Lots of negatives in life...when are the things gonna change..

Udasgirl · Aug 5, 2015

Last year is been very hard on us..
My husband lost his job in Nov and got a contract job in Jan..(had to take some pay cut)
I lost my job in March and got contract job in may (had to take pay cut)..

We wanted to move out from the country we are currently in as the job market is tough here..
We have a toddler (2 year).
My husband trying for middle east jobs since last one year.. Gave some interviews - missed one opportunity very closely (that was real heart breaker) ... nothing materialize...
In the meantime there are few people who are in same profession as us (finance) and less qualified and experienced (in some cases) but got job in middle east and moved out as well....
There is no certainity in our life since marriage (8 years). We havn't bought a house yet as we were unsure of living in this country. We don't want to go back to india for various reasons..
Now we are very depressed, disappointed with life... My husband trying like hell to get job in middle east or in other states but nothing..
Also socially we are been kinda odd man out as everyone keep asking what is happening with you guys ? why u have not bought house ? are you still in same place etc.. friends have literally cut down on us and we also don't feel like seeing people as we are ashamed of our situation somehow don't know what to tell people...we feel isolated at times....
I am afraid even after 8 years we will be same like when we came to this country first time... No job in hands and looking for jobs all the time...

My husband is running Rahu mahadasha + shani sadesati..

I am really crying today.. I have lost my patience now... can't take more failures and adversities..
When are things going to change and we will have better life ??

I am lost girls.....
I have no one to talk to (not close to either families for various reasons and no friends)

SGBV · Aug 5, 2015

Hugs to you OP,

Failures and problems are part and parcel of our lives. Don't compare your life with others, because you never know what is happening with their lives.

Trust in God. God will never give hardship to his believers. If there is one missed opportunity, trust the God, that there is something bigger awaiting for you.

Let me relate my story with your case.

I too have suffered a lot of hardship in life since the past years. The recent days have been more tougher financially and health wise.
Had to accept pay cut to be with family, lot of missed opportunities to husband, and unexpected business loss due to political changes here in my country. Now that everything seemed quite dark, as we had almost no hope of the future.

My husband did a lot of remedies citing astrology as an issue. It was his belief, but he has spent a lot of money in the past for this.
His weakness and too much faith in astrology made everyone else take advantage of our situation. Everyone used our issues, and pretended to help us. But in fact, they used our weakness to gain what they were hoping to gain all these while.

frustrations and depressions only put us one step down as we could no longer try with hope.

Apart from confusing as a normal human being would, I still had the trust in God.

We have met a religious counselor recently. Apart from the religious stuff, he advised us to focus on sustainability right now.

Based on his advice, I would suggest you to think of sustainability now.
Don't lose hope. No big dreams as now. Just focus on getting a job. Keep trying while updating your profile.
Let that be your primary focus.
Once you are in a good job, then decide what is next.

I hope you guys must have saved something if there wasn't any investments. If so, this is time for an investment.
Decide whether you want to stay here, leave or find a new place. Match with the possibilities of doing it sooner.
Keep the saving in stand by, if you are not investing.

Don't feel down comparing yourself with others. There are people with better job, but poor family peace, poor health, poor social life, poor satisfaction.

I always had a great career, but never once I could balance my family as I am doing it now.
I never felt that then, thus I was happy about my career. People were even jealous that I was in top career at the very young age.
But now, after accepting a pay cut/post cut for the family, I count it as a blessing. Spending the most important years with kids counts a lot than the salary I missed.
God may have taken my job to give this happiness. Afterall, we work and live to be happy na?
So, think about the bigger picture.

Udasgirl · Aug 5, 2015

honestman said: ↑

Well said @SGBV that too with real testimony.

Never compare your life with other life. You live for yourself and not for society. what is society? it is all your imagination. Does any one feed you at least for one day if you are hungy?

If you want to compare, compare with others who have got bigger problems than you, there are plenty of people who are starving for food, medicine, illness without cure ...etc.

Don't spoil today by worrying about tomorrow or future.

Now you can not afford house. what is the big deal. you can buy when you are stable.

Coming to the job opportunities, all the times it just does not depend on the qualification and experience, some times it is also luck. We just need to wait for our turn. that is it. Keep trying, never give up. Success after failure gives more happiness because it teaches many lessons.

You are just suffering from your inferiority. Try to have at least one friend. Otherwise also be happy your three together.
Click to expand...

We are not always comparing our lives with others but then when you work day and night to get something and in spite of being deserved you don't get it whereas others even less capable get it like breeze .. its really hard not to think about it or feel disappointed.. I am not jealous of others but definitely sad for us...

I want to be happy with just 3 of us and we are happy mostly with our little family however when you live in foreign country, you tend to feel isolated and depressed if you don't have social life and that is a fact... But then if we hang out with friends then they keep asking questions like what you guys are doing ? why u havnt got house etc etc. In whatever form we answer them it is spoiling our relation..
there is a saying - success has many fathers but failure is always orphan which is so true... and we are experiencing it....
I agree that we learn the lesson as we suffer in life however we have to pay price which is our sorrows and tears...
We do not have any inferiority complex but people around us have made us feel inferior

justme123 · Aug 5, 2015

Try and meet new people....make new friends/activities who/that make you feel happy. Especially when going through hard times, you need people who lift your spirits up. Otherwise how will you focus and work to find your way out of the situation?