I can never learn to drive...

Driving phobia is a real thing .Hugs to you Ophugsmiley
You are not alone.
How to Overcome a Driving Phobia: 9 Steps (with Pictures)

Don't compare....you have an issue,your siblings don't.There must be things you do much better than them. Take your own time.Don't set fixed goals...be flexible....and don't be too hard on yourself. You will get there.

 

I had the same issue. Think about the possibilities. Driving will make you so much more independent, confident. Especially when you are living in north america, it is difficult to get around without a car. As you grow older, it will become more and more difficult to learn.

Accept that it will take you much longer than an average person to get drivers licence. Be okay with this and patient with yourself.

Can you afford lessons from a driving school? They often have seen all kinds of drivers including nervous driver. Tell your instructor upfront that you are nervous and need someone to be patient. Focus on one thing at a time. During my initial lessons, I was just learning to start car, drive straight on an empty small street, and turn off the car. I wasnt even looking at mirrors for blind spot, or changing lanes. I would just drive straight in one lane. Once I could do that, I started looking at mirror periodically to check who is behind me while driving straight....then on to changing lanes.

I failed driving exam 10 times before I got my licence. Today, i drive every single day. I even drive on long trips from one state to another.

When you are more comfortable, you can start practicing with your husband for extra practice. Also driving instructors car will make you comfortable because they have a second brake that they can use to stop the car in case the student makes a mistake. so in case of dangerous situation he will take care of it, and you dont feel like all the pressure is on you. Good luck. And please dont give up even if it takes you couple of years.

 

Please take lessons with an instructor instead of husband. They have seen all kind of students and their fears and will be better equipped to help you overcome your fears.

 

I can understand what you are going through. We all have phobia's. And it's really normal of you to feel under confident after all those incidents. But, the first question you have to ask yourself is, 'Do I want to learn driving?' If you have a negative answer to this question, then no one in this whole wide world can teach you driving. But if your answer is positive, then no one in this world can stop you from learning to drive. Clear this question first.

Just imagine you're driving a car safely. Visualise the scene of you driving. Visualise everything that your husband, your instructor taught you before actual driving. This will help you prepare mentally. Remember, driving is matter of practice. The more you'll drive, the better you'll get. Just try and imagine the feeling you'll get after successfully learning to drive.

Please ask your husband to have some patience with you.

 

@shruti1487,

Dear Shruti, have heart from the fact that you have not given up learning to drive. I myself do not know driving. not even a cycle !!! gigglingsmiley. I also feel handicapped for not knowing driving.:-(. Still I have not taken up driving classes. At least you are trying.That is a better thing than what I am doing, not even attempting.

Practice makes perfect. If you are not comfortable with your husband teaching you to drive, ask him to send you for professional driving courses. As other IL ites have pointed out here, they know fully well about our difficulties and fears and will also not blame our mistakes instead they will sure help you learn driving..


All the best for your driving journey !!


Regards,

Pavithra

 

Get lessons from an instructor. My otherwise patient DH used to start with a low volume of instructions and then goes on a high pitch. I rammed my car in a yield sign pole. And I still have that phobia.. ;-). I changed a couple of instructors and finally got a very good instructor who motivated me and I passed the driving test in the first attempt. So good luck to you !
I still feel nervous when my H is next to me. He will do some hand movements..as if I am doing something wrong. that is quite annoying.. ha ha ha

 

I did not drive for almost 6 years even though I got my driver's license in the first try. On the morning of road test I dashed against a pole and kept a big expense for my DH to fix his new car. My only experience with driving was cycling in India and that too I gave up with traffic. Crisis forced me to drive. Now I enjoy driving especially by myself. I started just making right turns first(in US). so wherever I have to go I will plan such that I only take right turns even if it means it's the longest route. and then slowly practiced lane changing and then my job forced me to drive for almost 100 miles a day. So now when I look back I feel I should have done it much earlier

Get a good instructor. go for 4-6 classes. trust your car with airbags. and you are more safer to learn here. other advice my instructor gave me was to trust other drivers too. So, go for it. You will enjoy driving in no time.

 

if you can afford it go for a driving instructor. He will come in a special car with two brakes, one on driver's side and one on the front passenger side where he will sit. So no matter what, you will be safe. If you make a mistake or are in danger, he will hit the brake on his side and stop the car. The lessons are expensive but driving in that a couple of times may help decrease your fear that you will cause an accident.

Secondly if you want to practice on your own, scope out in your neighbourhood a safe area. Is there a park or elementary school, you can practice safely inside the parking lot all the different steps and turns. pick a nice day when there is not much snow on the ground.

When you go on a route for the first time, go on a well known route, one which is familiar to you and you know like the back of your hand. Let it be a simple route, not a complicated one, with just 1-2 stop signs, traffic signals and left turns in a low traffic area. Once you find such a route go on that again and again at low traffic times like weekend mornings till you feel you can drive it with your eyes closed. Then as you feel confident slowly add more complicated routes.

 

Husbands are the worst driving instructors. Second worst place goes to over protective(either of child or cargigglingsmiley) fathers.