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Tell me what should i do- quit or punish him?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by snowhite, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. snowhite

    snowhite Junior IL'ite

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    Please read my story with patience and help me-

    Girls, we all must have come across men who tries to touch feel our body in public places or while travelling in buses etc. They place their hands or move /pass in such a way that their body touches our private parts- whether up or below.

    We must have experienced all these since long. We find such men here and there.....and try to save ourselves from them while travelling or being in public places.
    We hate such men and try to forget these then.


    But can you tell me ....what should i do when i discover such characteristics present in my husband? Every girl wants a man of true character.


    I have seen him doing such things with a lady co-passenger when i was travelling with him three weeks after marriage. That sight of his action completely changed my world, specially when i am a newly wedded wife to him. How could he even think of doing those dirty things with that characterless lady co-passenger. They both were enjoying so much. Thinking about this still haunts me and torments me everytime.
    He thought i wont notice his behaviour .


    Later i tried to speak to him about this but he denied .
    I even noticed his body langauge in public places, he moves so easily near and around other girls who doesnot care even if their bossom gets touched or hit by a passerby. Now in same situation when i pass nearby him in kitchen or our room, he moves his body giving me enough space to pass so that my body doesnot touch his body.
    This shows that he knows the behaviour but willingly doesnot give space to other ladies just to get the dirty pleasure.
    All these nasty things gives a so bad feelings that i cannot explain.
    Women can tolerate anything but not such things of cheating from her husband.
    He broke my trust in the first month of our marriage in this way.

    These things torments me and gives me nightmares.

    It makes me insecure when he is out alone for work and sometimes when he comes late.




    No doubt we had arrange marriage, but true men he is not faithfull and loyal to me yet. He doesnot even give me love and affection that a true man gives to his beloved wife. He just acts to give it and pretends to be innocent and ignorant about building a healthy relationship with a spouce.

    Tell me is there any way how to change his character? These feelings are killing me every day from inside. Because i donot know what he will do in future- if he starts any nasty affair with anyone else?. Am scared.


    If there is no way to change his character, then tel me how do i prove it? So that i can bring him to book?
     
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  2. deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

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    I really feel bad for you as none of the girl will tolerate this.......

    Tell him the consequences of his action!!!!... What if a lady slaps him in public!!!!.... Tell him that....

    If he doesnt realise or refuses, you tell him that you faced such a situation and you slapped that guy!!!!....

    Threaten him that you urself will handover him to police station next time if he does that....

    Unless he changes, you dont talk to him properly!!!... And dont allow him to touch till the time u get comfortable with his behaviour!!!!....
     
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  3. deepideepi

    deepideepi Silver IL'ite

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    Oh my god! Such a nasty person. Once i was with my BADE PAPA on his bike going somewhere, i noticed that he was turning is head after all the attracting womens on the road while driving. I didn't felt good about that though that was not crime but what ur husband is doing is crime. Nowadays so many men r beaten up by women for these kind of actvity on d spot. He is getting lucky till now. It is very hard to change him in my point of view.

    Make a video secrectly whenever u c him doing that. But make sure that d video should not affect that women in any way. Then after its ur choice that on that besis u want to give divorce to him or give him chance to change. But it is very hard to belive him.
     
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  4. soni1987

    soni1987 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hii snowwhite..

    Really feel sorry after reading your story... I was just posting mine here when i saw yours...

    We feel that we are in trouble more than others but in real many other persons are going through much worse than ours..

    Anyway... This is very disturbing and unforgettable behavior...but its difficult to prove. 1st Option
    I would suggest to keep close check on your DH on these things.. If you are with him while he does such things... Inform him on the right place... If he is getting crushed in a bus or train or anywhere.. Ask him loudly why u getting crush with ladies come next to me here we have space.. or just go and stand in the middle of the lady and your husband..
    this act cannot change his character but can at least give him an hint that you know about his acts..

    Second Option
    Take pictures of those two or videos if possible without his knowledge, so that you have proof of his behavior... But take care of this

    Some characters cannot be changed, may be he loves you but gets pleasure by these acts.. these are actually a addiction the same way some has ****, drinking or smoking addictions which is very difficult to change...

    Take care... and apologize if I hurt you.
     
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  5. snowhite

    snowhite Junior IL'ite

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    no dear you didnot hurt me.
    now also i had a phone with him and asked him to call before he leves from office once more as i love to talk to him , but he said he has work and if he calls me once more he would have to do overtime.
    See how he is attached to me.....all such things proves that he has no interest in me

    Moreover about the video part- that i also thought, but i donot see its possible as those instances happen for few seconds.

    I have lost my peace of mind,. While am out with him, am always in anxiety when he will crush any lady passing by.
     
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  6. snowhite

    snowhite Junior IL'ite

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    Truely you said these things are addiction like alcohol and drugs.
    One more thing- if he had truely loved me, he would have been loyal to me. His heart would not have allowed him to even think /do any such things
     
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  7. snowhite

    snowhite Junior IL'ite

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    I want to know is there any organisation who would track such person and help me to bring him to book?
     
  8. shari2003

    shari2003 Silver IL'ite

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    I think it is a psychological issue, at least many men who do this suffer from such disorders. Would it be possible for you to take him to a psychologist?
     
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  9. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Does he do this behavior with strangers or with known girls? If he is doing with strangers then one day he might get beaten up.

    Ask him if he would like if you did the same with other men?

    I think he is addicted. Next time, just say loudly, "you are crushing her' Making sure that the girl hears it. That way the girl will take care of herself and may give a dirty look to your husband and that might change him.

    It is really a disgusting behavior.
     
  10. BDivya

    BDivya Platinum IL'ite

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    sorry about ur situation dear..
    may b if u have a close girl friend u may ask her to come along when u both travel out n not identify her as ur friend to ur h n u may ask her to stand next t ur h n may b if he tries the same dirty act u may inform earlier to ur friend to slap him in public...
    this may give him a warning n u can use of this situation n tell him every now n then that u may get slapped by gals if u continue ur actions... dont mistake me for this idea.. this just striked my mind after reading all responses..
    may b if he realises his mistake then u may lead a peaceful life... sorry again if i had hurt ur feelings..
     
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