Work Life Balance: aka The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndrome

Re: Work Life Balance: aka The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndr

Hi Spiderman,
Good question. What I have found out is deciding your priority .

If one has that set up and can communicate it effectively with spouse it works out.
If we are not simply running the rat race to get to a point and we enjoy the journey as well life becomes enjoyable.

Indians usually have the mentality ,once I get this then I will relax...it never happens and so life is always a rat race.Right from being a student to coming to the workforce and even later.

JMO.
FL

 

Re: Work Life Balance: aka The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndr

Spiderman,
I think it goes back to our upbringing. I think most of us grew up in a tough (license raj, developing nation) economy and we grew up being paranoid about ensuring that we have enough savings to sustain ourselves and fulfill our responsibilities. I cannot even fathom how tough it must have been for our parents generation to find work and fulfill their multitude of responsibilities towards parents, siblings and children. I know it came at a cost for them both in terms of health and relationships (less time to bond with kids). I think this residual financial insecurity tends to keep us going.

 

Re: Work Life Balance: aka The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndr

My DH spends a great deal of time with his 1st wife (you know who becoz you are a man. yes his laptop :bonk).

He has extreme work pressure and so can't blame him.. poor guy.. he does his best - our family time is reduced to hardly 1 to 2 hrs a day. Weekends too he works atleast a day..

There are times when we communicate thru mails even when we are at home. :hide:

The way we balance (!!) it out is he calls me from work when he takes a short walk and talks (5 mins) and that satisfies me. Somedays, he even calls twice (Hey! Luxury!! :rotfl )

But inspite of the long tiring day at work, the way he comes home (usually at 8pm) and readily transitions to play with my kid at that late hour without even caring to freshen himself up or unwind on the couch..trying to lend me a hand in whatever I was doing at that hour.. moves my heart every single time. He is absolutely gorgeous.

But I do wish that if only he has a 9 to 5 job.. well.. I have no hope his work pressure would subside.. alai ennikku oyarathu.. so I make the most out of his available time instead of cribbing.

PS: What about you? per thread title, Are you the 'Sincere Sigamani'? or.. the one sharing life with Ankalaparameswari? or the No Such Syndrome Species? ..

 

Re: Work Life Balance: aka The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndr

Dear Spiderman,

It is a very good thread:thumbsup

I would say, balancing work and life is an art

You can't simply put the blame on your hard work/office pressure to hide your incapability of balancing a quality time for your personal life.

Either it is incapability of the spouses or they take their life and love for granted.

So, the only possible way to solve this problem is setting up your priorities straightly.

I and my DH worked for United Nations. I being international staff (in senior management level) worked in Sudan, whereas my DH worked as a National staff in India in the first level management.

So, obviously my work pressure, task, responsibilities, stress level, and expected working time and outputs are relatively higher than my husband's.
Also, I stayed in Sudan with limitted facilities, no friends/family members to care about, so I had to do all my household chores (cleaning/cooking/shopping etc...etc..) alone, whereas my DH lived with his parents, so his mom will take care of everything. So, he just had to concentrate his work matters ONLY.

But he is a poor manager, in capable of multy tasking, bad communicater... and what else should I say??????

After completing all my tasks at office, I still find time to cook, clean and chat with my other friends, family members over the phone - But I always give priority to my DH. Allocate a special time at his conveniece to talk to him.
I wait for his free time and make phone calls.... Guess what? He used to say, I am busy, working, so tired, eating, feeling so sleepy today... reasons... reasons...reasons....

I too felt tired and sleepy somedays, I too felt bodily weakness in some days, but I have never cited these reasons for not talking with my spouse in my life.

Not only talking, but to monitor the construction of our home in India, to inquire about bank rates, deposite money in the share market, and to concentrate on our business... For each and everything, he has reasons to avoid. He simply allow his dad to interfere and blindly trust whatever he decides on behalf of him.
After understanding my FIL's games, I took this matter also under my control and monitored from Sudan despite of all my other tasks.

I felt, I am not earning anything in my life other than dollars in this career oriented life with this incapable husband of mine. So, I have decided to prioritise my needs and wants - My life came before everything, hence I quited my well paid job without thinking back.

I moved back to India. Started a home for us. My DH is working, and I am helping him to complete his office tasks.
We spend quality times together now without any problems. I value this happiness than my hard earned dollars. So my career can wait for some more years.

 

Re: Work Life Balance: aka The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndr

I am one of those, whose dh cannot spend quality time at home because of his busy professional life.... He travels the world for 20days in a month....sometimes he just returns home on a saturday morning and leaves on sunday night. So, yes, you can imagine...we hardly get to spend quality time. But he calls me everyday and we catch up for 10mts....this helps us greatly to stay connected.

I will not deny that its tough......BUT.....i know he is doing great in his profession and is climbing the corporate ladder pretty fast........and this is the time he requires my moral support so he can continue to grow......any nagging or whining about his absence is only going to add to his stress levels and in turn leads to us fighing even those weekends that we get to spend.

But he tries his best to spend as much time as possible with us during the time he is at home........I know it sucks at time......but I have accepted it and keep myself busy in his absence, so when he is around i am not bitter!!

Cheers

 

Re: Work Life Balance: aka The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndr

Spiderman,

What does this mean???......The Sincere Sigamani or Attention AngaalaParameswari syndrome.