My life after marriage...

hsgirijamba · Dec 2, 2008

Hi all

i was married in February 1978. My husband was my mother's close relative. He was working as a clerk in bank then. Getting a bank employee son-in-law was my parents' pride. I was also working as a typist. For them getting a working daughter-in-law was also a pride since i was the only graduate among 4 daughters-in-law.

My husband was staying in Hubli. When the alliance was fixed, he came to see me and brought a green satin printed saree with blouse stiched (back button). I was suprised to see the blouse was stiched to my measurement. I value it as a lovelt gift. Then the marriage was over and settled happily.

Coming to my in-laws, my father-in-law liked me very much. I had no problems at my in-laws house.

thanks to you all.

Priya_Mommy · Dec 2, 2008

Re: Forum of the month - December - Marriage, Spouse & In-Laws

Hi Mrs. girijamba

Thanks for sharing your happiness with us.
THis is expected from such senior ppl like Mrs. girijamba, how they are happily settled in marriage life.
Every women life, eventhough they are happily settled, may be once or twice we may be hurt by spouse or inlaws, but we shouldn't come to a conclusion as soon as we hurt.
So, patience is expected from Women's end especially thts what I usually hear from some senior and elder people.

Anyways, I too have a loving husband and ofcourse good inlaws, but not at all times they are good.
May be what I understood from elders is marrital bliss will increase patience especially in women's life.

saikeerthana · Dec 3, 2008

I agree with you very much Priya mommy.In my experience i'm still not able to say my IL are good / bad. I've experienced both extremes (Good / bad)from them. ya my MIL has and is irritating ,but sometimes she's really good .i've posted so many threads complaining on her ,when i'm totally frustrated by her acts .Yes i'm planning to post a thread saying some good acts of her too.but i'l think and do it shortly.Whenever i feel good about her and think of posting ,but same day i'l get irritated of some reason and i'l not.
But anyways ,we are complaining from our end .Maybe there could be an other story from their end saying "MY IRRITATING DIL",chances are there cos i'm not perfect.
Everything is part of life and should forget and forgive to lead a happy family.

sai

hsgirijamba · Dec 5, 2008

Hi Priya,

thanks.

Regarding the relationship between husband and wife and MIL, from my experience as well as what i have studied and understood, the DIL has to have utmost patience in dealing with both these characters. There are always ups and downs in a relation. It is on the part of woman only to rekindle it and make it smooth sailing.

Also, as a woman we are expected to make more adjustments in our new home.

Hope you will agree with this.

thanks again.

ars · Dec 6, 2008

True DIL should have patience. But it doesnot have happen all the time.

Some times DIL's walk in with a mind set of looking at negative in even every positive actions of the IL's. Instead of communicating with IL's and maintaining the relationship with IL's all they do is fill their husbands ear for him to take action and the DIL's act like goody two shoes.

At such time I think IL's should have all the patience with their DIL and Son.

vinnyvishy · Nov 2, 2009

hi Iladies
reg DIL adjusting in a new house
I think every new DIL adjusts to the situation there
and closes her mouth tight even when unwanted things happen
just b'cos she's new & she knows very well that she's supposed to adjust
My main doubt here is that every MIL is first crosses the role of DIL & then comes to the position of MIL but we cant see that at all
DILs usually get irritated when they're being blamed for everything.
why do MILs always complain abt their DILs to anyone & everyone????
I've been married for 6 yrs & everything went on smoothly till 5 1/2 yrs
suddenly my MIL started complaining for each & everything
all these days I was the best DIL in the whole world for her.
I can understand her insecured feeling/ possessiveness but even for that there is a limit.
If the MILs r so harsh on us then how do they expect us to be very friendly????
good luck bye bye
-vinnyvishy