Scare about marriage

Hi Ladies, I am 34 year single guy i know its ladies form and i am reading regarding all topics which discussed here about marriage relationship etc.. today i am posting my first post i think you can help me on my issue which i am feeling about marriage.. I am single guy 34 year old and my i am elder son in my family have one younger sis and then one younger brother..i am from north india (delhi) i believe that i am emotional and reserve kind of person not talking too much not too much friend circle but whenever if see any big issue which is related to me or my family i always like blast i talked so badly before other person not start badly.. in my family we are 5 member except my father he is retired we all are working but when i was 25 since that time marriage proposal came for me but because of my sis i thought first we looking a guy for her then i will go for marriage but unfortunately my sis still single.. and we 3 siblings are cross 30 because i am elder son i just spend my more then half my salary to home and i am not expecting anything from my younger sis and brother.. my younger sis is working on good position and getting good salary my be more then mine we never ask her for support home expenses for running home my younger brother also working on good position he is developer so i just always told him if you have any good girl for him and you like to go marriage so you can go ahead do not stop your life just because of us, my dad is not very active and socialize so we are not connected in our society, my sis is working girl and like to continue job after marriage..because of her position its very difficult to search a guy at same level or upper who getting good salary and taking care and its look like she is carrier oriented girl (she dont talk to us since when she was at 11th standard) just because of one incident my dad was beat her when she done some mistake and i was the one who came between them and stop my dad, but she decided after that whenever anyone argue with her its now time she stopped talking to us, i also not include in them because now i feel its their life and now they are much enough mature to understand what is good and what is wrong. so no need to explain anything.. because of these time and women expectations and now we are seeing lots of divorced cases i am seeing. i am really scare to go marriage because of i am elder and my mom is not is good age to handle work and home together..i am seeing she is so hard working woman i am really so feel sad even i always said just stop job.. and take rest she said if i stop my job i will get ill and until you will not get married i will not stop job..until retirement. but at this time women can do same because of their expectations my problem is i dont get good proposal in case of education and who showing some confident to handle these situation if in case of any problem coming in future.. i have one condition which i always ask her front of girl because of my mother is so hardworking i always ask just support her in case of house and i want she will take rest now....but whenever i am looking my financial situation i am thinking how my marriage will go.. if i will go to get a working girl so how could she handle and support my mom..and i understand after working its difficult to take care of home..because of my sis is busy with her work when she is at home after working (like working after office) and not helping my mom until my mom is not in bad situation.. or not able to prepare dinner then she go and prepare dinner so if my wife will coming in same attitude so how my life is going ..i cannot go marriage because of just housewife or not able to handle today life ..she must be aware or today situation..so these circumstance will always capture mind mind..even i found a girl and i said yes to her and initially they said yes for me but after some her relatives came and met me after meeting we did not know what happened they said no..they given reason because of kundli matching but i felt like they don't like my salary and our home(its not big house)i think that was the reason and thats really hurt me lot and my brother now getting good salary package now some marriage proposal coming for him since past few time after heared his salary and position.. sometime he blamed to my parents they are not serious about mine marriage..but i never stop if he found anyone so go and get married..my parents always says to me if i found any girl who would like to get married so you can go and get married but i believe that girl should be come by parents blessing..now what i am thinking people make them fool and they don't thinking what is right and wrong they just thought my kinds now get married soon..so whenever some proposal came so it was not matchable...like not educated(atleast graduate) sometime i asked their response if they agree or not for this marriage(most of the time they are silent) so i just denied because not getting any response from girl side..and during our conversation i usually asked same questions which i share with you about my job my mother situation..what is planning for future if she like working after marriage or not..sometime i never see confident which i am expecting from girl side..and sometime i feel like if my wife coming or her nature like my sis so how my life is going in future..so ladies because its your form.. i know its my first post and little lengthy message please dont get bored..i tried to explain my situation even i did not mention other things which i thought also share but its lengthy because today women says like we don't like sit at home or just taking care home only and prepare food for your family members..etc....so i need your suggestion.. i am scare or its just my thinking..

 

Thank you chennai express for your response.sorry i dont know your name so i just called your user name..

She doesn't talk to you?

Yes, she dont like talking to us. she believe that what i observed if she talking to us may be we start sometime questioning which she dont like to reply.

What type of expectations?
Women want to marry a nice guy who will respect them. Divorces happen because women can walk away from a guy who is abusing her, or cheating on her.

She will support my mother incase of housework..if i will get married after that my mother still do housework if incase she is not working girl. I respect girl unfortunately i dont have many female friends because i studied in boys govt school. i am working in US MNC as an Sr.Analyst. where i am seeing lots of working women.

What expectations?

Why should she support your mom? As a Man, A Husband, you should support Both your Mom and Wife.


Wait, so you expect your wife to
1. Work
2. Support your mom
3. Do housework

Ofcourse why not if my mom can do why not my wife. i am also work support my mom do housework sometime but usually my mom can do for me also so why not she..?

And you are wondering why you are not getting any good matches?


Maybe the girl's relatives feel you are too demanding of her.
What will you give the girl in return? What kind of Husband will you be? Or do you expect the Wife does 100%, and you get all the benefits because God made you a Male?

We never demand anything even girl dont know i asked her because we exchanged our numbers when i said yes for that marriage.



This is an arranged marriage, not a love marriage. This arrangement looks scary and overwhelming.

What are you giving the girl in return? Just a stamp that she got married so that people no longer pressure her to get married.You talk about what you want from your wife, but you never once say what you will give to your wife. It's as if God made you Male, and your job is done.

what a girl expect from a partner..? i dont know why you using this word Stamp for marriage..? i am also getting married stamp in your point of view..whenever i met a girl i explained to girl what i am earning now how much i am spending my part of salary to my family. I always said thats how i am i dont tell what i can give her but i always ask and showing my situation how i am and waiting for her response. Even girl parents said we dont have any problem but i dont get any response from girl so i said NO(UNTIL I WILL NOT GET ASSURE FROM GIRL SIDE).


Some women like to stay home and work inside the home. Other women like to work outside the home and hire a maid.

You need to think about what you will offer as a husband, how you will love care and support your wife, instead of how your wife will support your mom and you.


Do you even plan to take her on honeymoon, and if you do, does she also have to bear all the expenses? Will you also take your entire family with you to your honeymoon?


Seriously, instead of thinking about yourself, you need to think about how to be a nicer husband, a nicer human being, it's not enough to be born a Male.


i like a wife who is jolly nature kind of girl.. who make smile to everyone..so people get happy talking to her.. I dont have offer anything to girl i just show that how i am as guy..what is my hobby what i like or dislike..if you accept me with these things then i dont have problem. Honeymoon yes its very romantic word every couple really like to go honeymoon after marriage yes i have also wish to go honeymoon even nobody did anything like before in my family but i like to do in my case. I never think about myself i always think about my family..specially my parents who workhard for growing us.