My anniversary gift

Tomorrow is my 7th marriage anniversary and got the gift one day in advance. And the gift made me come and vent at this forum. My marriage is facing the worst time now.

A brief about me. Mine is love marriage and like most of other cases I could not see the true colours. He is jobless since last 6 yrs. I said no problem we can manage, first mistake. I was 9 months pregnant at that time. He took good care of me at that time. Once I joined office my mom used to take care of my kid. What was he doing no idea. He joined a company after 6 months but could not adjust there. He wanted to quit because of office culture and I once again said it's OK. It hardly matters who is earning we can mange. Had an argument with my father once and then the baby sitting stopped. My kid was 1yr 9 months. My DH had to take care of my kid there after. Although things got sorted out with my father but the baby sitting never started again, thankfully. Had few ups and downs in life but things were moving. He was upset because even his own mom never treated him well as he had no job. I always pretended that I am dependent on him and that he is important for me so that he never losses his self confidence, was such an idiot.

We planned for second baby and god accepted the request. And then during my eight month my MIL sensed that she has the power to ignite fight between us and there she starts her game. From that day two things changed: there was daily call from her to my DH and there was daily fight between us. Reason unidentified. Suddenly I become the culprit in his life. He believes that he is the servant as he is doing household chores. And I am living the life of a princess who simply goes to office, will press a button a get tea, will have lunch and roam here and there and it's done. Come home eat dinner and that's all. After all I am just cooking breakfast cleaning kitchen washing clothes and feeding my DD during weekdays. And on weekends get up late cook meals clean kitchen and home and feed DD. he on the other hand gets up early daily. Prepares tea for himself. Cooks lunch for himself and DS. Makes him do his HW. cooks dinner. And take care of DD whole day and lot more which I have no idea because I am self centred person who doesn't care for anybody. We are not talking since when I don't even recall now. I have lost him or should I say how can I lose him he was never mine, but now he has lost me.

Coming back to present: Yesterday my DH asked me that I look sad and idiot me told him that I am having periods pain. And today when I reached home from office at 9 pm he was lying on sofa. I cooked food along with looking after my DD who wanted feed. Then all had dinner. He went to sleep. My DS,s uniform needed iron ( it was the one I washed in morning before going to office) my DD was not ready to get down from my arms. Kitchen Sink was full. I completed them one by one starting with taking care of my little one. I finished it all now. It's 40 mins past mid night. I don't feel like sleeping. I want to cry out loud and ask him why but I am tired of banging my head against wall. Sorry ILs I need to vent badly as tomorrow I will have to smile whole day in office after all its special day for me. It's my marriage anniversary.

 

@akanksha1982, i have given him this shocker. Earlier i used to say that i will quit. When this time he said i say all this to threaten him only, I knew something else should be done. Thanks to IL I got this idea. I sent an email to my manager with bcc to my husband for resignation. I informed my manager that pls ignore my mail will talk to you tomorrow in office about this. My manager is also good friend of mine so this worked. He knew my husband is not working but was not aware of his behaviour with me. He was stunned to know that. My DH on the other hand now accuses me of running away from my responsibilities. I told him that I will just serve the 3 months notice period and then will take care of home and kids permanently. Not sure what he is thinking now. But when I told him that he will have to take care of his wife and kids his response was awesome. He said I (me) always say that my parents will take care of me and my kids so why should he take care of us. He will manage his life by whatever means I need not worry.

Not able to decide who is running from his responsibility.

 

@indoc, you made my day as my DH always say that I don't have patience and that's the reason of issues between us.

He did his MA from distance learning method. Nothing after that. He takes care of kids and home.

 

Thanks @jas8085 for your hugs I badly need them. Yes I am in IT but have no plans to move at this point of time. I need to think on that part.