vice-versa.

Vanathi.

Srama · Dec 13, 2008

Cheerful,

so cute that you guys do shopping together! I cannot get my hubby to even grocery shop!

It is so nice that you feel your marriage is getting better by the year - that is how it is supposed to work isn't it?

Thanks for sharing with us!

ps...hope you are all ready for christmas with your neighbors!

cheerful said: ↑

Dear Srama,
So nice to see you here.
Let me tell you mine.

1. It used to be me. Because it used to be very difficult for me not to talk to him/ or being unpleasant for long time. So I used to initiate for each thing. Later on i got bored doing this/nothing changed him/ and took a vacation from saying sorries. My DH picked it up from there and its been a long time since I said sorry. Still there are certain things that I can not change. So I keep my mouth shut and go to IL happily.

2. Oh yes, this is one what comes to my mind first. It we go for shopping, happily go and browse the clearance section.We enjoy shopping together.Though we both had different tastes,favorite food etc before, now I notice that we order same sandwich at least.

I feel our marriage is getting better each year. To me first year was the worst.

Cheerful
Click to expand...

Srama · Dec 13, 2008

Rihana,

hope you are enjoying your weekend.

You seem to have reached a nice balance of sorting issues and not missing the forest for the trees - I loved the ways you guys sort things out!

Having a nice dinner is a great idea and if you are taking kids, they get to learn to celebrate too with out presents all the times.

Loved reading your post!

Rihana said: ↑

1. Who makes up after a fight usually you or your other half?
If it is a fight over something now and happening right now(small issues like he returning really late & we have guests coming over), we just semi yell, express ourselves, and in an hour or so, it passes, and we don't bring it up again. Our kids also don't take these seriously.
If it is bigger ongoing issue(most often upcoming trip to India Rant), then, we are extra extra polite to each other, don't talk more than needed for 2-3 days. Then, 80% of the time, I send him an email or I bring it up briefly after the kids have gone to bed and before he goes to watch TV. Sometime, if I am playing it cool and not in a hurry to resolve issue and he needs a resolution(like he has to get back to his folks about something), then he brings it up in the night when we are finishing final cleanup of kitchen. Issue gets resolved, and next morning all is normal.

But, of late, we seem to have less and less that we disagree on. :confused2:

2. Do you share a habit with your other/better half that is so you two?
Watching Hindi movies that are a little different. Like Manorama 6 feet under, Outsourced, Delhi Heights, A Wednesday, mrs. & mrs. iyer. What else do we share? Hiking and camping. And a strange one: by mutual agreement we don't do cakes, cards, presents for each other's b'days, anniversary, valentine's day anymore. we just pick a fancy restaurant and go out for lunch or dinner on the closest weekend to that date.

Nice thread to reply to on a Friday evening just before start of another weekend!

Rihana
Click to expand...

Srama · Dec 13, 2008

Vanathi,

that is so cute holding hands and sleeping and ...... across the train berths (!)....a lock no one can break :thumbsup. Thanks for sharing this with us. It is these little habits that make a great marriage nd give true meaning and happiness.

Hope you are having a great weekend and thanks.

Aadhusmom said: ↑

Nice thread Srama - knew you would come up with something "different'!

1. Who makes up after a fight usually you or your other half?

Whoever was in the wrong. I lose my temper more often so thats usually me saying "Sorry" more often too but if its his fault then I am very very stubborn about him making the first move. We always make up with a kiss.

2. Do you share a habit with your other/better half that is so you two?

Ok this is very personal but I'll still tell you anyway - neither of us can sleep at night unless we are holding hands (we have been known to hold hands across the space between train berths!). If we arent together then his has to be the last voice I hear at night (over the phone) before going to sleep and vice-versa.

Vanathi.
Click to expand...

peaches n cream · Dec 14, 2008

to answer your first question it all depends if its me for y sorry to be accepted I have to call my dh all kinds of sweet love words then give him a big huggy and a kiss and say now smile then when he smiles I ll say now I have my mister bback.when its his turn to say sorry he also does the same but then he ll say let me see my smile and he ll say not like that and then he ll keep making me smile until he thinks he got the perfect smile.

Srama · Dec 14, 2008

That is really sweet, peaches (is that your pet name?) - you guys go all out saying sorry to one another. Getting a smile that pleases your hubby..wow,that's awfully cute.

Thanks for sharing!

dollyiyer16 · Dec 15, 2008

Dear Srama,

It is a really nice thread that you have started and the two question in discussion made me really think
we just completed one year of married life(13th dec 07 is when we got married) and in this one year i can vouch on the fact that my hubby is the one who always makes it up:cheers. he always says that he can never see me sad,angry or irritated. So whenever we have some misunderstandings be it my fault of his , he always apologises by saying that it is his fault and keeps hugging me untill i smile and come back to my normal self. even if i push him off,he will not leave me untill he finds me ok :rotfl. After that i also apologise if i am at fault. bonk

The habit we share is , whenever we go to sleep , i always lie on his left hand/chest area and he hugs me with his right hand. i have almost become addicted to this position that i am not able to sleep when he is not around...:rotfl
it was really fun penning down all this right after we have celebrated our marriage anniv.

luv,
dolly