i donot know how to write this..earlier my life was fun, this was 6 years back. Life went on fine, easy peasy. Switching jobs, changing houses , relocating, loving hubby, normal in laws, great parents.wait a sec, i never realized I had all this,,, and even before marriage life was good and easy. i being the younger sibling was cared, protected and pampered child.one more thing about me is that i am like a hyper sensitive person, in jobs too I am unable to handle pressure. I cry easily and this has been a drawback for me so far. struggle started when almost aftr 5 yrs of marriage there was no natural conceptions and soon societal pressures, friends and family started asking. I decided to take it seriously. Previously all test showed normal results. Still out of admancy I decided to visit a fertility expert and under "unexplained infertility" she suggested ivf. It was during the pre tests for this if that my low amh ( ovarian faliure/ cant produce eggs) was discovered I cried and then decided to go through the procedure. Hubby too has some fertility problems. ivf falied badly and the irony was due to our lack of knowledge as to how long the procedure could take, it actually clashed with my sister in law's wedding and another maternal cousin's wedding. You can well imagine what a girl has to face if she fails to attend her sil's weddin. It was from that time onwards that I practically saw that my in laws could be that bad, that they wont even give a word of sympathy at this point. Rather they were full of anger. It was a joint decision by my family and hubby at that point that I should not be working now as I am anyways unhappy and unprogressive at work, always changing jobs. Rather I should focus on household chores and stay home to be stress free and be healthy. This did not work for long and i then decided to take up a much junior role compared to my last job, just to be stress meaniwhile Meanwhile another secret agenda that i was focussing on was to settke aboroad, since we have lived there once for a year and i now believe that i really liked it there. so friction was there since trying to achieve two goals always kept us extremely busy. i kept trying ayurveda, accupunture, yoga etc all this while and tried to keep myself healhy. Took two expensive vacations also. finally when everything was calm after around 1.25 years of last ivf failure i again decided to give it a short . it was april this year i was diagonsed with very high jaundice. At least 2 months of complete break from any treatment i jus waited somehow to get over with it and as per doctors approval i took the 2nd treatement costing 4 lacs the same day when the treatement got over my dad passed way, 12th july 2015 the treatment failed today pl tell what can i do?
periods? If you do not mind me asking, how much is your amh you mention it is low? Are you getting your
I am sorry to hear about situation and also for your big loss may your dad soul RIP. Have hope people have rough phase it is a passing cloud, relax and stay calm everything will fall in place. Easily said than done but think about your happy days and soon you will get them back.
Hypersensitive people are more easily hurt. Because I am hypersensitive, my relatives tried to hide bad things under the rug till they no longer could. Then the consequences were even worse. No job pressure for me, but I am attacked by dark thoughts every now and again (it's cyclical). Several times an hour I will speak out loud to God, under my breath, and pray for His blessings, and thank Him for what he has done. You take bathroom breaks at office? In ladies room in stall, talk under your breath to God. Ask him to help you with your office work. These things will take a life of its own because we have our own personal relationship with God. Your true friends are those who are the moon in your darkest hour Stress, genetics, God's plan. I regularly watch Joel Osteen, he's inspirational speaker. He spoke of couple who struggled with infertility for 10 years, left it to God, then God made the lady pregnant naturally. In your darkest hour, the ones who are genuine will be your moon. Apparently your in-laws are insensitive. Don't worry, we all act like jerks. If anyone were in their position, how would they react if their DIL didn't attend their daughter's wedding. They'd be slighted. Some people would forget, others would take it personally. We all have different levels of Emotional Intelligence, but since In-Laws have upper hand in our society, you have to deal with their bulls###, and accept that's how they are, and see in what other areas they can be of use to you. Once you can compose yourself, look at how to use them to your advantage for anything and everything. God will help you with this. Ladies who do housework can learn to do great things. Ever look into blogging about your stay-at-home experiences. It can help yourself pen your feelings, and other ladies. Ok, just pray to God outloud during bathroom breaks. Or lunch breaks. Or any breaks. OK Oh dear Is your husband nice and loving at least? Then you both are trying your best. I am sorry to hear of all this. Is your husband supporting you during your loss? And what about your mother, or anyone else? {{{hugs}}}
Dear @Myxu , very sorry for the stress you are going through and very sorry for your loss. hugs to you. Just take a deep breath, relax, meditate, pray and start over all over again. Don't get pressurized to have babies, it's not the end of the world, you can always adopt , seriously there are many babies out there who need that love you can give ... Relax a bit, take a break and focus on self development, focus on mending important relationships. Have a job and focus on that. Develop some hobbies, go travel a bit and enjoy your life again. All is well, and this phase will pass
When i read your story i feel its me who's writing it.I have been through 3 failed ivf and am embarking on the 4th ,not sure how i got the courage to carry on.I guess its hope that we survive on.The vision of a small child in your arms can make you go through all the sufferings without complains. One word of advise for you.Stop interacting with people who stress you out,as it is the fertility treatments is super hard on the body as well as mind.Only a person who has gone thru this will understand what its like,and no one else.People outside the circle will tend to make all sort of stories of how you are at home and enjoying yourself.Pay no heed to such people.There will be subtle hints and taunts from people too regarding your childlessness,it can really hurt you,but learn to be strong and face them upfront.Imagine how heartless they are to hurt you when they know what you are going through.I believe in karma.The bad they do will come back to them one day. Meanwhile be strong,learn to spend good time together with your hubby,after all only he is the closest person who really understands what you are going through.Make this time available to build a solid foundation for marriage.Do things togethers ,things you both enjoy like joining a gym together,or going for daily walks or taking mini trips together.Remember to take off time during the treatments to reguvenate yourself.All the best.
You are lucky that you are able to at least have IVF with your own eggs.Not everyone is that lucky. Do not feel stressed about it. Count your blessings. (You do not have ovarian failure as you mentioned in your first post.) If your AMH is that low, they will recommend donor eggs and IVF which is not the case. So feel good about that. Always remember that your body reacts to your positive and negative feelings. The more positive you feel about yourself, the more chances of your IVF getting succeeded. Read up on Placebo effect. That will help. Also try not to think about your pregnancy, and be very busy. That will reduce your stress levels and increase your chances of getting pregnant. And regarding your father's expiry, I have no words to console you on that. All I can say is cry your heart out and move on.
