How to cope up with this

@sweety127:


Is there anyone (someone who is willing to please her and help :roll who can be with her when you will be out on your vacation? Try and see if this works.

Alternately, you can arrange a trip for her too with people in her age group. This will be a win-win.

Encourage her to pursue any of her hobbies/interests, if any (may be she can take few classes or courses when you are away).

 

Dear OP,

I sailed in the same boat a few months ago, since I also stay with DH and MIL. Whenever we (me & DH) would return from a trip, she would tell my DH how she fell ill in our absence, how she had sleepless nights (as if she never slept alone when DH was single and reaching home in the wee hours of morning after get-together and party).

You see Indian men are wired to be highly sensitive towards their moms. During that time, their reasoning button goes for a toss and the DW has to bear the brunt of DH's guilt trips.

The best course of action is that when you are planning this trip for yourself and the DH, you should also plan something for your MIL. Also, I always try to tell myself that if my brother and SIL went for a trip, I will obviously worry about my mother. So, it is imperative that you plan something for her as well. Maybe you could ask her to stay with SIl or you could call SIL to stay over? Or MIL could visit her brothers? Maybe you could have her enrolled in some activity classes, like I have gifetd a harmonium to my MIL and have also arranged for a masterjee and she is quite happy with that.

Besides, you must encourage her to regularly go for for morning & evening walks because sitting for the whole day at home also brings a lot of negativity. Make sure you call her at-least 5-6 times a day even if that is too hard for you because these small small gestures go a long way in strengthening the bonds. Always get some gifts for her & SIL from wherever you go. When you come back, after you have unpacked and rested, make sure you spend enough time with her, do share your adventures and experiences with her.
Most of the time, our preconceived notions and our prejudices come in the way of forming a good equation with the MILs.

 

Hi Op,

I have not read any of the suggestion posted here, straight away giving mine....

1. if she is interested in going to any of her relatives house for a week... send her there
2. or there are group of people who always go on heritage or devotional tours... if she is interested make arrangements for that.

 

@op...
There's a simple solution to this.. a short vacation to a temple (a weekend trip) with MIL will keep her satisfied.. then you can go on your romantic long trip.. all the best

 

@sweety127:
Ignore her drama. Take her comments one ear and let it out the other. Agreed that rifts are created by people poking their nose in others business unnecessarily.
Since you mentioned cooking, if it works for you, you can encourage her/teach her to post her recipes, cooking tips, cleaning tips online. That will take some negativity off of her .