Close [X]
LOG IN
Close [X]
PLEASE LOG IN OR REGISTER

Sorry, you need to be a registered member and logged in to access this page.
Please login or register below.

REGISTER

It's easy, quick and FREE!



Like Tree5Likes
  1. #1
    momtwo is offline New ILite
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    City
    XXX
    State
    XXXX
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    16

    Default My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    We have been married for more than 10 years with 2 kids.As far I remember my husband hasn't been able to keep a job for more than 3 years.
    Recently he hasn't even lasted barely a year.Everytime a company lays off people his name is always first on the list.
    Now he is not getting any younger ..We are at the state of counting pennies while spening.Can't afford to get a house in a decent neighbourhood ,can't afford to send kids to a good school etc.
    With my meagre earning we can barely live on our money.
    He has done his engineering from the top 5 college in India and was a brilliant student.In terms of IQ he is in the top 10% even in this country.I have seen his review its always been above expectations and suddenly he gets fired/laid off.I feel he has a big ego ..and his people skills are bad.
    Something is not working out for him ,,he doesn't want to always have to listen to anyone but I told him whereever he goes he will always have a boss as he is not god.I am tired of his looking for a job over and over again ,the tensions in our life ,the bills having to pay ..
    In this economy I have to give up any hope of his getting a job.
    If I say anything to him he will say you leave me since I a failure and go .
    A relationship is not based on jobs,its based on love and trust and without him I will never be happy .But money is also very important .
    Otherwise he is a good man and a great father.
    No matter how much I explain to him he doesn't seem to change.He doesn't want to do a job anymore .I know he has a setback but give me some tips on how to give him hope.
    I am getting depressed and saying negative things to him all the time but I don't want to but can't help it.
    For the last 7-8 years he has been laid off/fired from every job.


  2. #2
    Malavika81 is offline Silver ILite
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    City
    Novosibirsk
    State
    ***
    Country
    Russia
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    Maybe the jobs that he has worked are not challenging enough for him and het gets tired of them too soon? It happens to lot of people and in this instance, that could very well be the case. Sit and talk to him about what he really wants to do in his life that will make him happy and satisfied and then help him and support him in that endeavor. Sounds like he has the potential and the ability but the opportunity is eluding him. I can understand your frustrations of him losing his job constantly which can add financial strain in your life, but maybe his skills and talents are not being harnessed in the right way. It is the bane of the modern corporate world, unfortunately. Sit and have an honest conversation with him about his long term goals and what he really wants to do and be supportive of his causes. Complaining and stressing him on his inability to retain a job is not going to help much and sometimes people need someone to support and be with them, and as his spouse, there is no better person to be his confidante than you. Hang in there and things will look up for you eventually. There is always darkness before dawn.


  3. #3
    Priya16's Avatar
    Priya16 is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    City
    xxxx
    State
    xxxx
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    3,746

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    momtwo,

    Don't feel depressed.I knew some friends in my friends circle (husband's) keep changing jobs and it's some one's personality.So don't worry and he may find another job soon and give him an encouragement in this tough economy.Don't discourage him and also I agree with Malavika.Sometimes some places and some bosses click for some people.He needs to find the right job for him and again atleast 50% people will keep changing jobs after 3 years or so.So don't worry and he will find one soon.Once the economy improves he might have more choices and he can find suitable one.
    I heard from my husband ,suppose if your husband is in high end,thost jobs are always risky ones.May be he needs to come down one or two ladder down and try to stick to more time.

    Edit:Sorry Malavika.

    Last edited by Priya16; 23rd February 2010 at 06:57 PM.

  4. #4
    Malavika81 is offline Silver ILite
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    City
    Novosibirsk
    State
    ***
    Country
    Russia
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Priya16 View Post
    Malavika,

    Don't feel depressed.I
    No I am not the one depressed or frustrated but I am guessing the OP is


  5. #5
    tashidelek2002's Avatar
    tashidelek2002 is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    City
    Delhi
    State
    NY
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    4,141

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    My guess is your husband has never been in the proper job to make him happy. I suggest that he go online and do a Meyers Briggs inventory and find out what his personality type is. From that test, he can get pointers on the type of situation that will tap into his strengths. This process helped me a lot. You know, there is a place for all of us...the tough part is finding it.

    RedRuby likes this.

  6. #6
    ShilpaMa's Avatar
    ShilpaMa is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    City
    MyCity
    State
    MyState
    Country
    India
    Posts
    2,868

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    Hi Tashi, thanks for sharing the url, i belong to ENFJ.. will read on it more.

    Momtwo, is very difficult to deal with this situation but I've lived thru it as a child.. there was absolutely no economic stability for us as well.
    However the only way out of this situation was that my mom never ridiculed dad, always supported him in what he did & told herself & us to adjust in whatever means we had.... which was very difficult and more so in the world today.

    No person can change with wife's feedback, he/she can change with their consious decision and nothing else.. so leave him to his ways.. you see if you can do something to support financially.. also if u believe in astrology check out on lucky birth stone etc.. they rarely help but some find them as motivation source.

    ivlakshmi likes this.

  7. #7
    momtwo is offline New ILite
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    City
    XXX
    State
    XXXX
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    Hi
    Thanks for all your response.I am trying very very hard to be positive but honestly I don't have any more hope anymore for him.
    He said companies are doing badly and thats why he got laid off.
    Today in one job search site I found his company has posted an advertisement for the exact position he was in.He is not in any management but rather technical position.

    I know if I show it to him he will say "I know I am a failure.You leave me and lead a happy life".
    After so many years and so many times this time I don't have the strength any more.Our kids are getting affected ,we live in a bad neighbourhood(gangs etc) and my kid who is in school has no friends.He is having trouble phsycologically.Thats why we were trying so hard to move to better neighbourhood now that is also out of scope.I am a very simple person and never asked anything ,all I wanted was to live in a decent neighbourhood where kids can play with neighbour kids.We tried making friends but the get-together happens only during birthday parties or special events as everyone lives far away.Once I overheard one of the guests(when we had invited some people ) say to another that she felt scared as she had parked her car on the street and the area is not good.I felt very depressed over-hearing that.


    Just when I thought this was all soon going to be over(we were looking to buy a home) we are back to square one.
    Sorry if I sound like a big cry baby


  8. #8
    RadiantCat is offline Gold ILite
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    City
    NA
    State
    NA
    Country
    Tonga
    Posts
    1,728

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    Why don't you return to India? You can move to a decent neighborhood and there will be more like-minded people. Ask your husband to search for jobs in India. Anyways there are more jobs in India than in the US.


  9. #9
    Priya16's Avatar
    Priya16 is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    City
    xxxx
    State
    xxxx
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    3,746

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    Dear,

    I just wanted to check with on you one thing.I don't know what state you are living though.But don't worry at this point about buying the house.
    Even in the city where I live there is good part of the city and bad part of the city.If you compare appartment rent there will be only 300-400$ difference in rent from good part to bad part unless you work place near to that place.
    Then why don't you consider to moving to good part of the city first then later you can worry about buying a house.

    Last edited by Priya16; 25th February 2010 at 08:12 PM.

  10. #10
    nmtkar123 is offline Junior ILite
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    City
    smithtown
    State
    ny
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: My husband keeps loosing his job over and over again.

    dear momtwo and tugga,
    i am reading ur blog and as if someone was narrating my life story to me all over again. just like u dealing with such for last 10 yrs, have only one child wanted to have more but had to make a choice between working and having a child not much family here. i have stopped caring now he has to learn the hard wAy not rescuing anyone anymore i am his wife not his mother. at times i have decided to quit when my son is all grown up sub kismat ki batein hain havent found any good astrologer if anyone knows one in delhi wud help. my old parents r always worried abt my son and i. just take care of urself and the kids and u will decide with time. where r u located


Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 01:41 AM.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283