1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

My DH wish and i am confused...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by chocogal26, Mar 21, 2015.

Page 1 of 5
  1. Mar 21, 2015 #1
    chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all Wonderful Ladies,
    I always got good advises here and living happy life..thanks to all.

    Now the thing is...Sorry for long post!!!

    We were married around 7 yrs ago. we have a 6 yr old kid. We both were living in India before marriage. He was in b'galore and i was in Delhi. My DH got onsite project when we engaged...he found me as a lucky charm. with in a month we got married and left India after 10 days of marriage...It means after marriage i didn't get chance to live in India.

    1. We were in Germany around 4 yrs. I came to India for my delivery...and i suffered alot..I don't want to write the story...I mean i didn't get any help.I was literally suffering after delivery i went back to my Dh.

    2. After Germany We left to UK...he again got chance to work with good firm in UK. we were there around 2.5 yrs.

    3. After spending 6.5 yrs outside...i was literally missing everyone..we used to go once in a year to meet everyone.

    4. I was missing Indian Food,My Parents, My Friends, Indian dresses, My kid is growing in different atmosphere...Finally my DH agreed and he left job for me and came back to Delhi.

    5. After coming back to India 6 month before...he spend 4 months at home he was finding job.After 4 months he got a job in a good company..we were settling our home from Scratch to Car n all. we Spent almost 20 lacs in buying and settling ourself here in last 6 month including child admission in good CBSE School.

    6. I am very happy here. But he was not happy with work environment here. He didn't like his job at all. He always complains....why i came back.

    Now turning point..AGAIN HE GOT AN ONSITE OFFER FROM CHICAGO and he is very excited for this. and i don't know how to react. I am really confused should we go or not.

    Pros In India
    1. In India I Got Maid for cleaning vessels n and sweeping moping and Cook comes for Food. we are having lots of variety of foods here.
    2. I am meeting relatives and celebrating all festivals here.
    3. We watch movies almost every weekend in the multiplex here.
    4. We shop our indian tastes clothes. We eat Indian sweets we both love india sweets sooo much.
    5. My child in going in good CBSE school .

    Cons in India
    1. My DH is always miss his work...he spend almost 7 yrs outside from india.work environment is entirely different here.
    2. We are not getting organic milk here.
    3. My In-laws comes in every 3 months for 10-15 days and expect me to work from morning 5 to 11 pm like a slave. They don't allowed any maid to enter my house during that period.
    4. Planning for second baby in the next year....I am sure in delhi /NCR they will do c-section for sure. no chances for normal delivery in India actually i had first child from c-section.


    Pros in Chicago
    1. My DH will be happy.
    2. I can try for normal delivery. Chances will be more for normal delivery in USA.

    Cons in Chicago
    1. I heard lots about chicago weather. some says its worst than germany n uk.
    2. I will not have any help like maid n all.
    3. I always feel lonely outside from india.

    NOTE:
    We are in good financial position.
    My DH wants to work in Foreign Countries because of work environment he wants to go. the only reason for me to leave my india for more chances of normal delivery thats it.

    my DH Left decision on me if we will go or not. what say ladies.....
     
    chocogal26, Mar 21, 2015
    chocogal26, Mar 21, 2015
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. SuiDhaaga

      Is Something Sign From God Or Wishful Thinking

      SuiDhaaga, Jul 4, 2023, in forum: General Discussions
      Replies:
      47
      Views:
      3,284
      Thyagarajan
      Jul 9, 2023
    2. nsairam

      A Simple Raghavendra Swamy' Seva To Fulfill Our Wishes

      nsairam, Feb 26, 2023, in forum: Pujas Prayers & Slokas
      Replies:
      0
      Views:
      1,953
      nsairam
      Feb 26, 2023
    3. 1Sandhya

      Prayers And Best Wishes To Those In Hurricane Ian’s Path

      1Sandhya, Sep 28, 2022, in forum: Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)
      Replies:
      10
      Views:
      1,288
      HariLakhera
      Sep 30, 2022
  2. Mar 21, 2015 #2
    Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,006
    Likes Received:
    1,750
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    @chocogal26:
    Please check these links for understanding about VBAC (since you are keen on normal delivery after a c-section):

    Lamaze for Parents : Blogs : Weighing the Pros and Cons of Planned VBAC and Repeat Cesarean Section

    Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC): 9 Things to Consider

    Can I Have a Vaginal Birth If I Had a Previous C-Section?

    May be this will help you in your decision-making process.
     
    Sparkle, Mar 21, 2015
    Sparkle, Mar 21, 2015
    #2
    1 person likes this.
  3. Mar 21, 2015 #3
    Butterflie

    Butterflie Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    IMO, being happy in your work environment is very essential for overall happiness of the family. I telling you this with experience.
    Maybe before coming to the US, you can do a lot of prep work and get stuff from india. Like indian dresses, spices and things like that?
    Once you get a good social circle, you will kind of not miss your relatives that much.
     
    Butterflie, Mar 21, 2015
    Butterflie, Mar 21, 2015
    #3
    2 people like this.
  4. Mar 21, 2015 #4
    docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    378
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Having a normal delivery is hardly a reason.. VBAC is an option which may or may not occur depending on the situation.. Besides having two cesarean's is not a big deal.. In your place I would wonder if our family as a whole is happier in which place and then decide.. Take care..
     
    docathome, Mar 21, 2015
    docathome, Mar 21, 2015
    #4
  5. Mar 21, 2015 #5
    CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    1,636
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    It is a very hard decision and I am not able to give any advice. One thing that came to my mind that IF you decide to move try get involved in the community. Get to know your childrens friends parents, be involved in the school/hobbies of your child. In that way you can build up your own social life.
     
    CrayoNess, Mar 21, 2015
    CrayoNess, Mar 21, 2015
    #5
  6. Mar 21, 2015 #6
    Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,633
    Likes Received:
    4,991
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    About pregnancy, @Sparkle has given some good pointers to think of. Don't worry about it too much. At least in US, doctors try for normal and only in exceptional cases, they will go for C-Section. However, either way doesn't matter. My SIL had two C-Sections in India and everything is fine. So don't have such personal rules. Let the health of the baby and the position of baby decide the delivery.

    Chicago weather is hard. It snows a lot but summer is beautiful. I don't think you will miss much of your lifestyle. You can hire a maid or a nanny who also cooks and takes care of the baby. Now if he is coming on H-1, then you can also get work permit and work. There are good indian restaurants in Chicago and a huge indian community as well with many temples. These days movies are released at the same time worldwide and you can watch them in theaters.

    Yes, working environment is different in India and in US and it is difficult for many people to adjust if they move to India from US. So if he wants to work in a US environment, try it out. He already tried coming back to you on your insistence. So you should support him now. Work does consume 8 to 10 hours of a person's life daily and a good supportive working environment is needed.
     
    Akanksha1982, Mar 21, 2015
    Akanksha1982, Mar 21, 2015
    #6
    3 people like this.
  7. Mar 21, 2015 #7
    heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,335
    Likes Received:
    2,544
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Genrally, its adivsible for everyone to be happy and do what they like, however very few cases get to do it in real life.... most of us, search for happiness in what we have ( its is not that bad)

    Practically, if the family is dependent on his income, we must ( like it or not) respect the fact.You already have been doing it for 7 years :). If he can adjust with India job, it will be good for you but looks like he is not. My advice, support him for emotional, financial and practical reasons. Also US has always been welcomming to Indians! There are loads of people from India!

    Discuss with your husband clearly, he might have few good ideas on this on work peespective which will affect family.
     
    heron, Mar 21, 2015
    heron, Mar 21, 2015
    #7
    2 people like this.
  8. Mar 21, 2015 #8
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,513
    Likes Received:
    30,287
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Such onsite offer - when it comes is it a surprise to the employee or does it come only when the person expresses interest in it and seeks it out?

    Was/Is it possible to discuss the issue of moving abroad before the abroad opportunity presents itself?
     
    Rihana, Mar 21, 2015
    Rihana, Mar 21, 2015
    #8
    2 people like this.
  9. Mar 21, 2015 #9
    hope2b

    hope2b Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    192
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Go to Chicago, pros outweigh con's.
     
    hope2b, Mar 21, 2015
    hope2b, Mar 21, 2015
    #9
    3 people like this.
  10. Mar 21, 2015 #10
    chocogal26

    chocogal26 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Rihana...Thanks for writing me.
    Thing is after coming back to India he was searching job...he sent his resume naukri.com, monster, and many places. He was refusing some of calls where the work was not related to his interest area. Last month he got a call from UK same company where he was working but project was not looking attracting .Off course he has given interviews and he informed me. i wish him a good luck too.

    But he didn't sign the appointment letter yet he is asking me.." Are you Happy"...and i am literally confused.
    I wrote OFFER means he got selected one of his interview for chicago.Project will start from 1st September. i hope you understand what i mean.
     
    chocogal26, Mar 21, 2015
    chocogal26, Mar 21, 2015
    #10
Page 1 of 5

Share This Page