1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

I am confused! please help

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by formy2s, Dec 18, 2014.

  1. formy2s

    formy2s New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I am married for 3months and I found that my husband has had physical relationship with lot of girls (call girls) before marriage I.e., during his collage and initial days of job. Recently I found all these through his past emails and chat conversations. I was devastated seeing this.
    I saw one such website opened on his mobile once, when I asked him . he said it was all before wedding and before his mom's death (2013) and now he was not into all this.
    After marriage, I indirectly asked him, if he had done any such things but he denied it.

    He is now in the US alone for the past one month. And I believe he is into all this.
    Now, I know him for almost 6months, I must say he is a sweetheart. He is responsible, caring everything that I wanted. And I really love him a lot.

    I really do no how to react now. Should I forgive and forget his past.
    I have not told it to anyone at home. It will be a very big shock.

    Also now I am going to quit my job and join him shortly. Is this a right move ?
     
    Loading...

  2. stillwaters

    stillwaters Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    466
    Likes Received:
    609
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi formy , sorry for your married life to have started this way.
    It is not a matter to be taken lightly.
    Have you discussed about this with your parents ? They should know and decide what to do . Maybe even discuss with the mediator who got the alliance done or any parents or elder siblings of your husband.
    Discussion should be done with your dh to lay down the ground rules for future behaviour with some elder present . He should know that in future also your parents will try to keep track of his behaviour . Any promises to you alone may not be kept .
    Do not go to him without any resolution. Do not get carried away by your feelings for him .
    The other major concern is health . You should insist that he should do an hiv , hepatitis b and herpes genitalis tests and send you the medical reports before you join him. These are sexually transmitted incurable diseases with major impacts . Then get the reports analysed by your local family doctor.
    According to me both are vital issues but the best people to advise you would be your parents .
     

Share This Page