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Where does this ends?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Denni, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. Denni

    Denni Gold IL'ite

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    I always believed that marriage is sacred and our spouses are chosen by god. I always told myself that my bad days and marital problems will somehow go away. I thought all my miseries and heartaches are temporary. Today, I came to a breaking point.

    I have done enough but people expect more and more of me. I feel like carcass waiting to be eaten by vultures. Everyone wants a piece of me.

    I had a rough day. Bad day at work and usual financial problem. Sleepless night, baggy eyes and not forgetting dark circles around my eyes. I am in my mid thirties but I look years older. I've known little peace and happiness from the day I was married. I always told myself, whatever problems that I face shall pass and I am strong and can overcome anything. But everyone has their weak point....

    My MIL came with my husbands SIL. She demanded an answer for delaying her monthly allowance. The came uninvited and with intention to fight. I was a little disturbed with my other gazillion issues when they came. Looked like a WWF tag team. I was alone and defenceless as I know my DH would never back up me. As I was going through some hard times, something took over me and I almost became possessed. I screamed at them for demanding money when I was having so much trouble saving my DH from his debts. One thing led to another....my MIL, SIL and I exchanged some nasty words. I was a topper, I was possessed , remember?. They were shocked as I they have never seen me loose my temper. I chased them away from my house and slammed the door on their face. DH's SIL shouted outside my house. My neighbours heard everything and one particular neighbour loves such quarrels and I am sure she called all the other neighbours and shared the news.

    When I came to my senses, I realised that I went down to their level and behaved cheaply! My parents didnt raise me that way. I was struct with guilt! I begin to ask myself, do I deserve to be treated in such way after all I have done? Where does this ends? My DH with his never ending debt saga, my money minded MIL will never get satisfied and now she has a partner. Where do I stand?. I tried to end my life many times but backed off thinking about my son. Now I am thinking very hard, pain and suffering is all I have known. I am tired , very tired of hoping for the impossible. Maybe I should take some rest.

    I felt like sharing. I can only do that in IL.

    Peace.....why does that word sound so strange to me?
     
    5 people like this.
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You were pushed and pushed against a wall and you shoved back. You cannot act like a saint all the time.
    Don't beat yourself up. Your neighbors will gossip for a while and then move on. I wish you find a peaceful solution to your problems.
     
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  3. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Feel so sorry for your situation and hugs to you dear. I have read your earlier posts too. There are other people on IL who would give you much valuable input. I just want to say, this was going to happen one day or the other. When we have our buttons pushed to the extreme what could be the result. Let bygones be bygones. Just stay put and don't kill yourself on guilt. They don't have any right to demand money. Probably they will never come back which is good for you. Your last words shows how bad you are hurt. Let it go. take time for yourself and do your best. Please take rest and things will get better.
     
  4. Denni

    Denni Gold IL'ite

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    I wish I have sisters like you guys, someone I can talk to and thank you IL for that. I desperately wanted to hear some consoling words. Tx.
     
    2 people like this.
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    By topper you mean in school, college or in giving it back nice and good to MIL and SIL? I hope the latter.

    I've read your earlier threads, and felt good to read in this one that you gave it to them for once.

    It's good to become possessed once in a while. Such sessions of possession should be like brief tropical storms. Strong, raging, brief, soak them all, and then back to regular weather.
     
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  6. Denni

    Denni Gold IL'ite

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    The latter of course. I won the battle :). Cant believe I am smiling.
     
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  7. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    You go girl.. Go capture the world....
    . Its the sad part when parents raise kids and expect money in return , its like business, we brought you up now pay us back.Not that we shouldnt provide, but the demand of money is the sad part... am saying cause my friend dad said she is a cheater cause she gave up her job to be with family,and not providing for her parents.
     
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  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Good for you girl!
    No point holding it in all life....it becomes poison.
    Please don't feel guilty and do not ever apologize to those two.Infact ,when you see them again...stare at them and say hissssss!That will keep them off!

    I think you should do something like this to your husband too......for his irresponsible debt taking ways.
    If you keep killing yourself for paying off his debts....why will he stop.Give him an ultimatum that you will not be responsible for paying back his debts any longer.Let him know that you will not let him and his greedy mother take you and your son down with his debts. You have to stop paying back his debt denni...other wise this cycle will not end.

    For the time being...just enjoy the feeling of this win.You fought back two horrible people.....Cheers!!!:cheersAnd a giant hug to you.hugsmiley
     
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  9. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Denni.. demi god..
    You go girl !!! Don't be bothered about your neighbors. As if they are going to solve your problems. Just hold your head high and march.
    If you can't stand up for your self respect and dignity, who else will. Yes, sometimes when we attempt to clean the mess, our hands get dirty too.. But never mind !
    We are all human beings and we have a breaking point. I hope your SIL and MIL have learnt their lesson. If not, be prepared to take another class..until they learn their lessons properly.. :)
     
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  10. Denni

    Denni Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you everyone. I feel better now knowing I did the right thing. Should have done that long ago.
     

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