letters to the spouse?

The result depends on the receiver. My friend always writes letters to her hubby, gets the things sorted out. It works for her. But in my case I never got reply, so I stopped doing that.

 

I always write emails after a fight because i find it easy to write our problems than fighting. So i just write my stand my points everything and make him respond too..so our fights automatically transforms into discussions and get solved..so writing letters does work.

 

Before marriage I used to write long mails to my DH and all I got was "OK, Take care, Bye" ..

But after marriage whenever we have fights, he writes loooooong mails.. and it works.

 

Writing a letter has its own advantages. One can formulate what he/she wants to say, and think how the other is going to take what you wrote. You can change it, if you think the way you wrote wont make your point effectively. However, when you are communicating, you cant do that. If you get response back, you again get time to formulate your response. When dh and I both do this, it works

Writing wont help if you just write the same exact words that you would speak (without editing) instead. If that makes sense. When one of us is angry/misunderstands the first message, our written conversation is nothing different than verbal argument.

 

Writing emails / texts never worked for us. Im the one who used to write my feelings things he hurted me etc, he either used to ignore or used to reply back with so hurtful words, never ending email chain with hurtful words used to make situation worse. So i stopped writing emails/texts.

So may be it works for some couple and may be not for some.

 

It will work, if your spouse has a short-term memory ;-)
Sometimes whatever you have told in the mail will seem relevant for the current issue but might backfire when u read at a later stage(after a few months/years) So both should agree on deleting the thread after the issue is sorted out. When we mail on a bad mood, we seem to be impulsive and might exaggerate things just to stress on your point. Later it might be a reason for new issue
Mailing each other definitely solves the "current" issue.. ;-)

 

I wrote a long mail to him once but failed miserably...never wrote any letter to him after that