H cheating, what should i do

Hi
After wedding a colleague of H used to call him nd talk with him on regular basis. She also tried to show as they both wer very good friends and i was like a showpiece. I saw some pics of her in his laptop(dressing room pics). i asked H and he said that he had no control if somebody else is sending him pics. I let that go, and asked him to lessen the contact. he assured me. After a month H was chatting with her , we were sitting together, during the caht she wrote; your wife is unlucky for you, h dint responded. again H promised to stop the contact. again aftersometime i found her no saved with some other name. On that day H called her and talked with her for 20-22 mins. the i created a scene, i called back on the no, the girls picked and i told him the whole story, Her H too admitted his insecurity about the 2. My H again - same promises, assurances. He deleted her from fb, gtalk.
Now after 3 years today morning when me and H were watching a video, a msg popped , H speedily closed that. I got upset at the first site. But maintaining my patience, i asked him.my communication:
Me: who is this girl.
H: girl is from my office and a new trainee.
Me: i know this is the same girl, i saw her pic when msg popped
H: oh no she is different, and she is in europe.
Me: Just 2 mins back, you told she is anew trainee.
H(accepted): She is the same girl, mere peeche padi hai, mai kya karun. i never reply to her msgs
Me: if you do not reply then why she wrote heylo deari
H: I talked with her 2 3 times but only official talks and she asked me about my promotion.
M: what if i had done the same. i am taking this as a cheating.
then he started shouting on me, he broke things and started using abusive words.
I left the room. i am very depressed, i m feeling as noone is with me.

 

Hi, thanks everybody
@ivlakshmi: H himself blocked that girl 3 years back.
@ragini25: dear ragini, that was exactly what happened, they are in same corporation and they chat on communicator.
@weasely: He breaks my trust everytime, on every single thing, if questioned he makes such a big drama (he picks some past topic)and makes me feel guilty for not trusting him.
i trusted him for 3 years, but when i saw the popped msg, i felt shattered. i walked away from room. at night he came to me and tried to physically abuse me, there i gave him a warning to call 911. He was literally behaving like an animal, banging walls, breaking things and constantly accusing me for not trusting him. he said he could not believe that his wifes standpoint could be so superficial which brakes on a single message from an anonymous girl.( later he accepted that he initiated talks with her and talked for 5 6 times in last few months)
Then he deviated the topic to sending money to his parents(to make fuss). And started calling me Ghar todne vali, mere ghar ko jala diya, meri maa ko tadpaya and much more,then abused my parents. I could not control, i cried whole night.
Friends i have always supported him in his financial decisions, always respected his parents and yesterday i had to hear such words., he also gave me reason why i respect his parents " you are afraid of my parents, they ll ruin your family so you do not have the power to speak against them".
he said his mom is like a 2 year old kid for him and he will continue giving her amount whether he is able to save money or not, He knows what is good for his family.
in morning he apologised as nothing happened last night. after 10 mins he again started behaving same way, abusedmy parents and me. his said auratein zinda jala deni chahiye,just after this sentence he turned "i respect them all".
Sometimes back,one of his colleague told that he calls somebody (she hinted - his mom)everyday and he gets very upset after that and he dont do any work. she told me in office parties he abuses people after drinking.
This is the culture at his house which i have seen since 3 years. women are not lallowed to work at his place, they are uneducated, male members earn money.
My mom is gynaec,my dad and mom has a wonderful relation, touch wood.
I too expected the same, i stood for my H every single moment. He thinks that i am with him because i m afraid of him. He is a fairwhether - m happy he is happy, m upset then auratein sirf barbadi hain,. Ok i see then y did you married one, who gave you birth??????
I know the situations are calling a divorce but personally i DO NOT want this.
Please suggest me how to handle this man.