Parents want me to get married - what is the right age for marriage?

Dear Sulochana ,

Both you and your parents are right in your own ways ! This is because both do not think on same lines. So both of you need to arrive at one solution.
Your parents feel it could be difficult later is practical from their experiences. But end of the day definitly it has to be your decision as well ! Compatibility and everything comes later.. it should be a ' decision ' from your side first ! I am not talking about choice. That is upto you and your parents. You will have to sit down your parents to a heartfelt talk. Tell them why you dont want to get married now .. It could be because of career, you just are expecting a promotion, you want to earn a little more and do some investments for your future and be around as only their daughter for some more time ! Whatever it maybe.. just talk to them !
If you reluctantly go for marriage.. you will always carry that feeling in your mind.. and may get into some kind of suffocation ! So it must come from within you that you are ready to plunge as a wife ! That is another different role you will have to play ! So reason out your stand to them.
You could also broaden your views by saying what you look for in a groom. They could always start the search by next year and you could take another 6 months if things did finalise. Give your parents a little and wait for a little from them ! I am sure they will understand if you have an open talk. Do not go beyond 28 or 30 just for no reason.. It is going to be fine if you are healthy but however.. My mommy used to say women used to get married that early in older times because they tend to start lookin old after 30 and that is when man starts becoming a hunk ! So before all this happens... if the man and woman have reached an understanding then the wrinkles dont matter !! Logical !! But this was when love marriages where a sin and women were not career oriented !
So when parents say something there could be a reason behind you know ! Maybe outdated but then it is quite a reason !!

The right age to get married - is when you feel

" Marriage can be a joy too " !!

Take care !!

 

Dear Sulochana,
My opinion, your parents are right about the limited choice once the girl crosses 25. Boys nowadays tend to marry before they reach 28, and since most prefer a minimum of 1 year age gap , '28' makes "groom hunting" a little difficult. And it is always better if your first delivery is in your 20's. It is easier for your body to bounce back. So, let your parents start searching for groom now. You will get enough time to choose and eliminate the profiles.
My parents started searching a groom for me when I reached 24, and I married when I was 26. I confess sometimes, I wish I had married 'J' a little earlier, so that we could have more carefree times together.
All the best:thumbsup.
Nitha

 

Hi Sulochana,
Even I was facing a similar situation when I was 26
My parents wanted to start searching a groom, and I was reluctant. When my parents asked me when I was 25, I told them, I will mentally prepare myself for wedding so you can start looking out next year...and then when they asked me the next year, I still wasn't ready...I guess I've never really been excited about marriage....I always felt single life was the best so didn't want to get married and lose my freedom so soon :hide:
Also, I was 3 yrs into my career, had a housing loan in my name, wanted to go to US and earn in $$ (Yeah that also was on the "to do" things before getting married )
Basically I was just finding reasons not to get married;
But finally said "ok" to start looking out for a groom basically because it may take a year for everything to finalize...But everything happened so quickly and I got "my man" within one month!!!!

Now I think that I should have gotten married (to the same person of course) before 2 years so that I could have lots more of "just us" time before thinking of our "generation next"

I did never feel "ready" or whatever it is that you should be feeling before I said 'yes' to my parents. I always felt, let some more time go by, then i'll be ready...Maybe if you are in love, you'll feel ready to get married. In an arranged marriage, I dont know whether everyone "feels ready"! I know I didnt! bonk But now, I do feel that I should've got married earlier (worth repeating)

So yea, unless you have a very good reason, this is just about the right age to get married Good luck!!!

 

awww, that is very sweet Vidhiya.

Good luck Sulochana! I think marriage at or before 28 is best, that way you are able to have 1st child before 30. I have read that child after 34 is difficult. I got married too early maybe, 19. But when you are married to someone you love, the only thing you think is... I wish I had known them even earlier! :kiss

Good like finding your "happily ever after"!

 

Dear,

Even if your parents are looking for a suitable boy, it may not happen now with all the compatibility and other aspects. Why worry it will happen when it has to happen.
Let your parents do their duty,you enjoy your life, we will cross the bridge when it comes to.
Sometimes you may change your mind when you meet Mr Right. Allow things to happen instead of overly worrying.
May God bless you
Jaya

 

Hey this is he right age to get married...let your parents start the process. There are so many things like compatibility, h/s matching (if you see though), family background. There is no guarantee you might get married the next day it might even take a year or so. I married at 28 but now i feel like i could have met my hubby at 20. Let them start the process and you relax...time will take care

 

i honestly don't think 25 is too young.. i got engaged at 25 and got married at 26.. but then again I met DH at 22 :cheers and though we discussed marriage, i didn't see myself married at that age.. but at 25, it seemed right and it takes about year to get everything wedding related organized in NY, including visas for relatives :crazy and work wise it worked out as well.. so 26 it was.. and sometimes I feel maybe I should have gotten married earlier.. :hide: (I will never admit to that in front of my parents though) so let your parents look.. if its meant for you get married at 28, you will meet your match then.. so enjoy the process of elimination and have fun!! :cheers:thumbsup

 

i know,end of the day, compatibility is what matters in marriage,not age, but again, for biological and socieital pressue reasons, what do you think about the right age of getting married
please share you experience and suggest me on this....
- suloch[/quote]

The 'right' age is when you are mentally ready foir it.. You're educated . self sufficient, & only You know your biological clock best,,, Dont let anybody force you into soemthing you are not emotionally ready for... Yea, the Indian millieu is such that most of the guys get snapped up , but among the ones who still remain single are a chunk of guys who fgeel the same way about life as you do & wd be compatible with your way of thinking, ( of course you do have to weed out the 'momma's boy' losers that no one wd or shd touch with a barge pole, the one's who think that they are gods gift to women, & have their nasty moms boosting their egos!), so take your time & remember every man is one in a million ( there may be 999,999 others like him! )

 

Hi dear,

See,practically speaking..for professional girls like us...we may think more about our career than getting married at the right age. This happens to many girls these days since many of them are educated. Some of them give importance to personal life and get married at the right age and others think career is more imp. I do support both categories of ppl since they are correct in their situations.
Like...for eg...i was working before getting married in a instrumenation company in bangalore. I was excited abt my job since it was a guy kinda job...all instruments etc. But,then my father expired and i had to think abt my mum. We were financially well off, so i had no responsibilities to finish. So,just took time and gave it a thought.
And accepteed the first alliance that came. I worked for a few months after wedding and then resigned to come here to US on dependent visa to join my husband.
I know that..i may have ruined my career since i have worked in that company for only 1 yr(which is not enough in my field) ...but..i know that i have done my part to make my dad's soul happy who passed away without seeing my wedding. He just saw my bro's wedding, 3 yrs back.

So,My suggestion would be to say okay to ur parents da.
Yellam nalathu ke nadakum ma. Have trust in God.
All the best. Do let us know abt ur marriage...

Take care,
c ya
Priya