Married ladies' issues with maids..pls advice

Yes, this is a constant refrain from employers. And to some extent it is true .

As I see this is a great divide between Us Vs Them on both sides. As you don't trust the maids, maids also do not trust the employers.

Think about it. Your maid is the original working woman. She leaves her home, kids and toils thru the day. Most of the time SHE has no help at home to help her out. A lot of times she has an abusive husband and she is the sole source of income.
The inflation is for everyone. Her domestic and household expenses have also gone up, mostly her children are in good schools, so you cant expect to pay old salaries.

Most of the time she is running from one house to next as she wants to earn maximum in 24 hours. Then if you ask her to do something extra for which she has to put extra time she expects to be paid as the next house will be strict on time. Why is that unreasonable? Dont blue collar workers get paid overtime?

Many working people are taking loans from the company they are working for , well she is working for you so who else will she go to?

Re the theft , most of the petty theft is because of our carelessness. Don't tempt a poor person by leaving things around.

We are scared of her leaving us as we cant find another "trusted" one. But do we trust her? Is she allowed even to make her own tea? Most of the maids do not take good care of themselves and are worn out physically and mentally by the time they are 50. Then they are really in bad shape, they have no insurance cover, no medical aid almost no savings. Have you seen such pathetic women? Then the employers they worked for do not care for them.

When we are working we expect raise every year or so. Do we give it to the maids too?

I would suggest get her to open a bank account, get her the Insurance cover, Open a PPF account for her and put part of her salary everymonth there. That will be forced savings for her. pay for at least one of her child's education, see she has good meals and does not subsist on sugary teas. Get her new clothes at least once a year. Yes, this is rather expensive, but just think, can WE survive without her? What is the price for our survival?

This is a totally unorganized sector and is open to abuses from both sides. This needs to be regulated and clear rules put in place. All over the world, Africa, Far East Middle East there are servants , but they are protected by strict rules.

In Zibambwe even 5 mnts extra over 8 hours merits overtime.
In Singapore you pay by the hour to the local help , and if you keep a foreign one, they are provided 1 months paid leave and return ticket as well as medical.
Everywhere one day a week is totally off.

To get trust WE have to build trust first.

 

Maids are no different from any other employees; hence their demand for a raise in salary, loan, leave and respect at the work place should be considered as a mater of working conditions anyway.

They are also human beings. Can't expect every maid to be intelligent, trust worthy, and diligent. There are some bad ones too, just like bad staff in any office.

I pay my maid some rs 10,000 INR per month, for working 20 days in a month (Weekends are off) and for 8am,-4pm job. She is not a cook, but she cleans the vessels, cleans the washrooms, cleans the garden area and of course sweep, mob the floor.
We do the laundry, but she dries the cloths, and never folds.

She eats, takes breaks, have tea etc.. within that 8 hr job. So, can't expect more work from her.

So, compared to what we pay for a maid, I see you are paying very less for so much work.
They are also humans. Just because they are available in India for cheap rate, doesn't mean they are less of human beings.

 

While clearly understanding the life of a young Indian married couple's practical issues, and empathize with them for their difficult state of life, I stress my point on the above subject, perhaps in a clearer manner.

What I see as a full time job of a maid in my area, seems to be the part time job for the maids in your description.
Cleaning vessels, moping/sweeping floor, bathroom cleaning, washing/drying cloths etc...
Look, these are the works in general.
Just because a maid works 8hrs doesn't mean she mops/sweeps the floor 8 times and cleans the vessels 8 times.
Just that she has enough time to slowly do her tasks in a neat manner.

I've seen maids work here for part time. But they are offered just one or 2 tasks of the lot. Just moping and washing, for the said pay.

But expecting a maid to do a full time chore (I mean everything mentioned in the list) in a few hrs, that too in a perfect way for a part time salary is not just reasonable. This is exactly what I mean.

 

1. Maids are asking more money these days..

Well depends on perspective..for the amount of work they do and for my own comfort its a small and affordable price for me. Many people spend a lot more on dining out or on a nice saree to attend a wedding which will never be worn again. So why not on a maid who helps throughout the month.

2. Quality of work very poor

This is a tricky area...try negotiating and if it doesn't work out try to find some other maid. But first keep expectations realistic. They will never do they way you do.

3. It's ok for maids to take about 2 leaves a month but they exceed.

Will we be willing to work without weekends? Even they can't. If your situation demands that you have a maid on all seven days of a week, try to find 2 maids for different tasks.

4. Some ladies told me that items have gone missing from their homes when maids came to do work.

Big red flag. Fire the maid immediately after confirmation.

5. Biggest nuisance is that they demand money always.

Again negotiate. And this one is completely dependent on trust and the amount they are asking.

 

I empathize with your situation OP. The rule I follow is 1K for 1 hour - minimum wage - for non-cooking related tasks. Cooking is much more expensive. Instead of paying by the chores, pay by the time. That way they are forced to spend that much time in your house and which hopefully translates to better quality of work. When they exceed the time even by a few minutes (due to guests), I pay a the next hour's salary extra w.o asking.

Then I prefer having more than 1 maid so that the total work that needs to get done gets done sooner. And there is also a healthy competition between the maids to do good quality work. They always have to work in different parts of the house at a point in time - of course they will also chit chat over coffee etc but that is their "work break". That way if one of them is off, the other can cover for you - also make that expectation from the beginning. But PAY EXTRA for the extra work one of them did for you.

Also tell the maids that you will not cut any salary for informed leaves but will cut for uninformed leaves. But do not cut salary when u actually come to it - they will have more respect for you that way and you are trying to bring out the best in them.

Having said all this, I have my share of maid woes. Lastly, I see what I pay them as doing my bit back to the society - with enough returns -

Loans are the trickiest. with some experience with them I know who will last and I do not mind loaning them - up to a year of their salary after knowing them for say five years really well.... but for the first few months to a year, I avoid loaning of any kind. And I say that upfront when i hire them.

And finally what I have realized - howmuch ever you pay however good the maid is, she cannot reach my expectation of well the job should be done - I have learnt to let go - if I need more perfection, I have to do it myself. So its a balance.. somedays I do and most days I can live with less than perfect.

 

Dear Generic,

I understand your concerns very well.

This issue of maids is worldwide.

I do not even want to go into the details of what their tantrums are on this part of the world.

There are machines avaialble to do all the work. I am sure you have a washing machine. Buy a dish washer too.
Make a time table. Do laundry twice a week and iron the clothes once a week.
Operate the dish washer once at night everyday.
Divide the chores equally among yourself and husband.

Sweeping and mopping is the tricky part. Sweeping can be done by you if you live in a 2BHK. Do mopping alternately.

CLean toilets twice a week.

The best thing is to do all the work ourselves with the help of machines. There is no need to encourage their bullying.

I see these people jobless in the next 10-15 years. Our mothers/MILs are conditioned to have maids at home. We must make a change with our generation.
Our husbands are not shy of helping us at home like our fathers/FILs are.
When the maids will realise we are not dependant on them, then they will soon come to their senses.

Just give it a try for one month. It will help the pcos and you and your hubby will also get fitter. :thumbsup

P.S - For all of you empathising the maids and comparing their work etiquette with our, here is the latest I can recall from my own experience. Since yesterday was month end, my mother gave the monthly salary to our maid on Saturday, and it was also to be her last month with us.
She had already taken 1000 extra from my mother in advance. My mother is getting older and did not remember she had given the advance, the maid happily took the whole salary and did not bother to tell that she already has 1000 in advance.
After that my mother has been trying to reach her on the phone but......... you guessed right, her phone is out of service!

 

I take a mediclaim policy for Rs.6000 every year, for my maid, her husband ( who works as a labourer) and her two sons. Every year I am renewing it.

Every year, some of these four fall ill, needing in door treatment. Using the Policy, they get an expenditure free quality treatment from the best hospitals of the City. Otherwise, in the past , without mediclaim, she admited them in Govt hospitals.

Now seeing the quality medical treatment, she and her loved ones are getting year after year, she has become very very loyal to me. She is thankful to me. I pay her Rs.2500 to her, for cooking three times in a day, cleaning utensils, washing the clothes (of three members of my family) and cleaning the house.

I started with Rs.1000 per month, ten years back. Every year I give her a salary rise of around Rs.250 and now she has reached Rs.2750 per month.

For me, I am ready to pay her more also, because she cooks so nicely, honest does every work sincerely, thanking me every day for the quality medical care she and her loved ones get during their illness.

Fortunately or unfortunately, her loved ones fall ill so often and need hospitalization also, often, making her loyal to me again and again

 

This is by far the mooooost sadist statement I have ever read on this forum!

Instead of silencing the members on this forum when they give their opinion on various issues and asking them to nod their heads in agreement to some members who you worship on this forum, why don't you yourself draw some inspiration from these 'godlike' members?

Do these 'doctors' who you idolise also treat their maids the way you do? Do they also feel fortunate when their maid's family falls ill so that their maids have nowhere to go but to beg to them for help and inturn become submissive to them?

Taking mediclaim for maids is optional and one should not be judgemental about it, but to cash in on a maids pain and sorrow like you is way too oppressive!