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Dear ladies , thanks a lot for all the advise you have been giving me. But unfortunately the issues in my marriage are too many. I need your help again to gain some insight in my problems
My husband never gives me money to spend on my own, its just a 5 dollar or a 10 dollar at times, once a moth. This has been going on for over 2 years in our marriage. In the beginning I thought with familiarity he will feel more open to give me a free hand in using his money. I want to make clear that I don't use his money ever to buy unnecessary things. I understand his budget restrictions and maintain a strict way of spending whenever we go out for household shopping. I even restrain from eating out more than once a month. In fact there are times that we do not eat out even once a month.
But the problem is he never gives me money to even go on shopping for grocery on my own. If I ever tell him that I need to do grocery today, he says we will go together in evening. I don't mind it, but today when I asked him for his card so I can go on shopping for grocery on my own, he said we will do it when he's back in evening.
I am very much hurt that after more than 2 years of married life he doesn't think that I should have a say in shopping for the grocery even. My problem is I am unable to feel free to ask him for money because I am not working(being on H4) and hence their is no monetary contribution from my side to the house. But does that mean that I will always have to live as a dependent? I dont waste even a single cent, and still my husband doesn't feel free to give me money even to do grocery shopping. Is it like this in all Indian houses here in US? Does your husband give you money for house expenses even though you are not working? I want to understand how it works.
I find it strange and sometimes wonder what if I become pregnant? He won't give me a single penny and I will always feel hesitant in spending his money even when I need it badly.
Today I thought I would ask him why he is unable to trust me with his money, but I resisted as I felt like I have no right asking that as I am myself living off his income. I am not sure wether to raise this issue with him or not, and if yes what should I ask him? I am very much hurt and feel like I have no rights. I grew up in a familuy where I remember since chilhood that my Dad gave my Mom money to spend on home every month and his salary and details were always know to my Mom. I am in a bad situation here with no job, career or future and a husband who doesn't even give me the right to do household shopping.
Please help me understand how much right a wife has to ask his husband to trust her with his money. And wether this issue is wotrth raising to my husband or not? Please help me.