Advice needed ,going though a lot of emotions ,plz help with ur advice

Follow your parents advise. Do MS and concentrate on career ,you are very young , you will found love in future too ..your ex is not the only man in the world.

 

listen to your parents ... thy are showing you the way.. take it up

 

I second that. Once you concentrate on something productive you will start to regain your confidence and as your social circle becomes bigger you will become more cheerful and optimistic about life. Please try to further your studies or find a job irrespective of your marital status. What kind of visa are you on? Do you have any relatives in the USA? Do you have any friends who can help you or offer moral support in the USA?

So many women in my immediate family, including my mother and aunts, and in my extended family got married in their 30's and are blessed with kids and good husbands. Your mother-in-law is only trying to psycho you. It is none of her business anyway how you lead your Life after you get divorced. I understand that it is not easy to think positively when you are in the situation that you are in, which is why you should try to do an MS or get hold of a job. It is much easier to be a single and independent woman in the States and you will manage just fine once you get out of the toxic environment that you are in right now.

 

I am also agreeing with the MS suggestion. Do check with your divorce lawyer through...your ex may be required to pay for it by the courts.

 

1 - 30 is still young. I am nearing mid-thirties and God was kind enough to free me from a physically and emotionally abusive marriage, and I am not worried about the prospects of re-marriage
2 - You are never too old for God. Ladies in their 40s get HAPPILY married, you need to ask God for help

What we think is what we attract. Speaking for myself, I believe I attracted my abusive ex husband because of all the negative garbage I allowed myself to be fed, and how poorly I thought of myself.

My whole life I got the subliminal message that because I made mistakes and I wasn't perfect that my husband would abuse me. The irony is, I married someone less intelligent than me, and I allowed him to make me feel dumb and inferior. I was bringing home the money, he sat on his a$$ watching TV, chatting with his friends, flirting with his married girlfriend via social media, etc

We are like butterflies, only outsiders see our beauty. Realize that you are beautiful and you will attract the Man of Your Dreams who also believes you are beautiful.

Do you think your MIL loves you? Do you think she cares for you? She is taking her son's side and the only way her son will be happy is if you are sad and miserable, she is only adding fuel to the fire.

I like how people will complain and say that others have to change. Why don't your in-laws change themselves instead of pointing their fingers at you? I love people, seriously.

After you get away from this piece of garbage, take better care of your health. Your skin will glow, the weight will automatically shed. And find one or two hobbies you enjoy. Start researching on www.pinterest.com.

God is always testing us Dear. God is testing me right now. God wants us to work out of our Karmas. Once we pass the tests, our lives begin to improve. I suggest daily meditation. Right now, I'm at 30 minutes in morning, 30 minutes before bed. I sit on floor cross-legged. Or you can simply sit on a chair and meditate.

It's natural that you still have feelings for him, it takes time to disappear. Focus on giving your Heart to God instead, he will take care of it better, and give it to a nice man who deserves it

Bottom line, he is Bad Husband. Forgiving someone doesn't mean their actions are OK, forgiveness means it no longer affects your life.

If he wants to divorce you, just let him. He is trying to find reasons to divorce you. Sooner he is out of your life, better it is.

The more worried you are, the more people are going to abuse you. I have noticed this personally.

When I was in family court, I noticed that a lot of the battered women, or women who were simply abused were lacking confidence in themselves, and didn't even like themselves enough to take care of themselves.

One lady was going to court suing her ex for child-support. She wearing knee length blue skirt in the dead of winter, with cheap $2 dollar shoes. Her hair wasn't even fixed half-way decently. But forget about outward appearances, her demeanor screamed that she felt she deserved to be abused.

Another lady was crying to her attorney about how she has trust issues. How her father left the family when she was a teenager, etc, etc, and how her 23 years of her life has been filled with mistrust and anxiety. The attorney was trying to console her, telling her to channel her frustrations into something positive because that's how people become successful. When I happened to turn around and see her, he looked really sickly, and you would think she was approaching 50. All her sadness and anxiety carved into her beautiful, God-given face.



You have to like yourself and understand that even if no one else likes you GOD LOVES YOU.


Here is what I have done when I was at a point in my marriage where I thought ok, maybe he will turn around, turn a new life

- Have your own hobbies and interests
- If someone gives you work, or a task, work on it with all your might, make sure you do your job perfectly
- Tell God, "God, this marriage is in your hands"

Either way, the outcome is positive

(1) your husband will decide to be nice to you AND STAY

or

(2) your husband will leave you so God will give you a better husband

 

Is your age the only reason you are afraid to step out of this marriage? would you stick to it if you were several years younger? You are still young and have so much in front of you and just imagine how long you will live and if you really wish to spent all these years with that man?! he made it very clear that he doesnt wish to continue it seems so it appears to me that all you can do is get up and wipe off the dust. I too got divorced. I left my husband when i was 27 and got legally divorced at (if i remember right, sorry) 30 which is approx same as you will get out. Im now married again with a baby.
you mentiond that he critizises your anger management and you might have a temper. You feel he is right and agree with having such problem? If yes try to work on it, try meditation maybe go to a councellor work on yourself. but DONT swallow what he tells you if he wants to just hurt you or lower your self esteem, the only one who should be able to judge you and the way you should be like is yourself. so be what you want to be and how you want to be. I agree with your parents that its a good idea to go abroad for masters, i did the same and it helped me gain better selfconfidence.

 

I agree with your parents, you need to look at the MS option, I am telling your girl there is nothing better than being independent and liberated! 30 is young!! And you really dont need someone in your life who is so much into looks and fault finding !! Marriage is about companionship and understanding, what does your husband think when he is 90 years old then also he wants a 16 yr old looking girl? What is all this structure a beauty, he married you in all his sense so there is no I married because of my parents and all. Some people just have to blame everybody around them for their discontent, dont get sucked into it !! I hope things work out for you !

 

hmm... so MIL has suddenly changed her tune and after that her son also did the same... well op it could be that she did not expect that the matter would go to the point of divorce. Since you were tolerating for 5 years she may have thought you are used to this and kept on piling on the taunts and inciting her son to teach you a lesson, make you change etc. And now she is trying to play with your mind.
I dont think you should pay any attention to what she or her precious son says. And mind you they will try to change their tune, play with your mind and give several different what if's and if only's. But now the time for all that is past. Focus on yourself. Listen to what your parents -- who are your only well wishers in this situation are telling you. Do the MS. Rebuild your esteem and sense of worth. Feeling empty and sad everyday like that, feeling broken and worthless because of his behaviour -- it is not worth it. Wish you all the best.