is my husband right

priynwada · Dec 20, 2014

hello ladies,so i am here today to share my feelings with you. i can't tell these things to my family but i can't keep everything with myself now. So here i am.

i am married in 2013,had baby in dec 2013 same year. me and my hubby live in usa. we had many many fights in this year.

fight no.1: after the engagement my huband asked me my fb account's password,which i gave him. so i had many male friends on fb,some of them i did not know. i was just adding them randomly. I talked to many boys on fb(hi ,hello, r u single etc). i did not had any male friend in my class or no bf. so i was liking it on fb. i did not flirt with them. there was one of my friend whom i did video call for 20 to 25 seconds. my husband knew all those things and still he married me. So whenever he listens the word FB he shouts at me. One day he literally threw me out of the house,when i begged to him to show my baby he tookk me in, and he kicked by his legs on my butts. It was horrible. He said why you betrayed me?

Fight 2: this was in may. i was late in ordering my toefl mark****. i forgot it. my husband again angry,he lost his temper,said many many many bad words(useless piece of ****, and many more). i became very upset,i started to cry and i literally drank dishwasher detergent. My husband saw this and he hit me very very bad. on my mouth,on my back,everywhere. he said me if you want to die go on some road and then die,or go to ur father's house and then die. he made me to vomit. and sat down,went to office. in the next day he came,said sorry and said you made these chnages in me.

Fight 3: So after this incident i decided to take admission for ms as an international student but i missed the deadline, and i had to enroll as H4 student. My husband again became angry on me and he took his belt and bit me very hard. because i missed the deadline and i could not do job earlier.

Fight 4: now in july. we were there on vacation in seattle. it was 7pm and my husband told me to find a pizza shop nearby as he was driving. he told me to do so on yelp. There is one function redo search in this area. I tried but i could not do that. He stopped the car,came out, and gave me a slap on my face. aggain slapped for 3 4 times. this broke my goggle given by my father.

Remaining fights. So there are always fights between us, once in a week. It is bacause i don't have job. It is bacause I got scars on face, which he thinks look ugly. W fight bacause my parents won't call his parents often.

Now whenever he is fighting, i am loosing my patience. Because whatever he speaks it is very hard. so whenever he fights either i start to cry very badly or i go on any wall and hit my head or make myself slap very ver bad. i try to kill myself.
so in every month we had fight. I los my health, i was 59 and now im 48. everyone is asking me r u ill? i am 25 and when i see girls of my age happy i am crying.
what should i do? please help and support me
i am in india now, should i go back to USA..?

armummy · Dec 21, 2014

Why do you want to go back to US , to get more beatings from him .

tell you parents what happened and stay where you are . Do you have any evidence if physical abuse .'if you have to police station and file a case . Get away from him , don't Rhee into that abusive relationship again .

Weasly · Dec 21, 2014

Op you shud have never married this guy when the first red flag was asking for your password and checking up on you! I think i shared my password with dh after about 6 months of my narriage and that too cause i was unable to extract some information due to network issues and i asked my dh to do it. Asking for password and all is a sign that they want to check up on u and keep a tab on you! Its not healthy! I dont think you should go back. Stay in india and consider seperation. When in US on H4 you have very little power in your hand if your husband is not the supportive types.

Rise · Dec 21, 2014

YOUR HUSBAND IS WRONG -- VERY WRONG !!

Why are you putting up with this... now u are in India.. the best chance to make things right for You... Tell ur parents his parents all the world he is an ABUSER .... the longer u hide the longer u suffer . We are not in year 1927 wer girls are uneducated and suffered such abuse... see the year 2014 near 2015 .. how dear did u put up with this .... Respect urself . Live a happy life as a divorcee than a Victim of abuse

CrayoNess · Dec 21, 2014

Your husband is abusive and he has committed a crime. Using violence is a crime both in India and in US. At least in US he would most probably go to jail if you would report and maybe also according to indian laws.

Do you work, do you have education, are you able to provide for your self? You have to divorce this guy, get at least a decent settlement for the child custody and also for alimony until you are on your own feet.

priynwada · Dec 21, 2014

Hello ladies thanks for Ur replies. my husband said if u would open your mouth then he would take all the pages of my Facebook account,publish them and show them to my parents. he said that he would ruin my and my parents life. take my child away.

i don't work in us but in india i could definitely get a job also my parents side is very rich. can i get my child's custody? he is the only happiness i have now. nothing left. he is the reason why i still laugh. This man said a lot things about my face,my scars. when i see myself in mirror i hate myself. i want to tell these things to my parents but i am really scared.

fiter · Dec 21, 2014

tell them every thing. they r the only one who love u unconditionally.nobody can do anything to u, just they scare u. tell your parents everything and mother is natural gaurdian for child.you are specially made by GOD with all of his love dont hate urself.

Shanvy · Dec 21, 2014

priyanwada,

your husband is wrong. and he has no right to make your life miserable as to want to kill yourself. you are in a domestic violence scenario that has effected you physically, emotionally and your self esteem.

dear, please do talk to your parents openly. tell them that in the flush of wanting to experience having bf, you chatted with guys on fb and nothing more. tell them yourself rather than being blackmailed everytime that your husband will disclose it to your parents.

tell them everything. parents may be upset with you for going through this alone for so long , but remember they are going to not stand aside and allow him to get away with it.

You have not done anything wrong. so stop being scared and look up ways of getting back that self esteem and confidence he has dented.

take that first step towards open communication with your parents..

Twinkel · Dec 21, 2014

It's time you kick him and throw him out of your life. And regarding fb, you haven't committed any sin to be afraid. Tell the whole world that you got married to a beast and put him in his right place, behind bars. Such people are a threat to society, not just you. There is not even 1% chance that you wont get custody of your child. He is just trying to scare you and is playing emotional games with you.
If you want to be at peace and want your son to grow up to be a good citizen, you need to act right away. Going back into a abusive relation doesn't just spoil your life. It would set up an example for your son of how a man could mistreat a woman and get away with it. We don't want any more kids growing up with this attitude. Do yourself giod, do good to your son and contribute your part for a safe society in putting a beast behind bars and by preventing another boy turn into a abuser. Its all upto you now.

Rise · Dec 21, 2014

Even if he show ur messages ...its not a crime you did.. wht he is doing to u is criminal.. Domestic violence... if u n parents hve enough money to live happily in india.. why sacrificr it for an Abuser...do you want to teach ur child to hve ni srlf respect and stand up against wrongdoing... You hvw only One LIFE ... live it happily.. be selfish.

priynwada said: ↑

Hello ladies thanks for Ur replies. my husband said if u would open your mouth then he would take all the pages of my Facebook account,publish them and show them to my parents. he said that he would ruin my and my parents life. take my child away.

i don't work in us but in india i could definitely get a job also my parents side is very rich. can i get my child's custody? he is the only happiness i have now. nothing left. he is the reason why i still laugh. This man said a lot things about my face,my scars. when i see myself in mirror i hate myself. i want to tell these things to my parents but i am really scared.
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