Homemakers dance

Have you ever seen a peacock dance with a peahen - yes of course - the rhythm, the synchronous movements, their intense concentration on the dance, the moments of coming close and then moving away, the gentle touches, their anticipation of each other's moves !! It is a joy to watch and so divine !!

But have you seen the dance of a husband and wife lost in their morning chores????


My childhood friend and DS12 had come to her hometown from abroad after several years, and I and DS10 stayed overnight in her uncle's house so that we could spend time with each other!!

Uncle is 50 (well, he's been our mama since our childhood so I'm calling him uncle - some of my DH's friends are also nearly 50 and I call them Anna ;-)) Aunty is about 46-47! They have 2 daughters aged 12 and 5 (married at late age)! Uncle's father is 92-93 and retired elder brother (widower with grown & flown kids) stay with them.

Uncle and aunty both work, elder uncle takes care of grandpa completely like a full time nurse and takes care of the 2 kids once they're back from school!!

We asked if we should get up early to help the next morning as it was Friday - working day and school day for kids !
They said yes, wake up early, if you want to watch, but you cannot do anything - it is automatic between us things will get done faster if you don’t interfere !!! ;-) So me and my friend happily agreed to just get pampered and watch!!!

And yes, it was a pleasure to watch - At 5 am, we see aunty in a fresh nightie with a towel on her head (cooking only after head bath), uncle in fresh white pancha (white dhoti) - it was difficult to see who switched on the washing machine, who put the powder, who put them to dry, who switched on the cooker, who put the tadka, who ran the mixie, who cleaned up the mess, but one by one dishes started to appear at the dining table - cooking for all of us at home + my friend's parents and DH were also reaching that afternoon ! Breakfast and lunch for all had to be ready before they left!

They worked together in the small kitchen (that also had the washing machine) with a large backyard, old fashioned two-burner stove, normal knives, no readymade gravies, not pre-cut/frozen stuff, no electric rice cooker, no microwaves or otgs, no induction stove!

Clothes were put to dry in the backyard. The dal, sambhar, brinjal curry and beans curry arrived at the dining table! Then came the vangi bhath - we saw them going up and down, smiling at each other, totally in sync, we watched them involved in the work - household chores were their only thoughts - intense concentration on the tasks ahead !!! And me and my friend looked at each other in wonderment !!!

By the time we brushed and came, we got our coffees ! Both our sons wake up and start their chats and play and we see the older girl awakened by her dad !
Then we saw the pulihara and chutneys on the table - and the older girl is sent for bath - her dad ties up her long hair expertly (so that hair doesn’t get wet during bath)

Uncle and aunty were still in the kitchen, and still smiling and in sync, and rasam and the idlis come to the table along with milk for the kids and grandpa !

When the older girl is ready in uniform, uncle expertly made up her hair - two plaits folded !! WOW !!! My friend and I could only gape at each other. Even we cant make it so neat and so fast (we do plait our own hair but have a son each, so no practice on others!!)

The younger one also got ready in the meantime - we played with her and delayed her a bit but by 8 am all dishes were ready on the table and lunch boxes for the kids - rice, pulihara, vangi bhath, more idlis, sambar, rasam, dal, 2 pachadis, brinjal curry and beans curry and buttermilk and curd and mineral water bottles !!! The house was swept, the clothes were washed and put to dry, dishes were kept out for the maid to come. The kids were readied and the kitchen was clean! We could not pinpoint and say who did what - both did all the chores together

Everyone was fed with breakfast and left for school and office, grandpa was fresh and fed by elder uncle, And they said they'll take half-day off and try to come home early !!!

I have seen many couples in sync during parties, in offices, supporting each other in business or their careers or when someone's in the hospital or during parenting - but household chores ??

I saw this couple and thought - when we say the wife is a homemaker - why is the husband also not the homemaker !

Here, although both have their careers, both of them were the homemakers and they dance the dance of homemakers every single day in perfect sync!!!

Both uncle and aunty have PhDs and work with the print media and education !

When we make excuses for husbands not sharing chores at home - we have so many excuses -
Moms never allow their son to work, if the guy stays away during studies or work, they learn to handle housework - this uncle had been staying with his parents since birth in the very same house!

Small town men don’t do housework as they don’t have exposure- this is a very small town 3 hours from Chennai
Elder brothers might pitch in but younger ones don’t pitch in housework - this uncle is the youngest of 7 brothers
The man must be in a hotshot career so no time for housework - this uncle has a phd and is in media - so no less busy !!!
If they get married early, they will be open for training for household work, older men dont change - this uncle got married at 36+ and still understood the need to support his wife!

In joint families, the other women take care, so no chance for the men to work - here it is a joint family, one or two brothers out of the 7 always stayed in the family house - still it was this couple who would complete the cooking and morning chores !!!

I have met them so many times over the years and visited them almost every time my friend came down, but this was the first time I stayed the night after her grandma died (6 years back), so I could see one more facet of a loving and supportive wife and husband combination !!

Couldn’t help sharing with you all!

Please share the story of any such couple you have seen !