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Recommended Books for Ladies to Improve Married Lives

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ChennaiExpress, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    @frommars recommended "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" for improving one's life, and being able to tackle difficult situations, especially those we read about on "Married" forums.


    I still read it, and now some ideas are sinking in, i.e. if you want to change a situation, change yourself first. (Kind of interesting because when I was still married, I thought of doing my own thing, changing myself, and God made everything fall into place by removing this parasite from my life)


    Can anyone recommend another book. I can purchase one more book from free trial of Amazon's Audible :) , hence my query.
     
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  2. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    After I posted this message, some links appeared of several topics.

    One person suggested The Alchemist. Sounds interesting!
     
  3. blossomingbud

    blossomingbud Silver IL'ite

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    "The Alchemist", in my opinion, is a great book. It is one of my favorites. But in this context and going by the example(7 habits of highly effective people) you have given, I would rather suggest "Games people play" or "I am okay you are okay".

    Hope you will share your opinion on which your book you have read. Have a nice day.
     
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  4. preesmiles

    preesmiles Silver IL'ite

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    In the context of relationships I think everybody should read Gary Chapman's 5 love languages. It's a simple read and it talks about how conflicts arise because people don't feel loved by their spouses when actually you and your spouse may just have different ways of expressing love.
     
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  5. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh wow! Well, I ended up downloading The Alchemist, which I'll listen to after 7 habits.

    But those books sound so interesting. And I especially want to read them before I even think of matrimony again.
     
  6. sing

    sing Silver IL'ite

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    Doesn't matter how many books you read. What is the proof that you've really changed?

    Started loving your life and feeling happy inside?

    Go for meditation, pranayama and yoga nidra, feel peaceful from within, things change automatically. First you've let go your anger. Buddha gave a wonderful line for this :

    Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

    Read more at Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone... - Buddha at BrainyQuote


    Your posts clearly reveal the burning indignation from within. Its right to clear them, not by reading something as a quick fix but cooling down yourself, takes time.



     
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  7. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, it takes time.

    About 10 months ago when I posted "How will I know a Man will like me", someone suggested reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective people.

    Since then I started to recover by trying to find myself, do meditation, take care of health, acknowledge the anger is there, and not feel so bad about it.

    It's quite a battle, and some thoughts are so angry and scary that when I calm down, I talk to God crying, and then I feel quite guilty, but then I tell myself

    We all live in the same hell, we all deal with different devils.


    And the 13 hour audio book of 7 habits even cautions against "quick fixes".

    I'm even considering reading "Course in Miracles" which is actually a sort of spiritually inspired self-help guide. Lot of concepts resonate with Hinduism, i.e. Karma.

    One lady I know read this thoroughly. It was part of her recovery from being raped several decades ago.


    I understand healing takes time.



    One minute I loathe the thought of going to India, and next minute when I see an Indian, (i.e. there was Indian police officer in footage of news where Sheriff was shot while pumping gas), or Indian serial where people are happy I start to cry and pray for bravery to try to put matrimonial ad again.


    First time when we put matrimonial ad, I was highly pressured, even though I had final say of who I would marry.

    Now at a certain point I have to say "ok, this is hard, but if I don't try for matrimonial ad again, I'll cry the rest of my life".

    And I know I'm such an emotional person (my zodiac sign has the most emotional, touchy-feely people you can imagine), I'll probably cry buckets of tears while doing matrimonial correspondence, talking more and more to God (because to God, we are all His children, not that man is 100xs better than woman, etc).

    Reading books is part of the process. And I've taken up painting.
     
  8. sing

    sing Silver IL'ite

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    The write up feels like a hero extremely agitated at the injustice in current world, except that here that's a "heroine" bie1

    Don't worry too much. Worry kills you and your time. Zodiac signs are crap, we tend to agree to something which reveals a small part of us and the write ups on zodiac signs are sort of the same kind. There may be a iota of truth, but that's not everything, right? Anything written in sufficient generality has some element of truth attributable to us.

    Start "experiencing" life as it comes and goes on a daily basis. Don't rationalize everything. Some times I think, rationality is the killer in our lives trying to not live life like a child. Children always amaze me, the way they are freaking happy all the time.

    Why do you care about what is going on in the world? Does it even matter when you are not responsible for it? If you are an officer then it makes sense all this happens and you gotta do something to sort it out.

    We see life based on the lens of our experience, its heavily distorted in our favor. So lets destroy the lens and see things as they are. Accept what you think is right and move on, don't think twice. Take care.

    P.S : Book reading is fine, but we shouldn't develop an obsession to following every single thing. As rightly written somewhere.

    Is it not a burden to carry the raft on our back that helped us cross the river. Leave it there. You'll find something else as per situation. Spiritual advice is kind of the same.

     
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  9. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    I loved 24/7 marriage. I read it when I was searching again. It gave me lot of perspective with respect to married life.
     
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  10. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Now that's food for thought.
     

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