Advice pls

Just remove his access to your account or open an account in your name and start putting your money there. Tell him he needs to come clean on all the previous transaction and regain your trust. Period. Be firm.

 

Dear am sorry to say but how can u blindly trust . Get clear about property he bought .on whose name it is.if he doesn't want to reveal just deny access to your account ...wakeup atleast for ur kids ... I didn't understand how can he take loan without your knowledge . Please. Wakeup

 

More than the monies that were drained, the 'trust' thing must be hurting your bad.

Hugs to you!!

 

1. stop his access to all your accounts.
2. Create a joint account and BOTH of you contribute equally to it and run the house with that money
3. Both of you must print out statements of your individual accounts and show to each other

You may have to fight a BIG battle to achieve this. Some battles are worth it.

 

i think you should have hold on your money and account urself. tell him tactfully that u will now manage ur own accounts as u ur other friends also do same.
but what i feel and experience is that at some point people start taking us for granted. and that we need to speak out to gain our confidence and retain our self respect.
there must be more than this he is hidding from u. wake up sooner the better

 

It is not an ideal situation. There is nothing wrong in discussing about it with him.

You must take control of your account. There is no need to think twice about it. It is your right. If he agrees to share household accounts, that's fine. You can contribute your portion every month for the common expenditure. Rest of the transactions should be done with mutual consent and understanding.

I wouldn't have written this, if he was handling your account with total transparency. He has even taken a loan without your consent / knowledge. Its a warning. I see no reason to feel shy or refrain from asking for independency.

All the best.

 

Something is definitely wrong. Please take control of your income. Get a separate account and start college funds for your kids. Also plan for insurance and retirement funds in Your name. Determine what household expenses you want to contribute and fix to them. Lets say you want to take control of groceries and kids expenses or lease/home payments. Stick to that. Communicate it to your husband. Say this have to be followed and he needs to take care of all other expenses. Else you can also decide on a fixed amount you both will contribute for expenses.

If you want to you can share a record of all your income and expenses and savings with your husband. That is completely dependent on your comfort levels. But be rigid and enforce rules about saving from your income.

Your husband will surely try to get back at you. He may try to call you names, emotionally manipulate you or abuse you. Be prepared. Try not to dig past in the early stages. It may be too much in a short span. Once you get control of your current income and future planning, you can think about getting details about past.

Remember its your income you don't need anyone permission to save it for your kids future.

 

Keep very less amount in the account. Withdraw the money required for the month and create a long term Recurring deposit or variable recurring deposit with auto debit from account each month after salary date. once the RD matures, change it to Fixed 5 yr term deposit.. Tell him that RD/FD is for your children and not for any other purpose.