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Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost value

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by iyerviji, Nov 25, 2015.

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Nov 25, 2015 #1
iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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Most of the love story is nice at the beginning but when they dont end up in marriage its so sad. In some cases love happens at first sight and if it continues till the end then it is true love. When love happens in young age there is a nice feeling when they see the person whom they love, heart beats dak dak. There is a feeling of happiness, pain, caring, excitement , it cant be express in words , you have to experience it then only you know how it is.Falling in love is a beautiful feeling and noone escapes in life except a few.Love gives a wonderful feeling, its a magic word and is colourful and full of happiness. When we love somebody if it is not reciprocated we feel very sad ,love should be from both the persons , then only it gives happiness.

Even after marriage love can happen when the couples love each other, decide everything together , adjust with each other and ego should not affect them. When they understand each other then life becomes easy and there are no misunderstanding between the couple.

I have already written about my story and got many feedbacks. Now why I am writing is I had to adjust a lot to be happy now. We both very different but as a good girl I always listen to him and till this date I have never said anything against when he tells me anything. Sometimes he does what I dont like but then I think that is his way and forget.

Earier I could not understand him but now after retirement and after my children have settled we being together have understood each other very well. Day by day our love is increasing and I pray to God it should last till the end.

I am writing my experience because I want all married couples to be happy and try to understand each other. In young age we dont understand as we grow older only we understand so we should not lose the relationship.Earlier days those who fell in love could not get married, later they become good friends because they dont want to lose a good friend.
Earlier days those who fell in love could not get married, later they become good friends because they dont want to lose a good friend.

Whatever I could not express I found from my best friend Goggle
[h=1]Every marriage does not have a happy ending. All love stories are not magical. All couples dont end up being together till eternity and all lovers dont end up being soul mates. But love is still the essence of all beautiful relationships. No matter what the future holds for you, love as soulfully as you can, as beautifully as you can, and for as long as you can. Pour your heart out and share everything with your partner each day. Spend quality time with each other and travel to the depths of each others souls. Life changes in a blink and you may not be together forever but the breathless moments spent together will remain in your heart foreverÂ¦[/h]

Beauty ,truth ,friendship ,love ,creation these are the great values of life we can’t prove them,or explain them, yet they are the most stable things in our lives.

The money that I earned in my life I can bring them with me.What can I bring with me I’m just the memories strengthened by love.
This is the real wealth that will follow you, take you, will give you the strength and the light to go forward.
Love can travel for a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. You reach the quotes that you want to reach. It’s all in your heart and in your hands.
What is the bed more expensive in the world? The hospital bed.
You can hire someone to drive the car for you, that you gain for you, but you can’t have someone you don’t mind the disease in your place.
The material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when you lose: the life.

iyerviji, Nov 25, 2015

iyerviji, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #2

vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

Mami,

It is very true and I know it with experience.

We are immature immediately after marriage and especially arranged ones we never get to know the other person in our life. It takes for some a short duration and some others longer but that is not the point, the point is that they understood the other one in life and are happier with living him/her.

We have happiness in the small things of life and they are not definitely not brought by money or wealth. Otherwise only rich and well off people will be laughing and smiling in this world. But that is not the case, as well all know.

We do appreciate the meaning of life as well as love as we grow older and definitely life is the greatest teacher one can have and I hope everyone learns the best in that teachings. Thanks for the thread.

vaidehi71, Nov 25, 2015

vaidehi71, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #3

iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

Thank you for making my day with your first response @vaidehi71, Vaidehi dear , glad you agree with me. ,Yes dear you are right in arranged marriage it takes time to understand each other but in the end if they understand each other they live happily
By your posts I can understand that you have understood life very well with your experience and you adjust wherever necessary. Your parents must be proud of you. God bless you

iyerviji, Nov 25, 2015

iyerviji, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #4

divshiri87 Gold IL'ite

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

Viji ma, It really touched my heart. Whatever you wrote is true. I am not experienced one to explain more however i do understand that there should be love between couples to lead their happy life till end. I understood one thing after marriage that both should adjust themselves. I was not kinda girl who adjusts. Mine is love marriage and my hubby is so adjustable. I am trying to adjust myself and finding happiness in adjusting too which i never thought.

Thanks for sharing your experience viji aunt and vaidehi aunt..

divshiri87, Nov 25, 2015

divshiri87, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #5

surekhap Platinum IL'ite

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

Vijiamma yes as years passes the relationship between a couple deepens.
Ours is an arranged marriage and we both are just opposite poles in all the matters.

In the early years we had tom and jerry fits, then came space to adjustments, and later adjustments turned to understanding.

After 10 years I and him became We. I just don't know when and how it happened but it happened.

I never new on the day of my marriage that there will be so much love between us.
But the time we spent together just changed every thing. Now we memorize the fights of your early years and laugh at the situations.

surekhap, Nov 25, 2015

surekhap, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #6

yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

Very nice post Viji ma'am.It indeed is true that most marriages settle down over a period of time,and in such marriages the bonds become stronger over time.
The good memories keep increasing and finally overtake the bad ones.

Most of these involve adjustments from both parties. Some adjust less and some adjust more.
Most of us women keep a count of the adjustments we make and remember them for life.
Men also make these adjustments over time but most do not keep count and don't harp about them like we do.

I Know how much my husband has adjusted to settle down in this marriage and even more once the kids came into our life.

Lucky are people like us who eventually snuggle into these happy places we call our marriages.

Still there are so many marriages that stay intact but never attain happiness.
Marriages where only one party adjusted,marriages when the compromises from the other party came too late ...long after the other partner left the marriage emotionally.
Some that stay just for the sake of the kids and become empty shells after the kids leave. Some who live under the same roof because they have no other option . These are sad cases that reach the end of the race too...but too battered to care about it.

We all who have reached the happy state should thank our stars for being with the right person and having enough right circumstances to keep hope when times were tough.

We should all pray for the ones who didn't make it to the happy place because of whatever circumstances they encountered and whatever cards life dealt them...because no one wishes to live a sad life .Everyone started wanting a happy life.Some encounter too many storms,some aren't strong enough.....but they all wanted to be happy.They all tried in ways they could.

yellowmango, Nov 25, 2015

yellowmango, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #7

Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

iyerviji said: ↑

... when the couples love each other, decide everything together , adjust with each other and ego should not affect them. When they understand each other then life becomes easy and there are no misunderstanding between the couple.
Click to expand...

Good one, Viji.

It is the doing things together, small small things, little everyday chores, fun things, and small traditions that get started by themselves, deciding things together, coupled with some adjustment, and helped by the inherent ingrained value that separation/divorce is more for dire unsalvageable situations... and the couple reaches a state where rather than looking into each other's eyes, they are looking together ahead.

Rihana, Nov 25, 2015

Rihana, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #8

jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

Dear Viji,
You are correct.In arranged marriages love starts only after the marriage.It may take years before the couples understand each other.Mutual trust and confidence keep the marriage in tact irrespective differences arising then and there.
Jayasala 42

jayasala42, Nov 25, 2015

jayasala42, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 25, 2015 #9

pinkydarling Platinum IL'ite

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

Very Nice and usefull post vijju ma.
Me and my Hubby Believes A squre formula.

Adjustment and Acceptance is very Important for in Any Relation.

pinkydarling, Nov 25, 2015

pinkydarling, Nov 25, 2015

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Nov 26, 2015 #10

iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Theolder I get the more I realize that the things that costnothing,hold themost v

@divshiri87 dear glad you liked the post and it touched your heart. Yes dear in marriage adjustment is necessary from both the couple,but usually men expect adjustment from ladies. Glad to know your husband is adjustable, I think you should also adjust then your life will be happy. Hope you dont mind my saying like that

iyerviji, Nov 26, 2015

iyerviji, Nov 26, 2015

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