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100% true. This is for all the statements given above by all. What is the role of a wife in a family? One of my friend says it sarcastically; she is all in one but none for all!!!! Does it fit any where?
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You mean to say
one for all and none for one. As opposed to the popular saying, "one for all and all for one".
I am sorry to read all of this harsh treatment of wives by their husbands and in-laws in India.
Here in USA, generally speaking, such treatment is borderline illegal and certainly court-case worthy.
Although there is beauty in "traditional cultures", I feel that for women the negativity far outweighs the positivity.
However, women are to blame for this. Unless we stick up for ourselves, who will?
It is time for Indian women to be bold and take a stand. Do not give in to unreasonable demands and do not put your life on hold for any man or his mother.
It seems that the family structure of India, of which so many Indians are proud, is actually the cause of most of the grief women in India experience.
Women spoil their male children so that they expect their wives to serve them tea from the very first day of marriage onwards. Even the mother in law expects this and thus I'm reading that if any man serves tea to his wife in bed, he has to hide that from his mother!
These things are absolutely inconceivable here in USA, unless you visit the homes of some "traditional" hindus or muslims from foreign countries. And then there is a demand that such people "assimilate" to the bigger cultural norm of gender equality.
These reasons are the same reason why my mother left India at the age of 20 and made a life for herself on her own here in USA back in the 60's. She wanted to know what it was like to be in an
equal and loving relationship with a man.
On the otherhand I know there are several
MEN who are suffering in India as well. A very good American psychiatrst friend of mine visited India recently and she came back saying that as soon as people found out she was a psychiatrist they all started opening up to her about their unhappiness in marriage, and it was mostly men who complained about a lack-lustre marriage with an unloving wife who did not know how to have fun. So I realize it's not just women who are suffering in dead-end relationships.
Something must be wrong with the fabric of the marriage system in India to have so many dissatisfied people. At least here if you are dissatisfied in marriage you can leave and make a life on your own or find another partner and nobody cares or talks about you.
In my humble opinion, gained from experience growing up as an Indian-American and seeing alot of unhappy, dry, lifeless desi marriages even here, I would say that it's an
imbalance of power that creates unhappy unions. If a female is taught from birth, either through words or the example of her mother, that her whole purpose in life is to get married to a "suitable boy" from a "good family" and act as his and his parents servant for the rest of her life, to tolerate and "adjust" as much as she can and then some more, then she grows up with an inferiority complex which is very hard to overcome. If she has no power in the family, in the marriage structure, then what is her fate? A wife is more like a child, or worse, like a servant, in a relationship where she is supposed to be a
respected equal.
To live in fear of one's in-laws or to constantly worry what they will think about how you look, eat, dress or browse the internet is in essence to live like a 10 year old child in fear of her mommy and daddy. For goodness sake, a married woman is an adult!
Ladies, I haven't been to India since 2004 but I feel I need to make another trip there soon and see what I can do create some awareness on this issues over there. I have a license in relationships counseling and I think I might put it to good use over there.
her life will never ever come again,her golden days had gone,now she'll worry abt her son/daughter's life only..poor women,she don't have any option...like that she has to live.
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