am not happy :(

Hi ladies,

I feel that my h is not at all romantic t me. We r married for 3 yrs now.. we have a 1yr old baby. Initially few days after marriage he was taking me out n making me happy but once his mom started telling that wen we go for movies in eve she started saying that for night dinner she needs my help.. we r in a joint family.. me , h, mil,fil,bil,co-sis..big family..
So wen his mom started saying he stopped from taking me to movies.. so I had to nag him to take me to movies and take me out .. nowadays he doesn’t take me out anytime.. he doesn’t buy me any gifts..nothing.. even if I ask him to buy me a dairy milk while coming back frm offc he doesn’t..
Nowadays we go out only dor my sons vaccination or any other doctor related stuff for my son.. I know that he s scared that if hhe takes me out his mom might say something n lead t a fight.. mil n my relation r not good.. in my inlaws place my relation with all except h is not good… and the reason is not me..

Really I crave /die to go out with him romantically by holding his hands n roam around city in his bike… but he doesn’t.. today in my offc one gal same of my age..she also has 1 baby 2 yrs.. but difference is she is not in a joint family.. she said that this week end she went out with her h.. n did shopping ate out and had fun.. she said that her h forced to take dress even she din want to.. really after hearing this I wanted to go out same like this with my h.. so I called n told him..n he started accusing me saying he s not happy in his home coz of me only.. the probs I have created with mil n others.. he says I only created all probs… n he said that wen he is not happy how can he take me out .. he said his family peace n his went coz f me..
N wen I said u should take me out..then he said – ok I will take u out..thats all u want rught? He said as if im the bad one who craves for such things n he s putting these things to me as if to a beggar.. like –chi idhu dane venum unakku.. like insulting n throwing wish to a beggar..
This is not how I wanted to go out.. I wanted to go out with him romantically by holding his hands n talking nicely..

Really broken.. this is not the first time..wenever I ask him to take me out this is how he responds n I end up crying or fighting..

Reason: he thinks all the probs in inlaws house r coz f me n his parents r not happy coz f me.. which is not true.. instead they have made my life hell. Like from beginning his mom kept on saying something or the other n made him fight with me.. n that’s how my relation with h spoilt.. n now coz of all this even for a small wish (aasai) of mine to h he doesn’t honour that…n blames me for everything…really wen I think my life is like this I always cry badly… :
Pls ladies heplp help me out…

Pls give me some suggestions on how to strengthen my bond with h..and how to make him b romantic towards me…

 

1. my salary is saved/emis.. all my salary is handled by h.. his salary (a major part) goes to family i.e. gives to fil.. I don have any issues with my slary.. coz he s a person who thinks f fututre n saves money ..

2. yes i leave my son at home. i have arranged for a maid exclusively only for my son.. she stays till 6 pm n after that till i come back 1 hour mil/co-sis takes care..

3. i din understand ur 3rd point.. pls explain..

 

@pear : u r right i had written more than 2+ posts in inlaws forum.. so to tell u all.. im satyin in inlwas house with so many ppl but except for my son i have no one to count on.. all try to hurt me in every possible way.. my dh , he s sometimes nice to me n many times listens to his mom n fumes at me or directly talks in favour of her infront of everybody showing me wrong and accusing me of the thing which mil points to..
he s too scared that his mom n dad might stop talking t him n think that he s listening to me..a small face reaction from mil n fil he immediately gets tensed n mil takes this oppurtuninty to make him yell/scold/accuse me for all things saying im responsible..and only iam..

do u think if i feel that y cant i live a happy life jus like my colleague is wrong???
is it wrong to wish that my h doesnt behave like other h's...? if he s atleast1% romantic/nice/and stop listening to his mom.. to me then i would not have compared..

 

i asked to him this also.. he says if his parents stay happy by me and my reactions and my behaviour towards them then he would automatically b happy..because he says then there would b no prob in the family n i would b happy..

but i don think his parents would ever b haappy with me..day by day they tend to find more faults with me n try to put a bad dil image of me n compare me to co-sis n treat her with so much of love n irritate me by saying things infront m=f me about her nicely n indirectly saying that ur the only one whom we like..
these kind of actions naturally draws me away from them..n this thing they r doing right after my marriage till now..n thats y i don like them n try to stay away from them n speak less t them..
in this situation how will they speak nice abt me to him n how will i satisfy them n get my h b nice t me???

 

@CuteCancer: thank u.. ok i will not compare!