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Tired of my husband's impatient behaviour

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shruti1487, Apr 28, 2015.

  1. shruti1487

    shruti1487 Bronze IL'ite

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    I'm sure my husband is having some mental problems. If there is any problem, he gets panicky and wants it to be sorted ASAP. If there is some thing that doesn't go his way, he starts cursing me and our son. Once everything is sorted, he shows loves to us. Now today our dentist has send out claim to our insurance company and entered wrong procedure codes because of which we owe them a balance of $150. Now it's under my name and the receptionist who I was dealing with will come to office in 2 hrs. I talked with other receptionist who is the mother of the owner of the office and she told me that they did nothing wrong and we owe $150. She advised me to wait for the other receptionist and talk with her. I told this to my husband who stared blaming me, cursing me and my son and his job etc. I hate him already and now I hate him more. Really want to leave him and live a happy life with my son. Tried speaking with him but seems his mental illness is increasing day by day as soon he will have to go to mental hospital. Sorry if I'm rude but I'm so frustrated right now.

    Update: now he phoned me and said sorry. I'm calm down but I don't know how to handle his behaviour.

    He was a clean freak already and now this type behaviour. Sometimes I feel so embarrassed in public coz of this.
     
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Is he stressed at work?Does he have health conditions like High BP ...
    Some people are high strung and get stressed out easily. May be he should see a doctor about this ...or try Yoga.

    Have you talked to him calmly about this behavior of his and how it effects you.
    May be you need to send him a message that you both need to talk on this issue.
    prepare your points and talk it out.
     
  3. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    The term "Mental issues" is a pretty strong term to describe your husband's behaviour.

    In addition to what @yellowmango said, I suggest you take him counselling. His problems as you describe him, are usually solvable with effort and guidance.

    Right now, focus on your baby. That's going to take all your effort and energy.:)
     
  4. shruti1487

    shruti1487 Bronze IL'ite

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    He is neither stressed at work nor at home...but yeah after my parents left me after the nasty stay at my house (see history on my previous posts), he is picking things on me..he compares me to my parents, he curses my parents for not contacting once after they left me and ask about our son..he gets mad when he sees a mo or dirt or a stain or like if bedsheet is coming out of bed...

    He was a clean freak but now it's like he had gone mad about cleaning especially after my parents left...I feel like he is making sure we are not like my parents - careless about cleaning...

    In my house either in dealing with his craziness for cleaning or his impatience about issues being delayed. I can't handle this man...

    I don't want to start any argument coz of my small baby. Ever since my parents have left me, I feel like slapping my husband, asking him to leave his habit of cleaning (in my mind I blame my husband,..I believe coz of his cleaning attitude, my parents gor pissed and left me abandoned)...I just don't want to see his face...I have started to hate him so much...he wants things his way..else cursing starts..I feel like prisoner in my own house.
     
  5. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Obsessive compulsive (OCD) is a curable condition through counselling and medication. I suggest you find out where he can be treated there in Canada. I think that the person with the condition also suffers due to their insecurity in addition to the suffering they impose on others.
     
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  6. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi OP

    did you just say you have small baby? If he is not stressed from office, could it be baby chores? We have 10 months old and similar stuff is going in my house. My H is becoming senile as I have writing long posts on IL out of stress from him and just like your case, I was stopped by some poster to not to use strong words ;-).

    In my case, i think baby chores have added lot of stress to our lives and ofcourse age, high bp conditions, work stress, damp weather adds and I literally feel scared from him sometimes. He has to specifically comment negatively on everything I do...

    Could that be your case too? I think once weather warms up and your baby is little bigger..his stress levels will be less.
     
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  7. shruti1487

    shruti1487 Bronze IL'ite

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    Same is with me too... I am tired of nags, complaints and everything. He has become super fussy on issues which are not even important. I do t know how to handle his negativity. My baby is only 8 weeks old.
     
  8. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    Op I have gone through all your previous threads. Things do get hard when out little bundle of joy arrives, mostly because of lack of sleep. Tell him to go to a doctor and get himself checked. Do it asap. Same goes for you. I had the worst PPD and it got ignored. I used to feel depressed all the time. I had to take a very mild anti depressant and I am fine now. So please both of you do not ignore and visit your doctor
     
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  9. dsmenon

    dsmenon Gold IL'ite

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    You both need to talk to a third person. vent out all your feelings and frustrations there. And for that a best place would be counselling.
     
  10. SARAH284

    SARAH284 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear OP

    OCD is a complex mental condition .Person with OCD is living under constant stress and frustration even if they are buzy with work or behaving normally, intrusive thoughts still occurs in their minds! They suffer from constant mental confinement which results in angry OCD outbursts. If something gets in the way of their compulsions they feel incredibly angry.

    I know its really hard to live with someone with OCD …….it’s an endless test of patience. But you have to understand that Ur DH is not doing it on purpose that’s why he feels remorse after he suddenly explode over small issues. He is as helpless as you are

    Your husband needs to consult psychiatrist and seek treatment for it . If he is not willing then you need to have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him that you at your wits end and even thinking about separation. Tell him he needs to take treatment otherwise this marriage is going to end very soon. Calmly explain him you do understand his conditions but you will only put an effort to save this marriage if he is willing to seek treatment.
     

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