Dealing with anger and pented frustration in marriage

Dawn · Jul 31, 2015

Dear Ladies,

As it happens in almost all relationships, anger and dealing with anger is a part of marriage.

There are times when we become very angry at our husbands either because of his words or actions or simply the situation is such that there is misunderstanding and frustration. Sometimes anger spoils the relationship, it may breed contempt or a feeling that the other person does not care. Whatever it is, anger is never good for your relationship unless it is resolved.

Logical reasoning and friendly discussion of the matter is hard when you are very angry. So friends, I would like to ask all of you how do you deal with anger in your marriage?

Grihani · Aug 1, 2015

When I am angry, I leave the place, and make sure I do not talk at all because only my tone makes things worse, I always end up not conveying my point. :bonk

guesshoo · Aug 2, 2015

When I am angry, I do not speak out immediately. If I am extremely pissed off and can't contain myself, I would make eye contact(I'm sure I'd have my scary face on) and state, "I am really angry and don't want to continue this discussion until I have calmed down." Then, I go away and strategise.

I choose my battles. I let go of things I can't change and accept them gracefully. However angry I am I always make it a point to figure out how I can convey my point in a way that is most effective. I use humour liberally to convey my point. I have solid friends who help me sound off and figure out solutions.

I phrase my sentences carefully especially when I need to change things to suit myself. I practice saying what I need to say in front of a mirror complete with non-threatening, firm body language and facial expressions. I ensure that I have full control of myself, especially when I am furious. That brings forth a lot of respect.

Hobbies help me lose my frustration - running is extremely effective; it just doesn't suit my lazy lifestyle... sigh! When it is a battle I choose to fight, I ensure I win. That totally obliterates frustration. The key is figuring out what I want exactly and going for it...