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Suggestions for dealing with 'heart-break'

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ragini25, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Have any of you or your close family/friends gone through a heartbreak? Any suggestions on how you dealt with it?

    A good friend is going through a heartbreak. A few years together, but they have decided it wont work, and parting ways. That decision is final, so seems to be no point re-visiting that. Going through major heartbreak and seems inconsolable. Ofcourse, I have given support as well as the suggestions I know of, but I understand heartbreak takes time to heal.

    - What are some of the things one can do to get over seriously sad heartbreak? If you have personal experience of overcoming one - then suggest what you did.
    - I know timelines for "healing process" varies a lot, some get over it in a month, some take 6 months, and some take years. Is there anyway to reduce the time it takes to get over a heartbreak? (possibly not too much, but maybe there are some ways).

    Obviously one feels like the life will crumble, I keep suggesting repeat to yourself "I'll be just fine eventually" though it can be hard to believe that when one goes through tough heartbreak.
     
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  2. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Not separations but worse.I have seen some of friends lose their husbands in line of duty.Words just become hollow and empty.

    What you can do is be there for the person.....not just for the first few days ...but months and years. Distractions from time to time...specially when they are really down help in bringing a smile.

    Sitting down with them and making small goals for the near future help too. Like getting a job...deciding on where to live ....

    Best wishes to your friend.
     
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  4. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    No personal experience but in general, nature is a good healer. Ask your friend to travel, do hiking, biking, gardening, etc. Burn or dump memorabilia in ocean. Move to a different city, apartment etc. make some goals like running a marathon etc.
     
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  5. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    @yellowmango, I really feel for the people who die in the line of duty. If you don't mind me asking, does govt. provide life insurance/pension for men/women in service?
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    There is some pension.....also medical benefits+ insurance. Wives who are educated and young enough to join the services are provided that...if they qualify in non combat roles. Some are given jobs in schools run by the forces. Three of my friends joined the services. My husbands commanding officer's widow was given a job in school run by the forces. They are also allowed accommodation for a few years in the station where he was posted last...specially if children are studying.
     
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  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I have dealt with an heart-broken friend some years back. She was my college mate, who fell deeply in love with a senior student from another college, whom her family choose for her though common relatives.

    She in fact fell in love with this guy only after their official engagement. Either she was madly in love with him thus failed to understand his real color, or the guy in fact decided to commit for her. We have no clue. But according to her, both loved each other for about 1 year or so.

    She would do anything and everything to please him. She was so longing for his love and acceptance that she was truly and really committed to him. This sounded as if it was a one-side deep and mad love.

    After almost an year or so, the guy suddenly decided to patch up with his ex lover, who separated from him for whatever the reasons before. He then eloped with her by leaving a simple "Sorry" message to my friend. His family later accepted their marriage and moved on.

    But my friend had a serious psychological issue and totally collapsed. She even discontinued her studies, lost interest in everything and always remained sad. Once I saw her collapsing all of a sudden on a road by seeing a bus routed to that guy's place.

    However, we helped her by finding a new job. A new work place, work challenges, new colleagues and the adjustment expected in the new work environment and life style slowly changed her.
    She found completely new friends who never knew her past at the office.
    She focused all her energy in the new work; thus climbed her career ladder.

    Years later, she found her soul mate at that work place, who was her good buddy during her healing time.

    Her friends and family stood by her completely, specially they allowed her to move out from her house to stay as a PG in a new city, and work in a completely new office independently.

    She is happily married with a kid right now.

    I just thought of clearly explaining this case, so that you see how exactly the healing happened.

    As for your friend, I would suggest a new change. She shouldn't be expected to live and handle the same people, same issue every day. A new living arrangement, a new task (either study or job) and a new set of friends would help her focus on something other than her lost love.

    Specially don't push or ask anything until she comes up. But be a good listener without any judgement. That itself enough.
     
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  8. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    I attended therapy sessions to get over him and forgive him.. This might help some people. It definitely showed me some improvement. Hope it works for her as well.
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    And Yoga classes. That really helps. In fact, not for heart breaks, but for stress management I used Yoga and the new Yoga team members the maximum. I am really relieved.
     
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  10. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks so much folks, very useful suggestions. Thanks a lot! If there are others with experiences or suggestions, continue to share in this thread.
     

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