Need clarification - Divorce reason!

donot worry for the mistake you have not done.

you are not wrong in any aspect your conscience know it

Ask God to help you.

He will show his ways to lead.

My best wishes for you both to study well.

Live in relationships is common abroad but in India its a crime.

So better be away from physical relationship or get engaged and then both go for studying abroad.

Yeah she will get good amount if she proves but how will she prove when its false?

 

Hello Mythy

Please don’t be depressed. I am neither a lawyer nor a judicial officer to answer your legal questions. But technically if you are sure that you did nothing in this regard and all the complaints made by your Mami are baseless, you don’t have to worry about such unnecessary threatening. So don’t worry about this!

Of course, she will get a huge amount if she proves her point, but again how can she prove if her arguments are just false? So be relaxed.

Just for curiosity: How is your mama’s behavior towards you and other ladies in the family? How do your maternal family members treat your Mami? Do you think your mami’s sexual related talks (which you have ignored earlier) indicate any points in these problems? And finally you said your Mama lives in Middle east and how come your Mami doubts your relationship with your Mama? any specific incidents/reasons to justify her talks?

If you think it is not relevant to answer here, just ignore my questions. But in case any of these questions strikes your mind with suspicious answers, please consider a lawyer for further assistance.

As for your query about living with your fiancé in US before marriage.........
Let me pour my views here. It could be vary from other ILs, and it’s up to you to make the final decision.
I see a big RED FLAG in this regard…. Although you know him for long time, you are in love with him and your parents know him…. But still you are not married yet. Considering all such false complaints from your Mami’s end and the legal steps, there is no guarantee in your relationship.

Isn’t it possible to discuss with both parents and getting engaged before you travel to USA? If that is practical, you can also consider getting married too!
There is no big difference between living together and marriage in terms of commitment as long as you love each other. You can always postpone your family plans, babies and other investments until you are settled in your life/career. But its important that you are married before you start live together with your fiancé.

You can say that you are going to US for studies and not to live with him…. C’on my dear sister… I think I have passed your age and anything could happen if a cotton and fire stays together. I urge you to make wise and matured decisions in this regard and not to worry later.

Good luck...

 

I completely agree with prettina and suhasini.
First of all, do not worry abt the allegations ur mami put on u. When u r confident and 100% sure that nothing is wrong between u and ur uncle, then there is no reason to be worried abt. I know in this case, if ur parents had given a good support, u would've been vry complacent and relaxed. But very sorry for things r not in ur favour. And the reason ur father too has started alleging u is because he is completely dependant on ur maternal grand parents and when u all split out of their joint family, he started showing his insecurity in the form of frustration towards u by allegations which is UNACCEPTABLE.

But u can always take ur mom's help in this situation. I believe she and ur granny have trust in u and can back u up with their support because they too knew how ur mami tried to converse with u abt her sexual life. U can keep this as ur sword if anyone questions u that u were no way related to her relationship with ur uncle and it is she who crossed her limits sharing unwanted things with u for which u were always embarassed and also conveyed the same to ur elders before hand.

Though it is true that she may get a good amount of compensation from ur mama, the burden of proof lies on her to prove what she is alleging. But i smell something fishy that why ur mama left to uAE when he knows that his wife is saying all such things. He should hve taken his wife too along with hiim. It clearly shows he tried to escape from the entire scene giving more lineance to his wife to move forward. But bygones r bygones.

If ur mami was suspicious on u, she should also be suspicious on ur uncle as well for leaving her all alone and staying in UAE for long. Here u have less space to worry if she herself is a suspicious minded on everyone.

And it is none of ur business if ur mami is blackmailing ur uncle for divorce. It is their headache and u dont care or put ur mind on it.

Not to scare u and sorry for going into a bit personal, but as long as u r virgin (i definitely hope u r), no on in this world can prove u had relationships with anyone. U can take a Dr's certificate or notary of ur virginity and keep it with u (for a safe side). I know this is the WORST part of step for any woman(i am sorry suggesting this to u my dear, warm hugs). Since our legal system is blindly dependant on proofs and when nobody is there to suport u, U NEED TO TAKE SOME NECESSARY MEASURES TO PROVE URSELF. (And that too these r all necessary only when u r approached legally. I am giving u some future precautions in ur side, just to let u know ur swords, before hand. Pls excuse me i scared u)

Ok, now coming to ur fiance, first of all he is not called as ur 'Fiance'. U both r only called as 'Fiance' and 'Fiancee' when u both r engaged. That means when u call up few relatives and infront of them, u get engaged, then only, in social terms, he is called ur 'Fiance'. So in this case and situation, though u believe him to be a good person, no one is sure how the circumstances may change even our nearest people. This is a perfect example of ur father and other relatives who blamed u for nothing earlier. And even after seeing all this, i suggest u better take ur own precautionary measures to put urself in safe sides ALWAYS.

Since we are indians and still not imbibed the western culture yet, it is a wise thing to first get engaged or even getting married (BEFORE TRAVELLING TO USA or any other places for that matter) are the only two options u got to have a SAFE life hereafter. Marriage would be a best thing, if not, atleast get engaged to him which will SURELY brings u a great relief and confidence in you to tackle anyting with the help of ur 'future fiance'.

I hope u read and understand every point i made here. and dont worry about anything as long as u r RIGHT in all angles.
Wish u all the best for ur engagement/marriage , visa and a happy and peaceful life from now on.

 

I am feeling really bad abt ur situation hun ...But u need to be very strong to stand by urself.

But one thing that it is wise to not avoid is that let ur boy's parents know abt ur love life so that u can win their confidence too in crisis times(god forbid). It seems ur BF's father is matured enough that he asked him as soon as he obseved u both. If u really think that they r nice people, then i can say u should let them know abt ur love. I can understand ur fear that wht would be the situation if they come to know abt all ur past allegations and effect of ur uncle n aunty's divorce case. But if not today, tomorow atleast they will come to know abt it right?. It is better to let them know abt ur situations before hand so that they dont have any obligations in the future.

And hun, 23 is vry young age to understand a person. It means that u too r very young(than him) to judge a person at this stage. I am sorry hun to say this but pls dont jump into conclustions just by the way he talks and behaves. Humans mind change according to the age. And the true nature of person comes out only when u r in a legal relationship(marriage). Until then, no matter how long have u been together, its still the same notion that 'Mountains from long distance r vry soft', we can only see its roughness when we get closer to them.

When ur parents themselves did nt belive wht u said, how can u think an outside person just with 3 n half yrs friendship would believe in u totally and continue the same as the days pass by? (just preparing u further)

And one more thing, when ur BF did surely told his father that he loved u and wanted to take that forward, it is still in a budding stage. and now that u already got admission in the university, i think it would be safe for u to stay seperately from ur BF's apt/room when u get a chance to study in US. ( it can also mean to take a seperate apt/room to make sure u both r not living together (make sure to let ur BF's parents and aswell as ur parents know abt this that u both r staying in a seperate apts) since u both r still young to control ur instincts. Its a human nature, not ur faults).
Hope everything works fine with u. Take care and wish u good luck

 

Poor lady, she does nt know that just by saying/threatening or showing the reasons 'do not' qualify her to get more compensation. The more she alleges, the more 'burden of proof' lies on her. Let her do the hard work to show the proof she has applied the divorce for. If she is wrong, she cannot, by any cost, can prove all this. It is her headache and care least abt her.

But beware of ur uncle too. Never ever talk to him and involve urself in unnecessary problems. Try to avoid him as much as possible and if needed, tell ur parents too to avoid him or any of his contacts. Dont invite more problems with him.

 

I agree with Venusbaby here!
I can fully understand your frustration Mithy, but this is not a wise decision to delay your boy friend to inform his parents about this affair.
How long you can hide all this? If not today, you must face this situation tomorrow, so better to reveal your matter NOW and try your best to make them understand your REAL background and problems.

I would advise you not have too much of hopes in this regard until everything is sorted out, because your boy friend seems so young to make matured decisions in his life.

Being together with a girl during her ups and downs is completely different from marrying that girl and managing a peaceful life with full of background issues.
It could be just infatuation or emotional relationship or just sympathy on your personal issues that made your boy friend attracted to you. I know any girl will be fallen in love with such caring male friend who is giving his shoulder when she is down. But THIS IS NOT LOVE, Mithy. But I wish yours is a real love and it would not fade out with times!

Reveal your love matter with both sides parents and prove them how you love each other. Explain them your future study plans and progress. Consider their suggestions too!

I am sure; no parents would say best of luck for such decisions, and especially in your case you both are very young to prove your maturity level. But it doesn’t mean you should not try and prove. I wish you good luck and hope you will be able to win your future ILs hearts.
In case, both parents disagree with your marriage plans, then you must be very careful in your love. Please do not let your emotions to dominate your brain specially when you both are together in USA.

Good luck!!!!